The Originals Season 2, Episode 7: "Chasing The Devil's Tail" Recap/Review

Welp, so long, Ansel! We hardly know ye. I was a little disappointed that Ansel was taken out so early in the game, but weirdly enough, I kind of understand Klaus' motives? The more people who know about Hope, the more people who could potentially spill the beans, either voluntarily or under coercion, and Klaus is NOT taking any more chances where his first-born daughter is concerned. With both Esther and Mikael wandering around town with the foulest of motives, Klaus doesn't really have a lot of options. Werewolves can't be compelled, so there was no way he could mind-wipe him, and Esther is surely powerful enough to get into his brain for answers if she knows they're there. Still, Ansel died so Elijah could LIVE, and our favorite noble Mikaelson brother is finally conscious again, woooo! FINALLY. Plus, we've got some amazing Koleb/Davina interactions, yet another perfect team-up of Marcel, Hayley, Cami, Josh, and Aiden in order to fuck with Finn, and some quality brother-bonding time between Elijah and Klaus, so all around, it's a pretty great episode in a long line of great episodes of this show.

Anyway, I should really just start the recap rather than getting into everything in the introduction, yeah? Yeah. Let's talk about "Chasing The Devil's Tail!"

(PS, sorry in advance, but I don't think there are going to be any gifs in this-- first of all, my Tumblr-fu has been unable to dig up many to begin with, but then after I uploaded like, two gifsets, MY COMPUTER SPONTANEOUSLY RESTARTED ITSELF AND I LOST LIKE TWENTY GIFS AND CAPS. So, I'm way too lazy to dig them up again, since I'd rather use that time to get the next one started, so we'll just be doing screencaps this time around. My deepest apologies!-- Emily)

Previously, on The Originals: Esther came back from the dead to supposedly heal the Mikaelson family. To do so, she used her magic to possess a series of bodies (first the final Harvest girl, Cassie, followed by a middle-aged witch named Lenore), and did the same with her two sons Finn and Kol, who are currently possessing man-witches named Vincent and Kaleb, respectively. She made it clear that she wanted her remaining children (and Hayley) to do the same by forsaking their Original vampire nature and inhabiting the bodies of witches and, in Klaus and Hayley's cases, werewolves. After Kol and Davina helped Klaus in the gang out of a tough spot with Mikael, they decided to flee the scene to avoid Klaus' wrath at Davina for betraying him by bringing Mikael back in the first place, but not before Davina managed to snag the indestructible white oak stake out from under their noses as part of her plan to get even with Klaus, with which she would like Kol's assistance.

Hayley and Ansel rescued Oliver from the witches and werewolves, not knowing that they had hexed him with a curse that would kill him by midnight. However, before he died a bloody death, he insisted to Jackson that, as their Alpha, he needs to get off his ass and help his people, because they weren't meant to be slaves to witches like Esther and Finn. As part of her scheme to convince Elijah to take her offer, she took him captive and proceeded to knock down the "red door" enchantment that she cast that allowed Elijah to repress his more heinous acts in his life, including killing Tatia right after he turned. Think of it like the equivalent of Sam Winchester's hell-wall, and now Elijah's getting mad flashbacks to his past while he's stuck in a magically-induced unconscious sleep. While on his way to rescue his brother, Klaus ran into his biological father, Ansel, who Esther resurrected to give Klaus the father he never had, as well as further motivation to take her deal and become mortal again in a new body. Klaus finally managed to rescue Elijah from Esther, but has had no luck in waking him now that he's at home and resting safely in the compound. Which is where we pick up today!

We begin this episode in Elijah's unconscious mind as he continues the magically-induced coma in which his clearly loving mother put him. He's dreaming that he and Klaus are children and are running through the woods of what is now Mystic Falls. Bb!Elijah, who is chasing Bb!Klaus, is probably twelve or thirteen at this point, and Klaus is maybe eight or nine as he rushes away from his older brother as fast as he can. "You cannot catch me, Elijah!" Bb!Klaus crows, but Bb!Elijah just laughs and insists that while he may be getting faster, he's still not fast enough to catch him, yet. Bb!Klaus just giggles and continues his sprint through the forest, but after a moment, he vanishes completely, leaving a very confused Bb!Elijah in a clearing, frantically looking around for his little brother. Bb!Elijah calls out for Bb!Klaus, but he gets no response, and when he starts looking around again, he hears an older, deeper voice reply, "There you are." It's present-day Elijah, whose face and suit are splattered with blood. He approaches his younger self, who is freaking the fuck out at this point, and places a hand on the back of Bb!Elijah's head so he can stare him in the eyes. "Do you understand?" Adult!Elijah asks calmly. "One day, only a monster shall remain." This is the last straw for Bb!Elijah, who grabs his hatchet from his waist and swings it at his older self. Adult!Elijah dodges the first swing, but after a moment, Bb!Elijah manages to swing it and embed it into his shoulder.

In the real world, Elijah is laying on his bed in the compound, still asleep as he was when Klaus first brought him back, though someone, probably Klaus, was kind enough to change him out of his bloody suit and into a white tshirt and sweatpants. I love me some Elijah in a suit, because we all know he wears the shit out of them, but I would loooove to see him in casual wear more often. I think maybe one time that we saw him wearing a henley and dark jeans, and he looked super fine. Anyway, I'm guessing this is the same night as when they found him, probably early in the morning, Elijah is breathing erratically, covered in sweat, and seems so genuinely afraid that his muscles are practically spasming from how tense he is. Klaus, who is watching his brother in concern, leans over so he can speak into his brother's ear, and as he talks, his words echo through his brain and into his dreams, where Adult!Elijah has pulled the hatchet out of his shoulder and is now holding it up menacingly at his baby self, though Bb!Elijah runs away before he can catch him. "I know you are locked in battle, however deep in your mind our mother has set the stage," Klaus says quietly. I really enjoy how much Klaus really knows Esther and how she works-- she may have been dead for 99% of the time since Klaus first killed her, but he hasn't forgotten how she operates.

Anyway, Elijah twitches anxiously in his sleep, and Klaus continues on in a low voice, "Our mother thinks she will win because she has left you alone, but you are NOT alone. Let me in." Klaus places his left hand on Elijah's chest and his right hand on Elijah's temple and takes advantage of Elijah's weakness to try to use his vampire telepathy to get inside his mind. "Let me help end whatever torment she has forced upon you," Klaus pleads, but Elijah's body reacts to this mental intrusion by seizing so hard that his back arches painfully. Klaus manages to get some glimpses of what's going on inside Elijah's head in flashes, but the power necessary to do so causes Klaus' nose to bleed. Despite this, he musters up all the energy he can to break through, but Hayley chooses right then to walk into the room and is so alarmed that she rips Klaus off of him. When she confusedly asks him what the hell he's doing, Klaus wipes the blood from his nose and catches his breath before explaining that he was trying to get into Elijah's mind to wake him up, but Esther anticipated that and locked him out. Hayley walks over to Elijah and looks at him with concern, but frowns when she notices what looks like a flower-petal-shaped wound on the side of his neck.

"Is this rash a side effect of the witchy acid-trip he's on?" Hayley asks, but this seems to trigger something in Klaus' memory, because he walks to Hayley's side to see what she's talking about. He admits he hasn't seen this kind of wound since he was a child. Apparently, back in the day, Mikael would come home after a Viking battle and would be even more aggro and terrible than usual, so Esther would use the petals of a rare flower called a merlock orchid to put him in a magical sleep for a couple days while she used her mojo to chill his brain out. Then, she'd wake him up using the roots of the same plant and he'd back to his usual asshole-levels. The good news is, if Esther has access to the flowers, then they probably grow in the Bayou, so Klaus decides that he's gonna go out there to find them and instructs Hayley to stay with Elijah and the wolves and hold down the compound in the meantime. "I'd rather rip your mother's head off," Hayley growls in response, but Klaus demands that she stay the fuck away from her.

"She already got to you once," Klaus argues. "What would happen if Elijah were to wake and find you a victim of her madness?" Uh, I think we all know what would happen-- Elijah would go into a Klaus-style massacre-mode and kill anyone with even a hint of a connection to Esther before killing her himself. After a moment, Hayley reluctantly promises that he won't go after her, and when Klaus seems satisfied that she's telling the truth, he leaves to go find those orchids. Once Klaus is out of earshot, Hayley turns to Elijah and sits at his bedside to whisper to him. "I've learned a few things from your mother," she states. "I won't go after her. I'll go after everything she loves." AWWW YESSSSSS, HAYLEY! You know what this means-- the gang is going after her minion-sons! TITLE CARD!

It's barely sunrise now, and Jackson is at the lake in the Bayou as he prepares Oliver's body for his funeral. He wraps Oliver up in a white sheet and pours alcohol all over him before he places him in a small wooden boat. Jackson takes a long drag of whiskey from the bottle before he kicks the boat into the water, lighting it and Oliver on fire to give him a traditional Viking funeral. Some time later, Hayley finds Jackson sitting on the dock and drinking the whiskey as Oliver's body lays smoking on the lake. "I'm so sorry, Jack," Hayley murmurs, but Jackson has been keeping down his anger too long, apparently, because he hops to his feet and starts to yell. "This is bull, Hayley! Crescent tradition says you have a funeral at dawn, and no one is here!"

Hayley is speechless, because what is there she can say to make it better? Jackson seems to agree with me, and insists that the loyalty to the pack is gone, but Hayley knows better-- she has all the sympathy in the world for him because of Oliver's loss, because he was her pack, too, despite everything that he did, but right now, this is bigger than just his death. "We're standing around moping over Ollie's body when there's a war to be fought," Hayley begins softly. "I understand you have to grieve, Jack. You waited for me, so I'll do the same for you. But, our people need their Alpha." She gently takes the whiskey bottle out of his hands and squeezes his shoulder comfortingly before she leaves him to mourn, and Jackson just looks so wrecked that it seriously breaks my heart, UGHHH. Who knew I was gonna end up being attached to Oliver? I sure didn't, that's for sure.

Next thing we know, Hayley and Aiden are showing up at Marcel's loft, where he asks them where their Alpha is instead of greeting them. Hayley sighs and admits that Jackson is unavailable, so Marcel snarkily remarks, "So you brought Junior Varsity? You know, I'm getting a little tired of you using my place as a den for wayward wolves." Hayley's hilarious response? "Well, it was just that we were going to, uh, take down Finn Mikaelson today, and considering how he treated your vampires, I assumed you would want in on the bloodbath." Gods, I love Marcel and Hayley's friendship/snarky banter. It gives me so much life! And, in this case, Hayley assumed correctly, because Marcel is totally interested in getting some vigilante justice against Klaus' asshole brother. He informs Hayley that he's listening, so Hayley and Aiden sit down on the couch across from him so Aiden can give him the scoop.

He explains that it's not going to be easy, since Finn still has control over most of the moonlight-ring-enhanced werewolves, who basically act as his bodyguards despite the fact that he's a powerful witch in his own right, and as far as they can tell, he doesn't really have a weakness. Of course, Marcel starts to smile as he pulls out his phone and informs them that Finn DOES, in fact, have a weakness, who he just so happens to have on speed dial. When Aiden and Hayley just stare at him in confusion, Marcel adds that Finn has a huge crush on Cami. Hayley is quite understandably, like, "Uhhh, Klaus will literally murder us all if we let Cami get involved in this," but Marcel reminds her that Klaus is off flower-hunting, plus Cami is not a huge fan of being bossed around, as we well know. "I trust you, of all people, understand," Marcel quips with a smirk as he waits for Cami to answer the phone, and Hayley chuckles, because she's exactly the same.

Speaking of Cami, she's in Finncent's office at whatever college she is attending, where the two of them are having another therapy session. I'm pretty sure I've brought this up already, but I'm gonna ask again-- where did Finn get all the psychology knowledge necessary to convincingly play a real-life therapist? If what Cami said in the previous episode is true, Vincent Griffith isn't actually a therapist himself, and even if he was, magical possession doesn't allow the possessor to get into the minds of the people they're possessing, as far as I know, anyway, otherwise Esther, Klaus, Katherine, and everyone else who has ever possessed someone would have had a lot easier time fooling everyone. So, did Finn audit some psych classes in his time on the Other Side before it was destroyed? (Let's be real, if I were a ghost on the Other Side, I would totally do that, too, when I wasn't too busy eavesdropping on my loved ones.) I just don't understand how he was able to fool someone as smart as Cami for so long, I guess. WHATEVER, MOVING ON.

So, Cami's talking about Klaus, natch, while Finn absentmindedly doodles magical sigils into his little notebook as we enter the conversation in media res. "He hasn't called. He thinks he's protecting me, but... I don't think I WANT to be protected. Truth be told, I don't think I want to be around him anymore at all." Cami is a fantastic actress, to be honest, and I'm very much impressed with her poker face-- Finn might be horrible, but he's no dummy, so the fact that she seems to be playing him so easily speaks volumes about Cami's skills. Anyway, Finn declares this to be great progress, and Cami smiles at him before she anxiously looks down at the floor, which doesn't go unnoticed by him. He asks her what's on her mind, so Cami hesitantly and nervously broaches the topic of her finding another adviser. Finn is both confused and hurt, and asks her if she's not finding their sessions productive, but as we know, that's not what she means. "No! No, that's not it," Cami replies nervously. "You're--you're really getting to know me. I just... I wanna get to know you, too."

Finn is absolutely stunned by this confession, but he smiles, clearly pleased, as the two smile at each other for a moment. Cami plays it amazingly by acting as though she thinks he's not interested, and apologizes for being "mortifyingly unprofessional" before she picks up her purse and rushes toward the door as she blushes in embarrassment. She's just about to leave the office when Finn jumps to his feet and stops her. "Uh, Camille!" he calls out as Cami turns to face him. "Do you enjoy jazz?" In response, Cami just smiles brightly, and Finn begins to blush as well. You know, I've made it pretty clear that I don't like Finn for obvious reasons, but it is really nice to see him actually showing some real romantic feelings for once, you know? Like, he did apparently love Sage so much back in the 11th century that he turned her into a vampire despite his hatred of being one/vampires in general, but we barely got to see any of it before they both died, so seeing him openly crushing on Cami is a nice change of pace. And Cami is a total catch, so I don't blame him a bit for liking her, because I would totally want to date Cami, too. She's smart and brave and loyal and so adorable, I looooove her and I wish the fandom loved her more, too.

Time to check up on Davina, who we haven't seen in TOO LONG, in my opinion. She's in some skeevy motel somewhere, and is looking into a broken mirror as she casts a spell using representational magic. "Veretres en un sondre, veretres en un sondre," she chants under her breath, which causes the mirror to begin repairing itself by fusing the cracked pieces back together. Of course, that's when Kol swaggers on out of the bathroom, having just showered and put on a clean pair of jeans and a button-up shirt that he hasn't bothered to button. Damn, it has been way too long since television has had the honor of showing us shirtless Daniel Sharman, and they didn't disappoint. Thank you, JP! Kol watches Davina cast the spell as he slowly walks in her direction until he's standing directly behind her so he can whisper in her ear, "Still at it?" Davina somehow didn't see him coming, despite the fact that she's standing in front of a huge-ass mirror, and his words startle her so much that she jumps and stops chanting, causing the mirror to return to its previously cracked state.

"I'm trying to repair the damage that you did to my de-linking spell!" Davina shouts in frustration, which only elicits an "Oh" from Kol. He notices the indestructible white oak stake laying on the dresser and stares at it with interest, but Davina snatches it away before he can touch it. "The only reason I'm still shacked up in this dump motel with you is for your freaky witch-encyclopedia brain," Davina adds, which makes Kol laugh. He brings up what he calls a "magical secret from the ancient Romani psychics," which is apparently SLEEP, since Davina hasn't slept a wink since they've been there. but Davina understandably is having a hard time closing her eyes with the ancient former-Original-vampire-possessing-an-innocent-witch sleeping in the next bed. Kol scoffs and tells her she's making him out to be a creeper, which he totally is, but he's a cute one, so I have a feeling Davina will end up growing to like it. For now, though, Davina is getting impatient, and eventually just loses her temper all together and demands that he stop it. "Stop what, darling?" Kol asks innocently, even though he knows full well what she means. "Calling me 'darling,' and trying to be funny--" Davina rants, before getting distracted by the glory that is Daniel Sharman's bare torso. "And THAT," she adds lamely, as she gestures to Kol's body.

Kol just smirks widely, because he loves knowing that he's getting to Davina, before smugging that most girls like his arrogant personality and staggering good looks and remarking that Davina is obviously not like most girls. Davina is totally frustrated and starts packing up her things as she tells him what she'd like best is for him to stop screwing around, which hits Kol right where his tiny, shriveled heart lives, so he walks over to her and stops her. "Okay, Davina," he begins with a sigh. "Alright. I have been trying to charm you, and, your resistance is as impressive as it is baffling. But, there are things that we can do. BIG things." When Davina looks at him warily in disbelief, Kol gets to the point of this speech-- basically, he can't share his secrets with her unless they trust each other. "I don't CARE about your secrets, Kaleb. Kol." She groans, getting flustered, and adds, "I don't even know what to call you!"

He calmly responds that he can call her Kol Mikaelson, and explains that if she's still interested in taking down Klaus without hurting/killing her friends in the process, then she'd be stupid to not listen to what he has to say. Of course, before he can go into detail about his idea, Kol starts to groan in agony and falls to his knees, cradling his right arm in his left. Davina looks alarmed as she rushes over to see if he's okay, and when Kol looks down at his hurt arm, he finds that his name symbols have been burned into the flesh of his forearm in the Norse Runic alphabet (kaunaz, othila, and laguz) (edited to add: actually, upon closer inspection, they're actually the Norse Runes algiz, laguz, and a rune that sort of looks like a backwards peorth) next to the shape of a triskelion, which anyone who knows anything about Teen Wolf or Celtic mythology/folklore has seen before. When Davina worriedly asks him what is happening to him, Kol grimaces in pain and admits that his "Mother Dearest" is calling him home.

Speaking of Esther, she's still in Lenore's body, where she's continuing to scheme with Finncent in the lycée. She has the remnants of a spell set up at the table, where she's written Kol's name in Runic and drawn a triskelion into a pile of sand in front of a lit candle. Finn smirks and remarks that she always did know how to leave a message, which causes Esther to smirk smugly in response. "If only ALL my sons were as respectful as you are," she replies. "Kol will return home soon. Elijah will wake from his slumber believing the only way to salvage his humanity is to rejoin our family." Uhhh, I wouldn't be so sure about that, Essie. Finn nods in agreement until she adds that it's time for him to bring in Cami in to see her. Finn doesn't seem to be thrilled with this plan as Esther hands him a small bundle of herbs and informs him that he should use it to subdue her without causing bodily harm to her. "I thought we had more time," Finn responds hesitantly, but Esther insists that they don't, because once Ansel has thoroughly influenced Klaus to be "reborn" as a werewolf, they'll need to act quickly for whatever malevolent purpose they have for poor Cami. Finn shakes his head and gives her back the bundle of herbs she just gave him and assures her that he can get Cami without it. OH GODS, I DON'T LIKE THIS. Nobody hurts Cami! Doing so just about guarantees that Klaus will kill your ass.

Out in the Bayou, Klaus is wandering around in the woods as he searches for the flowers needed to awaken Elijah from his magical sleep. As he walks around, a man stands several yards away, watching him with a blade in his hand. Of course, it's totally Ansel, who is not-so-subtly stalking his biological son, and since Klaus is an all-powerful hybrid and whatnot, it took him no time whatsoever to sense his presence and vamp-speed over to him so he can pin his dear old dad against a tree. "Stop following me!" Klaus growls aggressively. "I have no intention of taking Esther's bargain, and no desire to be remade a mortal being. Now, kindly piss off. I'm in a hurry to help my REAL family." Ouch! Harsh toke, dude. Klaus is about to stomp away when Ansel states the obvious by pointing out that Klaus is looking for merlock orchids. Naturally, Klaus becomes even more suspicious than usual and asks him how the fuck he knows that, but Ansel insists that he saw Klaus carrying Elijah back to the compound the previous evening and put the pieces together. "Who do you think used to find the orchid for your mother to put Mikael to sleep?" Ansel asks with an amused smile on his face. "Without my help, you could search forever." 

Nicely played, Ansel! Unfortunately for him, Klaus may be a huge paranoid with a persecution complex, but he's not an idiot, so he reminds his father that Esther brought him back from the dead for a reason, and it probably wasn't so they could play "a father-son game of hide and seek" before he starts walking in the opposite direction to continue his search. Ansel just shrugs and states that if Klaus wants to be a stubborn jerk who storms away instead of taking his help, that's fine, but that he should probably do so toward the west. BAHAHAHA. Oh, I already love Ansel, because anyone with the stones to call Klaus out on his bullshit is amazing in my book. Of course, the fact that I love him so much means he's totally a goner, which is a bummer, but I'm just going to enjoy his presence while I still can.

Meanwhile, Davina and Kol are on the road, where Davina has somehow managed to convince him to allow her to drive his precious car. Kol continues to cradle his injured arm and wince in pain whenever the bumpy road jostles it, and after a moment, he gets bored by Davina's favorite classical music on the radio and uses his magic to change it to blues instead. Davina laughs, but instead of indulging him, she simply hits the button to turn off the radio completely. "You have any fun with magic, or is it all angst and child sacrifice with you lot?" Kol asks, which BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That is so hilarious. Bless Daniel Sharman and Julie Plec for making Kol so damn enjoyable this go-round. Davina just giggles and brings up the fact that Kol was a witch before he was a vampire, which leads him to confirm that all the Mikaelson children were indeed witches. YES! I had been hoping this was the case. Apparently, though, Kol was the only one out of all of the siblings (excluding Freya, of course, though I don't know if Kol knows about her or not) to actually tap into their power and practice it before they were all turned into vampires, which is so weird to me, because who in their right mind WOULDN'T utilize their magic if they had it? ESPECIALLY since they were descended from Esther and Dahlia's line, which means they all would have been very powerful in their own right. What weirdos.

"I was a bit of a child prodigy!" Kol not-so-humble-brags, emphasizing my point. "I loved it. I loved the power, I loved the rush... and then, when we turned, I lost it all. Went through a bit of a dark phase." Davina is hilariously all, "Ah, yes, your thousand-year-long dark phase?" but Kol insists that he's a thrill-seeker, and when he couldn't get those thrills from magic, he ended up, you know, eating entire tenement buildings with Klaus, breaking the hands of small-town quarterbacks, and attempting to chop off the arms of supernatural vampire hunters. Kol then explains that he spent much of his millennia-long life traveling around the world and meeting different groups of witches, from whom he learned a shitload about magic, which he was able to teach to them as well. This explains a LOT about Kol's presence on TVD, but it also serves to plant the seeds in Davina's brain in hopes of convincing her to help him with his secret plan. Still, despite the fact that Kol clearly has his own agenda that has nothing to do with his mother's, I wholeheartedly believe that not only does he have genuine romantic feelings for Davina, he also has her best interests at heart, to the point that he's trying to work around Esther's orders to ensure that Davina will, for the most part, stay out of harm's way.

Anyway, Davina asks if his immense knowledge of witchcraft is why his mother brought him back as a witch and not a vampire, but Kol claims that it's really only because she thought Kaleb (or rather, his body/magical abilities) was best suited for the task he was given. Michael Narducci, the executive story editor for The Originals and a writer for The Vampire Diaries, said on Twitter that Esther specifically chose a less powerful witch for Kol to possess than she did for herself and Finn because she knew that he would be harder to control if he had access to the same amount of power as they did; judging by Kol's extensive knowledge of both common and obscure schools of magic and his general "looking-out-for-#1" attitude, I have a feeling she was probably not wrong about that suspicion.

I know a lot of people don't take what the writers say as canon unless it's stated in the show, but I feel like this is totally something Esther would do, and would make a lot of sense when you consider how little magic we've actually seen him do since his resurrection-- without his vampire strength, speed, healing, and compulsion, and with less magical force than his mother and brother, he mostly has to depend on his charms and ability to talk himself out of anything to keep himself safe. So, headcanon accepted! But, I digress AGAIN. Anyway, Davina can't believe that Esther seriously sent him to the French Quarter to flirt with him, but Kol, feigning offense, retorts that Esther only sent him to spy on her, and the flirting and subsequent crush he developed on her was all him. Davina giggles adorably, and after a moment, Kol smiles at her and flicks his fingers, turning the radio back on to Davina's classical station. Awww, I am seriously so obsessed with their relationship, they are PERFECT.

Back at Marcel's loft, Aiden, Hayley, Josh, and Marcel are continuing to outline their plan with regards to taking down Finncent. Aiden has procured a map of the Quarter, and is pointing out various landmarks as he makes his pitch. Apparently, Finn asked Cami to meet him at Preservation Hall, but he'll be accompanied by a handful of moonlight-ring-clad werewolf bodyguards who will be stationed at two points on either end of the building. Marcel tells them he'll be out in the alley in the back, and Hayley states that she'll just wait inside and rip Finn/Vincent's head off once he walks in. Surprisingly, Marcel, who just seven episodes ago happily chopped off the hands and ripped off the arms of a bunch of werewolves to snatch their rings, says they need to exercise caution and reminds Hayley that she can't kill Finn, since he'll just hop into another body like his mother did. Before Hayley can protest against Marcel murder-cockblocking her, Cami swans into the apartment with a box in her hands and insists that Finn's head will stay on, since it'll be a little difficult for them to interrogate him without it. She sets the box on the table, and everyone starts looking through it. "Sweet! It's a big box of dusty old junk!" Josh crows. "We're saved!" JOSH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. NEVER, EVER, EVER DIE.

Aiden, clearly smitten with our fair Joshua, tries and fails to hide his smile at this joke while Cami explains that she's come bearing relevant gifts. As it turns out, she's been organizing and cataloging everything that Kieran left for her in that secret apartment of his, and as far as she can tell, the dark objects she brought are specifically meant to be used against witches. Marcel pulls out a gnarly-looking pair of black wrought-iron shackles with a long chain connecting them, and Hayley giggles and blurts out, "Kinky!" which gets a laugh out of everyone. Fortunately, they have Marcel, a nearly 200 year old vampire who, like all vampires, has an excellent memory when it comes to historical events, to give them the deets on what he remembers about them. He explains that a hundred years ago, the Human Faction waged war against some people who are vaguely referred to as "the Voodoo Queens," and they had a witch traitor enchant the manacles so that they can be used to restrain witches by preventing them from practicing any kind of magic while they're wearing them.

Sounds pretty handy for their current predicament, don't you think? The others seem to think so, but Josh has some doubts about this plan. "Alright, we're not gonna get the 'Handcuffs of Doom' on him while he's surrounded by a werewolf entourage," he remarks, leading Aiden to volunteer to lure Finn away from his bodyguards somehow. Hayley turns to Cami with concern and points out that if they're really going with this plan, then she's going to be the bait, and wants to make sure one last time that Cami is really up for such a task. Aw, I need Hayley to be close girlfriends with Cami already! With Rebekah out of town and Davina incommunicado, Hayley could really use some good girlfriends. Make it happen, Plec! The rest of the gang stares at Cami with worry as they await her answer, and honestly, Cami looks pretty nervous, too, but she just shakes it off and nods in confirmation. "Make it look convincing," Cami replies. "The guy's really smart." Awwww yiss, PLAN IS A GO.

Time to check in on the father-son flower-picking time, yeah? Klaus is still wandering around the deeper, more remote areas of the Bayou while Ansel follows behind him. "A thousand years estranged, and you choose to walk in silence?" Ansel asks skeptically. "Surely you have questions." Klaus sighs and petulantly retorts that he has only one question-- "Is there a way to cure Elijah without having to listen to the pointless ramblings of an old man?" Ansel remains calm and collected and smiles as he replies that the price of his botanical expertise is for them to have a conversation. He pats Klaus affectionately on the back and cuts in front of him so he can lead him farther into the woods, and Klaus reluctantly decides to start talking.

KLAUS: "You know, I used to tell myself that me real father must have had no idea I existed. Otherwise, he never leave me to suffer under Mikael."

ANSEL: [guilty] "Esther forbade me from seeing you. So, I waited, knowing that one day, you would trigger your curse and need your real father. When that happened, Mikael found me first. I fought him for YOU."

KLAUS: [bitterly] "Well, your grand declaration is just a few years too late."

ANSEL: "Now, you joke, but I know you've always felt a void in your life. I've watched you from beyond for centuries. You've traveled all corners of the world, seen monuments erected, feasted on the blood of the history's most extraordinary men, but you've never found true peace. The only moments of joy in your life, however fleeting, have been simple pleasures. As you climbed the Himalayas, as you tended to your horses. Quiet days, teaching that boy Shakespeare--"

KLAUS: [overwhelmed] "--Stop--"

ANSEL: "--I watched you paint. I watched you feel your unborn daughter's kick--"

OH GODS, OH GODS. Ansel is so great that Klaus literally cannot handle it, and so he grabs his bio dad in a choke-hold and bellows, "I said, STOP!" He calms down slightly and continues on. "A millennium of observing me-- were your eyes closed as I slaughtered whole villages? Fed my way through thousands of innocents? Because, let's face it-- I have a tendency to play with my food." Ansel stares at him silently as Klaus moves closer to him until they are nearly nose-to-nose. "Have I made you proud, Father?" Klaus is totally upset now, and angrily shoves past Ansel to continue looking through the orchids, leaving a heartbroken Ansel behind. YIKES! Man, can you imagine if Klaus had been raised by Ansel instead of Mikael? Even as a hybrid, Klaus probably would have been more like Jackson, or like Hayley is now, where they are not afraid to kill to protect or avenge their loved ones, but not actual psychopathic monsters. It's likely that Ansel had sons of his own, since we know his line survived long enough for Cary, Klaus' distant relative, to exist, plus I feel as though Ansel would have tried harder to claim Klaus if he didn't have children, or only had daughters, given the Viking culture and all.

Over at Lafayette Cemetery, Kol has just returned to the lycée, where a very unhappy Esther is waiting for him. Kol immediately rushes to a nearby shelf and grabs a jar full of herbal poultice for his still-scabby after Esther's message spell. "Remind me to teach you how to send a text message," Kol grumbles in annoyance, but Esther wants to get straight to business. "You were told to get the white oak stake DAYS ago. We need it NOW... seeing as your father has risen." Kol stupidly feigns surprise and is all, "Mikael is back from the dead?" but we already know that Klaus ratted Kol out to Esther in the last episode. She basically tells him to shut his fucking mouth and demands to know why he kept such a major secret from her. She initially assumes it was to protect Davina, but Kol claims that he was just trying to protect her own plan, since Davina will never trust him if she thinks he's just Esther's minion who he reports to every time Davina says a word to him. Esther still seems suspicious, but after Kol assures her that he has it handled, Esther reluctantly snuffs out a nearby lit candle, which breaks the message spell and causes the burned Runic symbols to vanish from his skin without so much as a scar. "I want that stake!" Esther emphasizes as she heads for the door. "And I don't care what you have to do to get it!" She walks out of the lycée's greenhouse, and Kol sees an athame laying on the table, which he picks up and looks at curiously as his brain starts to hatch a plan.

Back in the Bayou, Ansel has just led Klaus to a large tree, where hundreds of merlock orchid plants are growing in the branches, like mistletoe in an oak tree. Of course, since getting the ingredient necessary to awaken Elijah can't be THAT easy, Klaus realizes when he starts to approach the tree that it's surrounded by vervain plants. "Vervain," Klaus spits angrily. "It's everywhere. My relentless mother has set a trap." Ansel smiles calmly and assures his son that he'll retrieve it for him, but naturally, Klaus is concerned about what it will cost him. This seems to be what it takes for Ansel to even briefly lose his temper, and he flings his knife into the ground beside him in frustration before walking over to Klaus to look him in the eyes.

He tells Klaus to use his vampire abilities to confirm his motives are pure by searching his mind and proving that he's not Esther's puppet. Klaus is a big baby about it, though, and claims he has no interest in seeing inside his mind, so Ansel presses his buttons by saying that he's surprised and disappointed by Klaus' cowardice. When Klaus gives him a look, Ansel adds, "While you stand here in fear of me, your brother suffers further." Klaus may be a paranoid ass, but he has a major soft spot where his loved ones are concerned, and especially Elijah, so after a moment of considering his options, Klaus swallows his pride and asks his father to gather the orchids for him. Aw, Klaus! That's progress! ...Which will totally be undone by the end of the episode, but whatever.

We cut back to the cemetery, where Kol has left the lycée and is waiting for Davina in front of a mausoleum. He's seated on the ground and leaning against the crypt while he examines the athame he stole from his mother when Davina finally approaches him. When she asks him what Esther wanted, Kol sighs and replies, "She wants me to take that stake out of your bag and give it to her so that you can't kill Klaus before she gets her big, happy family." Davina starts to look a little suspicious when she asks him if that's why he called her to have her meet him there, but Kol is almost hurt by this question. "I'm not my mother's puppet!" he exclaims as he rises to his feet, the dagger still in his hand. "I want something different entirely. I want your blood." Davina is totally unnerved now, and she backs away from him nervously, but Kol immediately holds his hands up in a non-threatening manner and assures her that he's not planning on taking it from her, he is simply asking her nicely for it. "Sure, I'll just bleed for you with no explanation at all," Davina snarks in response, which makes Kol laugh before he gets into the details of why he brought her to this crypt specifically.

"About a hundred years ago, this tomb used to be my playhouse," Kol begins. "The witches I used to run with, we used to make all kinds of magic in here. That is, until I pissed the prettiest one off, as I tend to do, and she locked me out." Davina is confused about what this has to do with her blood, so Kol drops the bomb that the witch who locked him out was named Mary-Alice Claire, meaning she was Davina's ancestor, which makes Davina sigh exasperatedly when she realizes where he's going with this-- only a Claire witch can open the tomb. Kol turns the dagger around in his hand and gives it to her, handle-end first, with a pleading look in her eye. Davina thinks about it for a moment before presumably cutting her hand or finger and bleeding on the door, because the next thing we know, the two are inside the playhouse, which is crammed to the brim with extremely old books, spell ingredients, magical objects and artifacts, and other early-20th century gadgets.

Davina is completely in awe at the sight of it and asks him where he got everything, but as you could probably guess, he stole it. "Well, I was a vampire!" he replies with a laugh. "I could get anything I wanted. I couldn't practice witchcraft, so I charmed some witches and I taught them a new kind of magic that I learned in Arabia called Kemiya. We made items that allowed me to use magic without DOING magic." Davina makes the connection just as Kol starts pulling a box off of a nearby shelf-- Kol taught the witches how to make dark objects. Did any of you guys watch The Originals: The Awakening webseries? It was three, two-ish minute mini-episodes of Kol and his antics in 1914 New Orleans, which were put on the CW website in conjunction this episode, which is the seventh episode this season, to the ninth episode and midseason finale, "The Map of Moments." So, in case you didn't see them, I'll spoil you on the details-- the majority of the dark objects we've seen in this series so far, like the Devil's Star, the Needle of Sorrows, the bracelet Davina used to enslave Mikael, the cursed shackles Cami brought to Marcel's, and all the other unknown dark objects still in Kieran's apartment, are all items that Mary-Alice Claire and Astrid Bon Chance made together with Kemiya under Kol's instruction.

So, Kol goes on to say that at one point, the objects were scattered all over the city, and concedes that since he's been gone for quite a while, he can't for the life of him figure out where they are, forcing Davina to maintain her poker face as to not give away the fact that she has an idea of where the majority of them are-- with her BFF Cami in the secret apartment she was bequeathed by her priest uncle. Anyway, Kol's point is that he still has the one dark object that matters, and when Davina asks what it is, he pulls an item out of a box that will be very familiar-- a silver, white-oak-ash dagger, made by the witch who created the Brotherhood of the Five order of vampire hunters in 1100 and stolen, along with at least four others, by Klaus to use to temporarily neutralize his siblings whenever they annoyed him over the centuries that followed.

"It's not about what it is, it's about what it COULD be," Kol explains. "You want to take down Klaus, right? I've wanted one thing for YEARS-- to drive a dagger into his heart, like he's done to me so many times." Davina states the obvious and reminds him that the daggers don't work on Klaus because of his werewolf heritage, but Kol just praises her for her smarts and puts the dagger back in its box before stating that with a little practice on their magical skills, they can make the dagger work on Klaus and then use it on him. "We'll put him in a box. But, seeing as he won't be entirely dead, your friends will be safe." Davina seems super interested in this idea, as you can imagine, especially since it means that Marcel and Josh can stay alive, and she won't have to feel bad about the hundreds of thousands of vampires who are likely connected to Klaus' sire line. So, when Kol asks her if she's in, she gives him a wry smile.

At Preservation Hall, a jazz band is playing loudly on stage, and Cami is dancing along to the music as she watches them play. After a moment, Finncent joins her with a beer in each hand, one of which he hands to her. Cami thanks him for the drink and remarks about how good the band is, leading Finn to reply that he developed an appreciation for jazz music after he moved to New Orleans. I have a hard time believing this, because Finn and his motivations are just so fucking boring that he doesn't seem like someone who would enjoy anything, honestly. And I hate saying that because the actor who plays Finn/Vincent, Yusuf Gatewood, is AMAZING and so ridiculously talented, but the character truly is as dull as the other Mikaelsons constantly describe him. ANYWAY, Finn takes a drink of his beer and makes a face, which Cami totally notices. "I see you're still developing your taste for beer!" Cami jokes, which gets a laugh and a shrug out of Finn before she continues on. "My mom said beer wasn't ladylike, so I learned to love it as an act of rebellion. What about you? Snobby mom? Distant dad?" Believe it or not, Finn is actually a little more open with Cami this time than she was on their first date in the previous episode. "Well, my mother and I are quite close," Finn admits. "She made so many sacrifices for us. Now, anything she asks seems negligible in comparison."

Cami smiles at him happily, but their conversation is interrupted by Cami's ringing phone. When she checks it, she immediately apologizes and claims that she has to take the call because it's her friend, who generously covered her shift so she could hang out with him. She hands him her beer and asks him to hold onto it while she's gone and insists she'll be right back before setting her purse on the nearby table and walking toward the entrance to get away from the noisy crowd. Of course, Finn the creeper keeps her in his eye-line at all times from where he's still standing near the stage, but after a moment, a man who is walking across the concert all blocks his view. It's only for a second, but that was apparently all the time necessary for Cami to be snatched out right from under his nose. When he realizes she's vanished, he immediately gets worried and rushes outside to see if he can find her. Once he's outside, he hears Cami screaming from nearby and rushes into the alley where she is laying flat on her back on the pavement while a hooded person is bent over and feeding on her.

"HEY!" Finn bellows at the top of his voice, and the hooded figure stands to reveal their gold werewolf-eyes for one single beat before jumping onto the roof of the building and scampering away. Understandably, Finn is more concerned about Cami than catching the werewolf attacker, so he runs over to make sure she's okay. Cami is breathing heavily to the point that she's practically hyperventilating, and she's clearly weakened by the blood loss. A sharp whistle is heard from the roof, where the werewolf from earlier has reappeared to get Finn's attention, and a split-second later, when Finn is trying to discern who the wolf attacker is, someone else whooshes over and zoops Cami away with them, leaving a confused and furious Finn in the alley. OH SHIT! This is some flawless team-work, to be honest.

In the Bayou, Klaus and Ansel have set up a campfire, and are sitting quietly across from each other. While they sit, Ansel uses his shortsword to make a paste out of the merlock orchid roots, which he wraps up in a handkerchief. Klaus remarks that he's always seen a blade used in a very different way, which makes Ansel chuckle. "Mikael taught you to kill, Klaus," he replies. "But you were born to create! Power lies in embracing your true nature." Klaus guesses that Ansel is trying to say that he thinks Klaus should take Esther's offer by sacrificing his vampirism. "And then what?" he asks snarkily. "Become a florist?" Ansel just smiles and reminds him that he wouldn't be sacrificing anything, because as a wolf, he'd be king to an entire species, which hits Klaus right where he lives. Ansel totally has his number.

Anyway, when Ansel tells him as a werewolf, he'll feel at true peace and would be a better father, Klaus' face goes cold, and he growls, "I am no longer a father." Of course, Ansel's got a story for this, too. "In our animal form, we feel everything more acutely. When you were a boy, after each full moon, I would wake closer to your village, having been drawn there in the night. Since I've been back, each month when I turn, I wake further from New Orleans. I know the call to my own blood, Klaus." Klaus immediately stops what he's doing and gapes at his father, afraid of what he's about to say next. "I know your child is alive." OH SHIT. Klaus just glares at him in such an intense manner that it's 100% clear that Ansel's days are totally numbered.

Meanwhile, Finn has gone back to his office, where he's sitting on his couch in front of a coffee table full of locator spell ingredients while he talks on the phone with Aiden.. "IT WAS A WOLF BITE!" Finn bellows furiously, before asking Aiden who broke rank. Aiden assures him he'll beat it out of his guys if he has to, but Finn just replies that he'll know Cami's location shortly enough, and orders Aiden to meet him alone when he's figured it out, since the rest of the wolves can't be trusted. When Finn hangs up on him, the camera cuts back to Aiden, revealing that he's at St. Anne's Church with Josh, Hayley, who was the hoodie-clad werewolf who attacked Cami, and Cami herself.

The girls are sitting at the sacristy while Cami holds her bleeding neck, and Aiden assures them that Finn bought their play and will be led here after he does a locator spell on Cami. Hayley bites her wrist and drips her blood into a golden communion cup, and Cami hilariously snarks, "I always thought having a woman's mouth on my neck would be more erotic." Oh my gods, does this mean Cami's bisexual? I'm going to just continue believing she is until I'm told otherwise, because I want SO MANY MORE BISEXUAL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ON TV PLZ. Sorry, I'll step off of my bisexual-advocate soap-box now. Hayley just laughs at Cami's adorableness and hands her the cup of blood to drink, promising her that it'll help her heal quickly.

While the girls talk, Josh and Aiden walk over to the other side of the room for some privacy. Aiden remarks that they're totally going to hell for what they're planning, but Josh, being a creature of the damned and all, just shrugs and tells him he'll get used to it, which makes Aiden laugh. "Hey, I know this isn't your ideal Friday night. I'm sure you'd rather be, like, doing push-ups, or drinking beers with your bros, or something..." Oh, Josh, you adorable newborn baby. Aiden just smiles and tells him it's not so bad, and UGH, Josh and Aiden are the cutest fucking kids everrrr. Over at the sacristy, Cami asks Hayley to walk her through the plan one last time, mostly for our benefit.

"Aiden's gonna get Vincent to the altar, and then I'm gonna jump him," Hayley explains patiently. "He's powerful, though, so we only have a few seconds to get the shackles on him." When Cami asks where Marcel is in this genius plan of theirs, Hayley informs her that he's out looking for Davina, because he heard rumors from his contacts that she's back in town. "Overprotective dad stuff?" Cami asks, because she knows Marcel as well as anyone, but Hayley just rolls her eyes and snarks, "If you want to call ripping Kol Mikaelson into a thousand little pieces 'overprotective dad stuff,' then yeah, that's it." BAHAHAHA. Oh, Marcel, the stereotypical older brother/father figure who threatens and/or actually beats the shit out of their little sister/daughter figure's boyfriends. The thought of it makes Cami laugh as she blots at the blood on her neck.

Back at Lafayette Cemetery, Kol and Davina are still at his playhouse, which I think might be the Claire tomb, but who knows. They're continuing to go through all of the stuff Kol amassed over the years when Kol snaps his fingers and magically causes the nearby gramophone player to start playing classical music, which makes Davina smile before be begins to explain his plan. "The hunters who forged the original daggers to take out my family didn't know that Klaus was part-werewolf-- not vulnerable to silver," Kol begins, as Davina picks up the dagger Kol has out. He takes it out of her hand and holds it up before he continues. "Now, it's impossible to replicate the spell cast on the dagger. Trust me, I've tried. BUT, it's NOT impossible to change the dagger itself. Kemiya allows witches to destroy one element to create another. Say, changing silver to gold, for example." Davina just chuckles and asks him if he really has just been hanging around her because he didn't have enough power on his own, but Kol swears that's not the case-- according to him, Kemiya is about chemistry and connection. Fun fact-- the word "Kemiya" is actually the Arabic word for "chemistry," and it's basically like alchemy. So, Kol brings up the fact that they were able to depower the white oak stake together in "Red Door," and claims that because of that feat, she can't deny that they have some major romantic AND magical chemistry going on.

He then holds out his hand, which holds a huge square-cut diamond, and tells her to hold hands with him. Davina steps toward him and points out that it's a huge diamond, so he reveals that it's actually a paragon diamond, which are used in Kemiya to conduct power. When Davina asks if the hand-holding is actually required to do the spell, Kol just shrugs and deadpans, "I mean, we could make out, but then that'd be entirely distracting." DANIEL SHARMAN, PLEASE STAY KOL FOREVER. (I know this is totally not going to happen, since he totally got a lead role on a new CBS medical drama, but a girl can dream.) Anyway, so Davina does as she was asked and clasps his hand with her own, and Kol tells her to follow his lead as picks up a hemp rope with his free hand and holds it out to her so she can take the other end.

Then, he starts to chant an incantation, and after a moment, Davina starts to repeat the words. Once the spell is underway, Kol gently lets go of the hand that is holding the diamond and instead grips her elbow, and the contact with her skin causes the rope they're holding in their other hands to burst into flame, though they don't notice it right away, because they're too busy eye-fucking each other. It takes them a couple of seconds of oogling each other before they both end up dropping the hemp to keep it from singing their hands.When the burning strand falls to the ground, the flames die out, leaving a long strand of real white-gold, which is woven into a glossy rope, in its place. Kol picks it up off the floor and wraps it around her wrist, tying the ends in a knot before stating, "To replace the one I broke." Kol, you smooth motherfucker! Davina is completely in awe and whispers that they changed it, but Kol just looks at her with a wide smile and replies, "Well, Davina Claire, we're going to change everything."

Over in the Bayou, Ansel has just finished chopping up the roots of the orchids in a handkerchief, and he hands it to Klaus and assures him that it will allow him to wake Elijah up. Ansel turns, as though he's about to leave, but Klaus stops him and starts what is probably the most heartbreaking conversation of the episode.

KLAUS: "Ansel? I'd be lying if I said your offer wasn't appealing. I've never known a parent to be a benevolent force. I think I would have liked to have been your son. But, a different path was chosen for me, and I have, for one thousand years, been son of Mikael. Paranoid. Vengeful. And powerful enough to protect my daughter."

ANSEL: [places a hand on Klaus' neck affectionately] "I want to help you defend her!"

KLAUS: [near tears] "I believe you. But, love is what Esther twists. She will take the best of your intentions and use them to get to my little girl." [He takes Ansel's hand in his own and squeezes it] "You waited too long before you came to rescue me." [He brushes past Ansel, but then stops in his tracks] "I won't make the same mistake with Hope."

Klaus picks up Ansel's blade from the ground and turns toward his father, who looks both confused and hurt by this turn of events. "No," Ansel stammers as Klaus walks toward him. "No, Klaus. I KNOW you. You are NOT capable of this." Klaus is about ready to cry now, and replies, "That's the first lie you've told me" before giving Ansel one last sad look. Ansel looks betrayed yet resigned to his fate, and after a moment, Klaus takes the blade and slices Ansel's chest open in the blink of an eye with the blade. Ansel gasps and staggers forward as he tries to draw a breath, and an absolutely horrified Klaus catches him before he falls to the ground and lowers him down slowly. Ansel looks devastated, but still reaches out and caresses Klaus' cheek one last time before he dies. Klaus becomes so overwhelmed that he cries for one brief moment, but he quickly swallows his grief and disgust at himself for what he's just done and gets ready to leave. GODS, THAT IS STILL SO HORRIBLE. I've seen this episode several times by this point and I'm still not prepared for it whatsoever. I really wish Ansel would have been able to stick around, but I have a hard time blaming Klaus for wanting to protect Hope-- with both Mikael and Esther still out there, you never know what nasty tricks they're going to pull to get to him.

Back at Kol's playhouse, for lack of a better name to call it, Davina is laying on a futon on the other end of the room and points out that it's getting late and she should probably go home. Of course, the fact that she actually curls up on the futon and gets comfortable seems to suggest that she's not going anywhere, but I can hardly blame her for wanting to stick around. Kol assumes she'll want to head back to Marcel's for the night, but Davina replies that since she lied to Marcel about hanging out with him, so she's probably going to go back to the attic at St. Anne's instead. "Voluntarily returning to the jail cell where they locked you up?" Kol asks, before walking across the room and sitting next to where she's laying on the couch. "You must have been lonely, all that time. A witch needs a coven, even if it is just two." And these two make up the cutest baby-coven ever. Davina is excited to be making magic with him (and also is clearly developing a crush on him), so she asks when they can work on the dagger again. Kol assures her that they'll make it soon, but first, they've got some practicing to do. He takes Davina's jean jacket and uses it to cover her up before quipping, "You're gonna like me, Davina Claire. I'm happy to let you pretend a while that you don't already." GODS, WHY ARE THESE KIDS SO DAMN CUTE? It kills me!

Finncent has just caught up with Aiden outside of St. Anne's Church, where Aiden lies and claims that the werewolf who went after Cami was a friend of Oliver's who wanted to avenge his death. When Finn asks where Cami is, Aiden explains that he saw Cami tied up near the altar, and suggests that Finn make a bee-line for her while he takes out the others. He's about to turn to go when Finn stops him, because unfortunately for him, Finn is not nearly as much of an idiot as they hoped. "Aiden?" Finn asks. "Your brother was among the recruits that Oliver rescued, was he not?" Aiden, not expecting this response, just gapes speechlessly, which is really all the answer Finn needs. Next thing we know, he's telekinetically throwing Aiden into the front doors of the church. He slides down the aisle between the pews toward the sacristy. Josh sees his boyf all sprawled on the floor and vamp-speeds over to check on him, not noticing that Finn is making his way down the aisle and using pyrokinesis to light all the candles in the church to boost his power. When Josh finally realizes that they've been made, he gets into a defensive position and prepares for a fight, but Finn simply flicks his wrist and snaps his neck with his powers. NOOO, NOBODY HURTS JOSH.

Finn, having neutralized everyone he can find, starts stalking down the aisle and shouting for Cami, but instead of a sassy blonde human, he gets a mega-pissed lady-hybrid, who tackles him to the ground. "First, I'm gonna kick your ass," Hayley sneers, as Finn desperately tries to crawl away from her. "Then, I'm going to take my pack pack!" Finn just laughs and points out that the last time he checked, her pack was blindly following him, so Hayley snits, "You wanna talk about following? How do your mother's boots taste?" before straight-up kicking him right in the face. YES, FINISH HIM, GIRL. When Finn asks where Cami is, Hayley just laughs and shrugs as though they aren't friends, which leads Finn to telekinetically throw her backwards to give him time to rise to his feet. "Hybrids die by losing their head or their heart," he explains. "And, given the choice, I'm going to take the organ that got you into this mess in the first place." He chants unintelligibly and makes a fist with his hand as he stomps toward her, and Hayley starts to gasp as a big blood stain starts to form on her shirt where Finn is attempting to remove her heart with magic. Just when it looks as though our female protagonist is about to be dunzo, an arrow flies out of nowhere and pierces Finn's shoulder from behind. YESS! TEAMWORK.

Finncent forgets about Hayley for the moment and turns to find Jackson has appeared on the on the church's balcony! Jackson jumps down onto the ground level and shoots another arrow that hits him in the back of the leg as he's trying to crawl away from him, giving Cami just enough time to rush over and slap the magic-proof manacles onto his wrists. He looks SUPER betrayed when he sees that Cami has been working with them the whole time (which was totally his mistake for underestimating Cami's dedication to her friends AND her smarts) and tries to cast a spell on her, but, of course, he can't do magic with those shackles on his wrists, much to his horror. "You would have done the SAME thing to me, Finn," Cami retorts as a completely stunned Finn stares at his hands and tries to figure out just how badly he fucked this plan up. Down the aisle, Hayley is still gasping and recovering from Finn nearly ripping her heart out, and Jackson rushes over to check on her and make sure she's okay. "Are you okay?" Jackson asks, as he brushes a lock of hair off of Hayley's head with his hand. "I'm sorry I made you wait." Hayley just smiles at him and assures him that his timing was actually pretty perfect. She sighs and laughs in relief that she didn't actually die on this day, and Jackson, thrilled to be back in the thick of it where he belongs, laughs as well. YAYY! Happy endings all around! This is what I like to see.

Back at the Mikaelson compound, Klaus has finally returned home, and he immediately heads to Elijah's bedroom to use the poultice Ansel made to wake his favorite brother up from his magical coma. In voiceover, Klaus speaks to Elijah and rubs the potion on Elijah's neck wound while we see the continuation of Elijah's dream. "We were innocent once, Elijah," Klaus' voice whispers quietly, as it echoes around in Elijah's mind. Bb!Elijah is still running around in the forest in hopes of alluding Adult!Elijah, but stops in the middle of a clearing and falls to his knees, clearly exhausted. "This bloodlust was forced upon us by our parents, turning us from prey to predator." The blood-spattered Adult!Elijah continues to stare at Bb!Elijah until suddenly, Adult!Klaus appears out of nowhere and grips Bb!Elijah's shoulder soothingly.

"We are the savage villains in fairy tales taught to children. But, not for my child. Not for Hope. In her stories, we are knights in shining armor. Without you by my side, I don't think I can survive my own love for my daughter. I need you. I need you, brother. The monster in me can only be challenged by the monster in you." In Elijah's dream, Klaus' voice echoes, "By the monster in you." Finally, Klaus finishes his speech. "Only together can we fight our demons and save our family." In Elijah's dream, Klaus hands Bb!Elijah a stake before he leaves, knowing that, in the end, it's up to Elijah to save himself. Thunder and lightning crashes overhead, and the feral Adult!Elijah lunges for his younger self, not anticipating that Bb!Elijah will yell at the top of his lungs and stake his monstrous older self in the heart. This is what was finally needed to cause Elijah to awaken with a gasp in his bed in the real world. Both Klaus and Elijah are shocked at this revelation, but after a long moment, Klaus smiles happily at his brother. FINALLLLLLLY! I have been waiting for Elijah to come back what feels like FOREVER.

At St. Anne's Church, Jackson is at the front of the room, where he's lighting those small votive candles, likely in memory of Oliver and his family. Hayley comes up shortly afterward and informs him that they've got the shackled Finn in the back of Josh's car, and when Jackson asks if Aiden is alright, Hayley assures him that some ice and bourbon will get him back into fighting form in no time. She hesitates for a moment before asking him how he was able to find them, which makes Jackson smile bashfully. "I spent a lot of time tracking you when I was a wolf. Call it animal instinct." I know my Hayley/Klaus and Elijah/Hayley leanings have been discussed at length on this blog, but is it bad that I really love Hayley/Jackson, too? Jackson is just such a sweet, well-meaning guy, and I feel like he would be really good for her. TOO MANY SHIPS TO HANDLE. Jackson is about to leave when Hayley stops him, and Jackson sighs before making a confession.

JACKSON: "Oh, Ollie used to give me so much hell for waiting on you. Girls came and went... I always knew you would come. See, our parents had been so sure that you and I could change things for the better."

HAYLEY: [laughs sympathetically] "Jack, the girl that you were waiting on was Andréa Labonair, mythic revolutionary. You got Hayley Marshall, a knocked-up tomboy with a bad attitude. You got dealt a crappy hand."

JACKSON: "Yeah, you're right-- you're not the girl I waited for..."

Jackson walks toward her until the two of them are nearly nose-to-nose before adding, "You're better." GODS, WHY IS HE SO SWEET AND NICE AND ADORABLE? Damn those Crescent werewolves worming their way into my icy-cold heart. I'm loving them. Can the entire cast of characters just be in one polyamorous cuddle-puddle? I think I would really like that.

Over at the compound, Elijah is wasting no time getting back into the swing of things, and is in the middle of getting dressed in his usual suit and tie (despite the fact that it's night time, now, so there seems to be little reason to be getting dressed at all) when Klaus comes into see him. He's holding a leather-bound journal in his hands and looks as though he wants to say something, but he remains silent for several long moments before Elijah finally bites the bullet and asks him what's up. "I spent the day with my father," Klaus confesses quietly. "My real father." This seems to surprise Elijah a lot, since he has missed quite a bit in the time he spent as Esther's prisoner. Klaus explains that Esther brought him back to life in hopes of Ansel convincing him to renounce his vampirism for good, and he looks very, very conflicted as he walks closer to his brother. "The thought of what I could be, had I been raised by him. Had I been nurtured..."

He hands Elijah the journal and informs him that it was Ansel's, and when he opens it, he finds a perfect sketch of Klaus from when he was a child, showing that Ansel clearly cared for his son deeply despite Esther's insistence that he not claim Klaus as his own. Could it be that Klaus is actually feeling REMORSE over killing him? I highly doubt he'd do things differently if he could, since Hope is still-- and will forever be-- Klaus' number one priority, but that doesn't mean he can't be upset that it had to end that way. "He knew about Hope," Klaus continues, which once again shocks Elijah into speechlessness. "I wanted to trust him more than anything in the world. I- I wanted to, but..." He sighs deeply, tears filling his eyes. "I couldn't be sure. And, I would never forgive myself if something happened to her because of my selfish desire for a father. So, I killed him. Without hesitation. I KILLED him." Elijah, who has been silent and pensive this entire time, pauses for a moment before reminding him that he killed him for Hope, which is totally justified, as far as he's concerned-- this isn't just another case of Klaus impulsively murdering someone for no reason. "And, whatever innocence remains, we must protect at all costs," Elijah adds, before putting a hand on the back of Klaus' head and rubbing it comfortingly as Klaus starts to cry. UGHHHH, my brother-feels are off the damn charts this week.

Time for the closing montage! We begin at Lafayette Cemetery, where Esther returns to the crypt where she was holding Elijah hostage, only to find that Klaus had strung up Ansel's dead and bloodied body on a hook in the middle of the lit-candle-filled room. She gasps in horror and devastation and falls back against the wall before sliding down onto the floor and sobbing at the top of her lungs. Aw, I don't much like Esther, but I was intrigued about the details she shared with Klaus regarding how she came to love him, and I was hoping we could have learned or seen more of their relationship back in the 10th/11th century and what they were like around each other.

Meanwhile, Kol is carrying Davina, who is passed the fuck out, up to the room in the attic of St. Anne's Church. He settles her in on her bed and looks at her affectionately before noticing that the indestructible white oak stake is poking out of her open purse. He looks as though he's about to snatch it, but before he can, he senses a presence behind him. When he turns, he sees Marcel standing in the doorway and glaring at him. Oooooh, shit!

At the compound, Elijah has finished getting dressed, and fixes his tie while he looks at himself in the mirror. When he goes to button up his jacket, he notices that his hands are trembling pretty severely, and he takes a deep breath to steady himself. He leans against his dresser for a moment and wipes his sweaty brow, unable to stop himself from being transported into a flashback of when he killed Tatia in the 11th century and brought her corpse to Esther's "red door" to beg for her help. OH SHIT, In recaps past, I have compared Elijah, his personality, and his behavior, to Stefan Salvatore from TVD, which is weird, because I have a very love-hate relationship with Stefan, whereas I love Elijah wholeheartedly. Still, this reaction to all of his memories of killing innocent people reminds me a lot of the PTSD-like reaction Stefan had to having all of his memories, particularly those from when he was locked in a safe underwater and left to drown for four months, returned to him by Qetsiyah in Season 5. The shakiness, the flashbacks, and, as well see in the next episode, the unwarranted bouts of violence, are very similar to what Stefan suffered before and after he killed Silas.

Back at St. Anne's Church, Davina has just awakened in her bed in the attic, and when she spots the gold bracelet that she made with Kol on her wrist, she smiles as she touches it. However, after a moment, she realizes that she's totally home and doesn't remember getting there, which causes her to jolt into a sitting position as she looks around the room. Kol and Marcel are nowhere to be seen, and when she sees her open bag laying next to her on the bed, she realizes that the white oak stake is gone as well and immediately begins to freak out. YIKES! No es bueno en absoluto.

At Rousseau's, Cami is unwinding from her day of scheming with her supernatural pals by drinking a large tumblr of scotch at the bar. She isn't really in the mood for company, either, so when she hears someone entering the bar, she doesn't even look up from her drink when she calls out, "Sorry, we're closed!" Unfortunately for her, her visitor is Esther, which means she is in MAJOR trouble. "That's too bad," Esther remarks. "I hear you serve the best sazerac in town!" Cami finally looks over to see who is speaking to her, and she immediately rises to her feet and backs away from her in fear. "Camille, right?" Esther asks. "My sons have taken quite the liking to you!" She thrusts her hand toward Cami, which is holding the bundle of herbs that she spelled and tried to give to Finn earlier, which causes Cami to gasp loudly as Esther sneers at her. NOOOOOOOOO.

We return to the compound for one last scene: Elijah is standing on the balcony overlooking the French Quarter while Klaus leans against a chair in Elijah's room and asks him how he feels. Elijah assures him that the worst part of the spell has past, but he admits that he guesses the nightmares won't be going anywhere anytime soon. "Well, gather your strength," Klaus replies casually. "After the message I sent Mother tonight, I expect hellfire to rain upon us imminently." Elijah looks very concerned as he approaches Klaus and insists that they need to make a move before she can strike back, but fortunately for him, Marcel and Hayley have just arrived to help, as though they knew that was exactly what he was going to say.

"Well, actually, moves were made while you were sleeping," Marcel replies with a smirk, and Hayley smiles when she sees Elijah. "It's good to see you vertical!" she says sweetly, before adding, "Marcel and I each left a gift for you in the ballroom." Klaus just looks at her in curiosity and confusion, but Hayley just laughs and replies, "You're welcome?" Klaus looks at Elijah before the two brothers walk out the door, and when they pass Marcel, he whispers, "You're welcome," as well. Gods, I truly love the makeshift family that Elijah, Klaus, Marcel, and Hayley have created. It would be way better with Rebekah and Hope (and Kol) in the mix as well, but beggars can't be choosy, and they'll show up when they're ready. ANYWAY, the four make their way downstairs to the ballroom, where they find both Finn and Kol suspended by their wrists on the railing of each staircase, each of them shackled with the magic-proof manacles. Klaus and Elijah look like Christmas came early for them, though Kol and Finn are not so pleased. "Kidnapping?" Kol asks exasperatedly. "That's a rather unpleasant way to begin a family reunion!" Klaus just grins widely and retorts, "Well, wait until you see how we end it!" DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN.

Next episode: Klaus and Marcel work on convincing Kol and Finn to turn on Esther and join their side instead, while Elijah, who is still dealing with the after-effects of Esther's torture, rushes to Rebekah's aid when she (and, by proxy, Hope) are found by Esther's magic. Also, Hayley and Jackson work together to try to find a way to get their pack out from under Finn's control, and try to convince the rest of the Crescents to accept Jackson as their Alpha again.

[screencaps, as always, from Screencapped]

NOTES:
- Here's the music from this week's episode!

"Poor Man's Son" by Noah Gundersen 
---Jackson gives Oliver a Viking funeral, and Hayley arrives to the Bayou to check on him.

"Suonata à solo facto per Monsieur Pisendel in A Major, RV 29: II. Alegro" by Adrian Chandler & La Serenissima 
---Davina and Kol listen to the radio in Kol's car while they drive back to the French Quarter.

"Crazy About That Walk" by John Lee Walker
---Kol changes the radio with magic, but Davina turns it off.

"Sweet Annabelle" by Morrie Morrison Orchestra 
---Kol turns on a record on a gramophone player with magic at his playhouse while he teaches Davina about Kemiya.

"That's It!" by Preservation Hall Jazz Band 
---Cami and Finn have drinks at Preservation Hall and talk about their families.

"Near Light" by Ólafur Arnalds 
---Klaus treats Elijah with the merlock orchid poultice and connects with his mind to wake him up.

"Devil Inside (INX Cover)" by London Grammar 
---Klaus confesses to Elijah that he killed Ansel; Esther finds Ansel's body in the crypt at Lafayette Cemetery; Davina awakens to find Kol and the stake gone; Esther confronts Cami at Rousseau's.