The Originals Season 2, Episode 5: "Red Door" Recap/Review

I know pretty much every introduction to my recaps of The Originals ultimately turns into me talking about how amazing this season is going and how impressed by all the characters I am, but SERIOUSLY, THIS SEASON IS SO AMAZING AND THE CHARACTERS ARE SO GREAT. In "Red Door," we got to see Elijah's interactions with his mother, and got a LOT of insight into how he became known for being noble, impeccably dressed, and nearly always in control. And, the best part about all of these insights is that we 1) got flashbacks to the late 10th century/early 11th century Mystic Falls, which is always great-- the costuming is perfect and OG Esther is always delightful, and 2) WE FINALLY GET TO MEET TATIA. We first heard about Tatia in Season 3 of The Vampire Diaries, when Klaus mentioned her to Stefan and Damon to remark on "the allure of the Petrova doppelgänger." Tatia was a great love of both Klaus and Elijah, not unlike Stefan and Damon's love triangles with both Katherine and Elena, and, as usual, Nina Dobrev excelled at making Tatia a nuanced character who is both similar and completely different from all of the different iterations of Elena, Katherine, and Amara we have seen on TVD, which I'll get into more in the actual recap.

Another highlight of this episode was the continued alliance between the vampires and the werewolves, thanks in great part of Hayley acting as a liaison between the two factions due to being both a vampire AND a werewolf. So, while Klaus is off trying to find Cami, Hayley, Marcel, and Gia are off trying to find Elijah, and unbeknownst to either of them, Davina and Kol are working to help them out as well. Basically, it was just another well-done episode that I am excited to talk about in detail, so let's just hop to it, yeah?

Previously, on The Originals: New Orleans was the Mikaelsons' (including Hayley) home once, and they want it back. Esther managed to bring herself back from ancestral witch limbo by possessing the body of a witch named Cassie, and stuck her previously deceased sons Finn and Kol back as well, in the bodies of witches named Vincent and Kaleb. Finn and Esther attended a hellish dinner at the compound with Elijah and Klaus, while Kol worked on wooing and spying on Davina (though he's begun to take his job a little TOO seriously, if I'm being honest.) Esther body-jumped into another witch named Lenore's meatsuit and confronted Hayley with her proposition for Klaus, Elijah, and herself-- she wants to reunite their family by putting them in mortal bodies so they can have more children and not be sullied by the ~curse~ of vampirism that she created any longer.

Also, speaking of resurrected family members, Davina managed to bring Mikael back from the dead in all his Original vampire glory (though under the control of Davina's Bracelet of Obedience), so the Mikaelson kids are fighting a war on two fronts where their parents are concerned. Knowing that, at present, Mikael is the bigger threat, he confronted Mikael at Davina's family's old cabin. Davina got knocked out in all the commotion, so Mikael took advantage of the break and forced "Kaleb" to de-spell Davina's bracelet so he could be free of his control and finally kill Klaus, and since Kol didn't really feel like dying at his father's hands, he did complied. With Mikael free, he went outside to greet his bastard step-son, where they had a MAJOR throwdown that resulted in Klaus nearly getting staked to death and Mikael getting stabbed in the heart with Papa Tunde's Blade of Agonizing Torment. Unfortunately, Klaus underestimated Mikael's willpower and left him alone in the back of his trunk, where Mikael managed to pull the blade out of his own chest! Oh, and Elijah tried to kill Finn, but ended up getting regular-staked and captured by his mother, who took him and chained him up in a tomb at Lafayette Cemetery. Which, now that we're caught up, is where we pick up today!

This episode begins more or less right where "Live & Let Die" left off. We start off in a dream sequence-- or, rather, a nightmare sequence. A girl with long, wavy brown hair is frantically running down a long hallway toward a red door at the end. She's wearing a long, white dress and is visibly frightened as she flees from Elijah, who is shirtless and covered in blood from his mouth down his chest. Once the girl makes it to the end of the hall, she starts desperately pulling on the doorknob and pounding on the door to try to get to safety, but her effort is fruitless. Elijah ultimately ends up catching up with her, and when she turns to see him, we see that the girl is Hayley, who screams in fright and continues pounding on the door. Elijah grabs her by the arm and turns her to face him, but it's no longer Hayley-- it's Tatia! He tugs on her long hair and turns her head so that he can feed on her before he starts vamping-out and chowing down on her neck despite her pained cries of protest.

Suddenly, Elijah awakens in confusion to find he's still suspended by chains around his wrists in one of the tombs at the cemetery. He summons all of his strength and yanks on the chains as hard as he can to try to break free, but they remain intact. He then notices his mother sitting in the corner, calmly sipping a cup of tea and looking at him in amusement. "Have you forgotten where you are, son?" she asks. "Save your strength. My chains don't break so easily." She points above his head, where she's hung an enchanted poppet made of straw that seems to be magically strengthening the chains so they can't be broken. She then asks him if he was having sweet dreams, and though Elijah tries to lunge for her, the chains prevent him from doing so. He growls at her to get out of his head, but Esther insists that she isn't-- she heard him screaming while he was asleep. She tells him to take a moment to regain his bearings, because they have a lot of things to talk about. TITLE CARD!

After the credits, Esther returns to the crypt to continue her talk with her son. "Who were you dreaming about ripping apart when you woke earlier?" she asks, clearly relishing in this. "Was it your new little plaything, Hayley? Or, was it someone else?" Once again, Elijah lunges at her without thinking, but it does nothing but continue to amuse her. She insists that he stop fighting, because she brought him here so he could listen to what she has to say, and she has no intention of letting him go until she's said her piece. When Elijah orders her to speak it, then, Esther reiterates the deal she laid out for Hayley in "Every Mother's Son." "I want you to rejoin our family, but as a witch. I want you to leave behind the grotesque savage vampirism has made of you. Take the body of a mortal, and we can ALL be happy again. Start over."

I don't want any of the remaining Originals to become mortals, but the idea of Elijah, Klaus, and Rebekah being witches is pretty appealing, to be honest. I'm not sure I would mind them temporarily becoming witches and using all of the magical knowledge they've learned over the years to protect themselves before being returned to their original bodies. Elijah doesn't agree with me, though, and just sneers, "You do know you're entirely demented, don't you?" Esther just laughs, though, and retorts, "Am I? I'm not the one who pull the wings off of every beautiful butterfly that he finds." Elijah continues to attempt to break through his chains, but when Esther adds, "Like the woman who flits across the edge of your nightmare," he lets his full vampire face out and growls at him to let her go. Naturally, Esther is completely unfazed by this display, since she knows she holds all the power here, and she simply remarks on how quickly Elijah is able to embrace his more savage side. This hits Elijah where it hurts, and he lets his fangs and eye-veins recede, looking distraught and a tiny bit embarrassed-- which is, of course, exactly the reaction Esther is trying to get from him.

"The moral son I raised is now but a MASK worn to hide ancient demons." Elijah insists that she doesn't know shit about him (only much more eloquently than my vulgar ass can paraphrase), but Esther assures him that he is wrong about this. "I know more about the secret you carry than you do," she begins. "Shall I list them? I can begin with the first little butterfly you destroyed." Elijah's face goes pale, but this does nothing to dissuade Esther from her speech. "The sweet young widow from our village who caught your eye when you were still human." When Elijah shifts uncomfortably, Esther smiles. "Ah, you remember her. Of course. How could you forget the first girl to ever steal your heart? She of mystical blood, the doppelgänger." Elijah numbly insists that he did nothing but love Tatia until Esther killed her for her blood, but Esther just continues to smile serenely and acknowledges that while she knows that's what he's believed for centuries, this is the reason why she brought him here this day. She picks up a candle from a nearby table and holds it in front of Elijah's face. "I need to show you the monster you really are. When I do, you will beg me for salvation. And happily, I shall provide it." She casts a spell on the candle, which transports them both into a flashback to the early 11th century* Mystic Falls.

*SIDEBAR: I reeeeeeally wish they'd give us some actual dates about the Mikaelsons' early life so I could at least have a rough estimate as to when these flashbacks take place. All I really have as a reference point is something that comes up in the next episode. SPOILER ALERT (DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEXT EPISODE; SCROLL TO THE END OF THE PARAGRAPH)-- we will be told in the next episode that Esther and Mikael, who were born in/lived in what was known as the Kingdom of Norway, had been trying to have their first child for a year as of 972 AD, when the first flashbacks take place. I'm going to guess that their first child was conceived and born sometime between 972 and early 974, followed quickly by Finn, who I think was a year or so younger than the eldest? (I seriously thought for a long time that the first-born and Finn were twins, but apparently I was mistaken?) I think Finn would probably be three or four years older than Elijah, who was likely born in Norway shortly before the family moved to the New World (because according to the flashbacks, Esther was pregnant with Elijah when they lost their first-born), so if the first child was born in 973-974, then Finn could have been born in 974-975, and then Elijah would have born around 977-978. I'm going to assume that Esther and Mikael would have waited until Elijah was born before they moved to the New World after losing the eldest child, since having a baby on a Viking ship would probably be ridiculously complicated, so they probably would have left around 979-980, though we have no idea how long that journey would have taken them. From there, I'm making more assumptions/educated guesses on the age of the Mikaelsons when they were turned into vampires (Finn ~29-30, Elijah ~27-29, Klaus ~23-26, Kol ~18-21, and Rebekah ~15-17), which leads me to believe that these flashbacks, which took place in the days preceding and following when they were turned into vampires, would likely take place somewhere in the ballpark of 1004-1007 AD, making it the very beginning of the 11th century? But don't quote me on that, because math is not my strong suit whatsoever.

ANNNNYWAY, in the flashback, a celebration is underway in their village. Meat is being cooked over bonfires, and the villagers are milling around the fires, all dressed in masks as they dance and laugh and chatter with each other. Lenore/Esther narrates in voiceover (which will be bolded) as OG Esther and human!Elijah stand off to the side and watch as human!Klaus and Tatia, who is wearing a gorgeous forest green dress and a matching mask, dance closely around the fire. "It was Samhain, when we danced and killed the best of our livestock to appease the gods for a new season," Esther narrates to Elijah as they experience the flashback together. Tatia lifts her mask up so she could smile at Elijah, before Klaus quickly grabs her by the arm and spins her toward him so they can continue dancing. "All women envied her. All men wanted her. But, she only had eyes for one." Klaus kisses Tatia while Elijah watches from the sidelines. Unable to watch them be so lovey-dovey with each other, Elijah leaves to go walk by the animal pens. Meanwhile, Klaus continues dancing with Tatia, but when she realizes Elijah is no longer watching her, she stops.

Elijah is kneeling by a pig pen, affectionately petting one of the pigs and feeding it a handful of grain, when Tatia joins him. She jokingly asks him if he has come to the pens to save the pig, whose name is Loki, from his fate, but Elijah just smiles weakly and replies that he knows that Loki's fate is to become food for them all. "Just as you are fated to love another," Elijah adds, trying not to sound bitter and kind of failing at it. Tatia smiles at him and retorts, "And you? Fated to watch from the shadows? The noble martyr?" Elijah stares at her silently, looking disappointed, so Tatia begins to pace around him as she gives us a little background information about herself. "Fate does not dictate my heart, Elijah. I was fated to throw myself on a pyre after my husband died in battle, but I did not. I chose to live. And, I chose to give my heart once more. To someone strong, protective, fierce, and yet noble, and gentle." 

She gently caresses his face with both of her hands and looks straight into his eyes as she adds, "I choose you, Elijah." Wow, sound familiar, much? Katherine choosing Stefan over Damon, Elena choosing Stefan over Damon, and then choosing Damon over Stefan? I am loving all of these parallels, tbh. Elijah, exhilarated by this admission, leans in to kiss Tatia, but she giggles and pulls away. "And you choose to have our first kiss where your mother slaughters the pigs?" She and Elijah both laugh and smile, but before Tatia can say that it's not very romantic, he gently grabs the back of her head and pulls her closer to him so they can kiss passionately. When they pull away, Elijah is literally exploding with joy, and he whispers, "Perhaps we should set Loki the pig free? It seems on's fate can change, after all."

The two begin to make out again in flashback, but in the present day, Esther blows out the candle, pulling Elijah out of this memory and returning him to the real world, where his mother is pretty much emotionally torturing him to get him to do what she wants. "But, that was just the beginning," Esther continues on dramatically. "A brief moment of happiness. That is how it ALWAYS begins. A butterfly lands upon your finger, unaware that it will lead to her tragic end." Elijah angrily reminds her that Tatia's tragic end came when Esther killed her to drain her of her blood. "All for a spell to smother the wolf within Niklaus, if my memory serves," Elijah adds. Esther just shakes her head though, and informs him that his memory doesn't actually serve him at all, and that though he doesn't understand it yet, he WILL by the time they're done with whatever other torture she's got planned for him. She gently holds Elijah's head in her hands so she can look him in the eye, but he jerks out of her grip and glares at her angrily.

Meanwhile, Cami and Koleb are checking on Davina in the study of the Claire cabin, where she's still laying unconscious from when she was knocked out after Klaus tossed a wooden staff through the window like a javelin. Klaus watches them work from the doorway, the indestructible white oak stake still gripped in his hand. Cami worries aloud that Davina should be taken to the hospital to be looked at, and Kol, who's still pretending like he's just some twenty-something witch and not a millennium-old former Original vampire, notices Klaus standing nearby and can't help but poke the bear a little bit. "Oh, hello, darling. Back to huff and puff and blow the house down?" Wow, he didn't even TRY to not sound like Kol, did he? I have to assume that Daniel Sharman has been watching a lot of The Vampire Diaries and The Originals, because his work as Kol is spot-on-- he is really great about getting the inflections and snarky swagger of Nate Buzolic's Kol perfectly correct.

Klaus isn't amused, though, and makes a comment about how a person's sharp tongue can slit their throat, blah blah blah, but Cami just cuts him off and reminds him that "Kaleb" is just a kid and needs to be given a break. "Yeah, she's right!" Kol interjects, "You know, you may want to try a bit of lavender under your pillow. Does wonders for stuck-up pillocks with anger issues." Cami, annoyed and frustrated, turns to Kol and tells him to shut the fuck up already, but Klaus points out that while he promised Cami that he wouldn't kill Davina, he made no such promise about "this insolent sod." Kol just smirks at him. and Cami, seeing that a confrontation is brewing, gets up and leads Klaus onto the porch so she can give him a little talking-to. Once they're away from Kol and Davina, Cami reminds her friend that he totally had the opportunity to stake and kill Mikael, but he didn't, and uses this as her reasoning that he won't be killing "this kid" either. After a moment, Klaus sighs and agrees not to kill Koleb, and hands over the stake and the keys to her so she can go get the car to prepare to take Davina to the hospital. Cami smiles and thanks him before doing as she's told, while Klaus returns to the cabin to talk to the young English chap sitting at Davina's side. Both Joseph Morgan and Daniel Sharman's acting in this scene is SO PERFECT, between the dialogue and their body language. Gods, never ever EVER take Daniel Sharman off of my television, plz and thx.

KLAUS: "You've got a way with words."
KOL: "Well, I've traveled!"
KLAUS: "You seem to have crossed continents in order to weasel your way into Davina's good graces, thereby meddling in my family business. Strange, isn't it? Unless it's YOUR family business. You know, ever since my mother and Finn, I was wondering when you might make an appearance, Kol."
KOL: [smiles and bows dramatically] "Then the jig is up! Hello, brother."
KLAUS: [rolls his eyes] "It's not that I begrudge you hitching a ride back to the land of the living. It's just that you're making all the wrong friends, brother. And I have half a mind to show you how wrong you are."
KOL: [whispers] "But you're not going to do that, are you? Because your little blonde friend told you to leave me alone. I'm curious, does she take one of those little baggies out when she takes you for a walk?"
KLAUS: [raises his voice to call out for Cami] "Cami? I changed my mind. I AM going to kill him after all."

Of course, Cami doesn't respond, which makes Kol smirk and which makes Klaus understandably nervous. He calls out for her again, and when he gets no answer, he rushes outside to his car. The driver's side door is open, and the window is smeared with blood, which does NOT bode well for our favorite blonde therapist. When he rushes around to the trunk, he finds that door open as well, and Mikael and his blade are gone, along with the white oak stake Klaus handed over to Cami. Well, SHIT.

After the break, we return to Klaus pacing around the front yard while he (futilely) leaves Elijah a panicked voicemail. "Elijah, where are you? Mikael is loose with the stake, and Cami is a hostage, and I am WEAPONLESS and in need of reinforcement. Urgently." He angrily hangs up and returns to the cabin, where Kol is reclining in a rocking chair and looking calm as can be. Klaus orders him to wake Davina and force Mikael to come back, but naturally, Kol isn't really keen to listen to him. He instead suggests that Klaus get going on tracking Mikael down, since he's guessing that after being stabbed with Tunde's blade, he's probably jonesing for a midnight snack, and he'd hate for Klaus to find Cami a "bloodless husk." Klaus, begrudgingly realizing that his brother is right, furiously assures him that they're not done yet before he takes off in search of his favorite human. Once he's vamp-sped away, Kol gets up and puts a pillow behind Davina's head as she sleeps before affectionately smoothing a lock of her hair behind her ear. "It'd be really useful if you woke up about now. I kicked a few familial hornets' nests, and we really need to scarper."

He's interrupted from his cute little speech to Davina by his phone ringing, but when he sees it's Finn, he silences and goes back to gazing at Davina's precious face. But, since it's Finn, who is a humorless dick, he casts a spell that gives Kol a bloody nose, and when he wipes the blood off of his lip, his phone rings again, forcing him to go out on the porch to answer it. He asks Finn if that was actually necessary, but Finn just shows his age by replying, "I despise voicemail," before asking him if he managed to get the white oak stake. Of course, Mikael just ran off with it, but since Kol hasn't told his dearest mother and brother about that yet, all he can really say is that he hit a bit of a snag. Finn laughs sarcastically and asks him if that's the sit rep he'd like to pass on to Esther, so Kol has to give him a few more details. "Tell her that I've got everything under control. I'm keeping an eye on Davina. She's working on a spell to un-link her mates from Klaus' sire line so that she can kill them without them dying, too. I'm sure the stake will come back in play when she's ready."

When Finn asks how close she is to completing her spell, Kol explains that she's taken a linking spell and a sire-bond spell (Which, WHAT? Sire-bond spell? Where the fuck was that all the way back in Season 4 of TVD when that horrendous sire bond arc was happening?) and combined them in reverse, which impresses both Kol and Finn, the latter of which I didn't even think was possible. He doesn't know what she's using to bind the spell yet, though, so Finn instructs him to figure it out soon. "Mother needs Klaus alive AND connected. So, may I suggest that if you can't find that stake, you either kill that girl's spell or you kill the girl." Ohhhhh, no, no, no, no! Davina has already died once, and she is NOT dying again! Plus, she's a much stronger witch than I think Finn gives her credit. Kol makes a frustrated face before hanging up the phone and returning to the cabin to continue snooping without Mikael's interference.

Meanwhile, Mikael is dragging a terrified Cami through the woods near the Bayou, but though she may be frightened, that's not going to stop her from trying to talk him down. She reminds him that Klaus will find him, but that's exactly what he's counting on, and he assures her that this time, he'll be ready for him. DUDE IS SO BITTER HE GOT BESTED BY HIS BASTARD STEP-SON. Cami asks him how he expects to be ready when he's just been stabbed with Papa Tunde's blade, and she brings up the fact that she's seen what that blade can do to people. "I have fought more pain than anyone, living or dead," Mikael replies angrily. (I wonder what exactly he's talking about? The loss of two of his children? The revelation that Esther cheated on him and conceived a werewolf child with Klaus' bio dad? The pain of all of his battles while he was a Viking? I'd be interested in getting more backstory about this!) "But, once I feed, I shall be restored," Mikael continues, and Cami, afraid she's about to be a vampire juice-box, immediately tries to back away from him, but he continues gripping her arm tightly. "Not you! You, my dear, are leverage. Once I threaten to dismember you in front of him, Klaus will hesitate. And, in that moment of weakness, I shall end him."

Cami completely loses her temper at this statement, and points out that both he and Klaus are ridiculous in their endless cycle of attempts to kill the other before reminding him that he's obsessing over the death of someone whose only sin against Mikael was that he was fathered by another man. As you can probably expect, Mikael does not take this call-out very well, and yells at her to shut up. He insists that she's an "enabler of the weak," which he's sure is why Klaus actually likes being around her. After a moment of walking, he gets distracted by the sound of music and talking nearby. He follows the sound, dragging her behind him as he marches around, until they finally come upon a couple dozen drunk humans who are milling around a huge bonfire, all of them wearing these weirdo homemade Halloween masks. Mikael proclaims this "Hillbilly Halloween" party to be a satisfying source of food for him (though they're not vampires, so I don't know why he's not pulling a Ripper!Damon and turning them into vampires to feed on, but whatever) before yanking Cami toward the crowd.

Back at the cabin, Davina is still knocked the fuck out, so Kol is continuing his search of the house to see what kind of clues he can find. He sees a wall full of Davina's magical notes and copies of Esther's spells, as well as a long brown branch, which Kol identifies as Kandahar root. Apparently, that's what Davina is using to bind her unlinking spell, but as far as I can tell from my Google-fu and research on Witchipedia, it doesn't actually exist? If it does, it's buried under search results about power plants in Kandahar, Afghanistan, so sorry for not having more information on that! Anyway, Kol takes the root and holds it in his hands while he casts an unintelligible spell, which kills the plant and turns it black. Of course, that's when Davina awakens with a start and looks around the room in confusion before wincing and touching her temple where she hit her head earlier. When she asks him what happened, Kol rushes over and instead changes the subject to her, asking her if she's alright.

She rubs the back of her skull and suddenly remembers all of the events from earlier in the evening-- Klaus arriving to the cabin, Kol and Davina trying to hide themselves and Mikael with magic, and Davina knocking herself out when Klaus broke the windows. She weakly asks about Klaus, and Kol plays dumb. "Angry bloke with the deadly aim? Yeah, he smashed the place up and then he left." Davina, horrified, asks him where he went, but she's not happy about the answer she gets. "To hunt down your pet serial-killer friend," he replies, before adding, "Listen, not to be Mr. Judgmental here, but I'm starting to question the company that you keep--" Davina stands to her feet and starts pacing around the room when she asks him about the white oak stake, which Kol reports to have been taken by who he refers hilariously to as "the serial-killer one."

Not at all reassured, Davina grabs the bracelet around her wrist and calls out for Mikael to get him to come back, but when he doesn't show up, she frustratedly shrieks, "Why isn't this working?" Kol, not wanting to out himself with regards to his role in Mikael's escape, leads Davina back to her chair and reminds her that she was unconscious for a while and probably needs some rest and water to get her strength back. "No, you don't understand!" Davina replies frantically. "If Mikael's free, he can kill Klaus, and then my friends die too!" Kol, still in this hilarious kind of denial, is like, "Well, if I understand all this, Mikael's been trying to kill Klaus for eons. How are you going to stop him?" LOL, YOU FORGOT HOW YOU SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE, BRUH. Davina thinks for a moment before deciding that her only recourse is that she finish her spell right this second. Yes, that will definitely go exactly as planned.

Back in the city, Hayley has just entered Marcel's loft, where, as usual, he is pouring himself a drink at his bar. She informs him that the werecubs they rescued in the last episode made it to their safe house "up north," whatever that means, and Marcel proclaims this to not only be great, but also his good deed for the decade. He hands her a drink, but she politely declines it before remarking that it might actually be possible for the vampires and werewolves to work together in peace for the first time ever. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend!" Marcel replies, before holding his drink up to her in toast before taking a sip. When Hayley thanks him earnestly for his help, Marcel tells her not to thank him, but to thank Elijah instead, which brings them to their big problem. "I would have, but I can't get a hold of him," Hayley says with a frown, before adding that she went to the compound to find him, but he wasn't there. Marcel adorably brings up the fact that he was under the impression that Hayley always knew what he was up to, but Hayley insists that even though they haven't exactly been getting along lately, he wouldn't just straight-up disappear without telling anyone what was up. Bahahaha, Marcel is so a Haylijah shipper, let's be real here.

Anyway, Marcel wracks his brain for a moment and reminds Hayley that the last time Marcel saw him, he was planning on going with Oliver to distract the wolves while the two of them, Josh, and Gia got the kids out of the Quarter. This does nothing but make Hayley more worried, though, because she hasn't been able to get in touch with Oliver, either, so if they're both MIA, then the chances that they're not in major trouble are very, very slim. Hayley, intent to save him, rushes toward the door, but Marcel chases after her to stop her and ask where she's going. Of course, Hayley's plan is to just run in blind and find Elijah and Oliver, but Marcel insists that she's not going alone under any circumstances and sets his drink on the bar so that he can accompany her. Man, who knew that Marcel and Hayley would end up being one of my favorite friendships on this show? I sure didn't! They have a lot of chemistry, though, and I like the whole "we pretend to hate each other but really you're my friend"-style thing they've got going on. It makes for very entertaining team-ups!

Back at Lafayette Cemetery, Elijah is kneeling on the floor, trying to doze off a bit to the best of his ability in spite of the fact that his wrists are still suspended from chains hanging from the ceiling, but naturally, Esther's not keen on him getting even a moment's respite. "You're hungry, aren't you?" she coos as she walks around where Elijah is kneeling. "It's been hours since you fed. What an awful thing, to feed upon the blood of others. For this, I blame myself... and your father. We tried to make you children strong. But, instead, we cursed you all."

They're suddenly transported to another flashback to the early 11th century, It's presumably just a day or two after Mikael and the children were turned into vampires, because Elijah has just found Klaus in the forest the night after his first werewolf transformation. He's kneeling on the ground, surrounded by the dismembered corpses of several men when Elijah finds him and hands him some fresh clothes. Klaus begins to ask him what he is, but he instead tearfully asks how many people he killed overnight, and Elijah looks pained as he admits that Klaus slaughtered six of their fellow villagers. Elijah helps Klaus to his feet, just as Klaus asks him what he's become, forcing Elijah to drop some painful truths. "You seem like the wolves in the village, cursed to turn when the moon is full," Elijah explains quietly, as he pulls Klaus into a hug. "Listen to me," he continues. "Father is beside himself with rage. It seems this... affliction... can only be passed by a certain kind of conception--"

Klaus, horrified and ashamed, cuts him off. "--And do our siblings share this affliction? Do YOU share this affliction?" Elijah hesitates and looks as though he's about to cry himself before he shakes his head and confesses that he isn't, which leads Klaus to the revelation that Mikael isn't actually Klaus' biological father. Even still, Elijah puts his hands on either side of Klaus' neck and insists that he not trouble himself with this fact. "You listen to me-- this changes NOTHING. For any of us. We are here for you, as we shall be always." Klaus is practically in tears, but he and Elijah are both caught off-guard when they hear footsteps approaching and turn to find Tatia standing several yards away, gaping in horror at the mutilated corpses around them. Frightened, she begins to run away, and Elijah becomes so flustered that he chases after her to try to explain.

In the present day, Elijah is clearly upset by this memory, and he glares at Esther angrily. "I fail to see your point, here," Elijah begins coldly. "I compelled Tatia to forget what she saw, and she DID." Esther just smiles sadly at him and reminds him that since he was only a few days old as a vampire at the time, he hadn't fully learned to control his new abilities, and thus wasn't exactly skilled at compulsion yet. Of course, Elijah is sure that she's just fucking with him and insists that he very clearly remembers what happened that day. "Do you?" Esther asks calmly. "You thought there were still lines you wouldn't cross." Elijah looks at her, visibly distraught, but she continues the guilt trip. "People you wouldn't hurt. Things you wouldn't do. But, you're WRONG. That is what I'm here to show you."

The scene cuts back to the 11th century flashbacks, as Elijah continues to chase Tatia through the forest. After a long moment, Tatia trips over an exposed tree root and falls onto the ground, allowing Elijah to finally catch up to her. He calls out her name and pleads with her to wait, but Tatia is absolutely horrified by all of this and begs him to stay away from her. Elijah holds up his hands in his best effort to not look threatening and promises that he won't hurt her, but Tatia doesn't even know what to believe at this point. "What have you become?" she whispers in terror. "I'm what I've always been!" Elijah insists. "I'm the one who loves you." Tatia, still scared out of her wits, shakes her head in disbelief.

Back in the present day, Esther is continuing on to make Elijah feel suicidally terrible about himself. "You knew how special she was!" she says loudly. "I always thought you would protect her. That she would be your wife, that I might call her daughter! Instead--" Elijah cuts her off and bellows that he didn't hurt her, but Esther's not having it, and she reminds him that he's taught himself to hide from his true self for over a millennia. "I did NOT hurt Tatia!" Elijah yells. "I COULD NOT!" However, Esther maintains that he did, in fact, hurt her, before sending them both back into flashbacks.

In the 11th century, Tatia frantically explains, "Your mother asked for my blood. She said NOTHING of the dark magic that would turn you into a monster!" Elijah, hurt by these words, tries to tell her that he's not a monster, but he can't finish the sentence, both because, deep down, he knows it's not exactly true, and also because he's just caught a whiff of her bleeding hand, which she cut open when she fell earlier. Despite him doing everything that he can to resist his vampiric urges, his vampire face still comes out, though after a moment of deep breathing, it recedes. Still, Tatia looks absolutely terrified and backs away from him as Elijah calls out her name.

Present day-- Esther grips Elijah's face in her hands and croons, "Oh, my beautiful boy. No more hiding! It is time, now, for you to remember it ALL."

11th century-- Tatia, scared, slaps Elijah across the face with her non-injured hand in hopes of protecting himself, and Elijah rubs his aching jaw as he insists that it's okay. "I said I will not hurt you. I don't want to--" Of course, his vampire face comes back out again, and this time, he can't hold it back. Tatia backs away in fright, but she's not fast enough to counteract the super-speed of an Original vampire, even if he is just a baby. When Tatia fearfully whispers, "Elijah?" Elijah looks distraught as he yells at her to run away from him. She does as she's told and starts to flee from him again, Elijah's unable to resist her blood and races after her. Esther's narrates in voiceover, "You didn't want to hurt her. You LOVED her," as Elijah catches up to her again, yanks Tatia's head back by the hair to expose her neck as she yelps and struggles against his grip. "But, you couldn't fight what you had become. What I had turned you into!" Despite both of their best efforts to prevent it, Elijah bites into Tatia's neck and drinks deep, feeding on her until she dies. "A predator. And SHE became your prey!"

In the present day, Elijah yanks his head out of Esther's hands and glares at her, refusing to believe what his mother has just revealed to him. "This was YOU. You murdered her for her blood. And then, you used it to cripple Klaus for centuries." Esther can't believe what he's saying as he steps away from her and continues trying to break the chains that bind him. He insists that he will not be listening to another word she has to say, but Esther assures him that he doesn't have to listen-- all he has to do is REMEMBER. Yiiiiikes, this is horrible! Like, on the one hand, Elijah is clearly got some major repression issues going on here (although, as we'll learn later, there was some magical reasoning behind Elijah not remembering this as well), and it's probably better for him to know, but on the other hand, Esther was the one who chose to let Elijah believe a lie for all of these centuries, you know? If she's so ashamed of creating the vampire species and everything that her children have become since then, then how can she claim to have any moral high ground over them? She's uses the bodies of a handful of mortals to house her spirit and those of her sons, she's tempted a human into darkness (Alaric, with help from the Gilbert ring) before turning HIM into a vampire, too, and has ordered the deaths of countless witches for not believing in her cause (like Sophie, Genevieve, and Hope, though she was able to escape that fate.) So, how is she better than Mikael and her vampire children, again? I just don't get it.

Meanwhile, in the woods of the Bayou, Klaus has been tracking Mikael and Cami. He finds a smear of blood on a nearby tree and follows it to what Mikael so endearingly referred to as the "Hillbilly Halloween" bonfire in the clearing. When he gets there, he finds all of the party-goers standing completely still in their various masks, presumably compelled by Mikael to wait until Klaus showed up to speak for him. Once he's approached the group, two of the partiers start speaking in the kind of dramatic tones that are pretty characteristic of Mikael. "Did you honestly think to hold me with a blade forged from pain?" one of them asks, before another interjects with, "Unlike the weak, unlike YOU, I gain strength from pain!" The first one joins in again and exclaims, "Soon, you will know the taste of white oak as it pierces your heart!" Oh, Mikael. We all know where Klaus inherited his flair for the theatrics, and it wasn't from his biological parents. Klaus, assuming Mikael must be nearby, starts shouting into the trees about how he must feel so clever to have compelled the locals to say what he wouldn't dare say to his face. He assures his step-dad that he's only delaying the inevitable, which triggers the compelled locals to start attacking Klaus. Of course, they're just regular old humans, so Klaus tears through them easily.

This is the other thing I don't get-- so, Mikael compels a dozen or more humans to attack Klaus, which he knows will only lead to their deaths, and for what? To distract Klaus to give him more time for whatever he's planning? How does that make him better than Klaus/Elijah/Rebekah? I mean, they call him Mikael the Destroyer for a reason-- he's killed entire town's worth of innocent people in search for his children, he's killed humans, vampires, werewolves, and probably witches alike in his mission to slay Klaus, Elijah, etc because they're "monsters?" I just don't understand how Esther and Mikael can want their children to die (in Esther's case, so they can be put in new bodies, but still) because they're so evil when they're not doing anything their parents haven't done before? It just makes their missions seem hypocritical at best.

At the Claire cabin, Davina and Kol are poring over her magical notes for her unlinking spell when Kol, who has orders to either stop Davina from doing the spell or killing her to prevent her from doing it, claims that maybe they should hold off a while before they cast the spell. but Davina is insistent, since they have everything they need to do it-- she plans on combining a knotting spell with a sire-bond spell. Her only problem at the moment is combining them in the correct way. Kol points out that they also need to be done in reverse, and makes the mistake of suggesting that it's much more sophisticated magic than Davina is capable of performing. UH OH. "You know, I can give you a list of people who have underestimated me," Davina snaps, as Kol smirks charmingly. "Not one of them has done it a second time." Kaleb just keeps on smiling and proposes that he help her with the spell, since he's also pretty good at magic, but Davina just laughs and points out that it's not enough to just say the spells backward, the verb tenses also need to be changed as well. So, Kol decides to wow her by translating the spell for her in the most snarky way possible. "Nemo anos animabus caenum sanguino duesto duo," he incants, as Davina gives him a look that says she's impressed. "Like I said, I'm good at what I do," Kol adds. "It's never paid to underestimate me, either." Davina sighs reluctantly before proclaiming them to be ready to go and leading him into the next room to do the spell.

In New Orleans, Mikael has dragged a struggling Cami into an abandoned barn or building of some kind in order to further terrorize her and generally be the abusive asswipe we all know he is. Cami is furious, as you can probably imagine, and because Cami is a psychological professional won't let a little ancient vampire-vampire-hunter intimidate her, she refuses to just sit by quietly without telling him just how insane he is.

CAMI: "I used to try to convince Klaus that there was good in everyone, that you really did care about him, deep inside, once. [Mikael throws her onto the floor] He told me that I was naive, that I could never fathom how deep your hatred ran."
MIKAEL: "I didn't always HATE him. When Klaus was born, I was overjoyed! I thought, 'This one-- this one has the eyes of a warrior. He will be worthy.' But, my hope was short-lived. And, when I found out that he wasn't really my son, my relief was GLORIOUS! But, that passed with the knowledge that he was begat of a BEAST."
CAMI: "His mother's infidelity was not his fault!"
MIKAEL: "EVERYTHING that followed was because of Niklaus' obsession with the wolves! He ventured out to watch them turn on the full moon, and he took my youngest son, Henrik. He was but a child, and he was torn apart!"
CAMI: "It was an ACCIDENT!"
MIKAEL: [bellows] "An accident? AN ACCIDENT? HE MURDERED MY WIFE! HIS OWN MOTHER! Who sought to cleanse him of his beast-like nature! He BETRAYED me! He turned my entire family against me! And yet, you DEFEND him?"
CAMI: [yells] "I have DESPERATELY tried to convince him not to kill you! That the bloodshed of your family does not have to be an endless cycle! And, after centuries on this earth, do you really not see that ALL of your violence is POINTLESS?"

YASSSS CAMI YOU TELL THAT SHITHEAD WHAT'S WHAT. While Cami was yelling at him, Mikael began pinching the bridge of his nose, looking as though he's starting to cry, but, of course, this is manly-man, Viking-warrior Mikael the Destroyer we're talking about here, so in reality, he's actually laughing maniacally. "Let me hazard a guess-- you are one of those alienists, right?" HAHAHA. I've never actually heard of psychologists being called that, but I imagine it's an old-timey expression, yeah? Anyway, Cami informs him that they're actually called "therapists" here in the 21st century, and that he, of all people, would benefit from a little time on the couch. Mikael winces as he looks down at his chest, where his wound from Papa Tunde's blade is still trickling blood, and points out that since his wound isn't healing, what he really could use right now is some more food.

Didn't he feed on any of the Halloween partiers? I thought that was the point? Oh, Mikael, you make no sense. Cami starts to back away from him in fear and reminds him that he said he wouldn't, just as Mikael starts vamping-out and skulking toward her. "Yes, I did, didn't I?" Mikael lisps through his fangs. "And although the blood of a full belly makes for good fodder, in times of need, even the devil eats flies!" OH JESUS. And now, I'm getting flashbacks to Seasons 5 and 6 of Supernatural, when Sebastian Roché was Balthazar, an angel who was much, much more likable that Mikael is. Sigh. Anyway, as you can probably guess, he vamp-speeds toward her, hissing all the way, before he bites down on her neck and feeds on her as she screams. YUP, WAY TO GUARANTEE THAT KLAUS IS GONNA KILL YOUR ASS, DUDE.

Back in the Bayou, it's daylight now, and Klaus has just finished feeding on one of the recently-deceased partiers. One of the still-alive masked drunkards lunges toward Klaus with a weapon, but Klaus simply disarms him and whacks him over the head with it, knocking him briefly unconscious. Suddenly, his phone starts to ring, and when he sees it's Hayley, he immediately answers it. Hayley and Marcel are at the parking garage where Elijah and Oliver fought against the werewolves, which is completely empty, aside from multiple blood spatters. When Klaus points out to Hayley that he's a bit busy at the mo, Hayley gets right into it. "Something has happened to Elijah," Hayley whispers quietly. "He was supposed to be our decoy last night, and now he's vanished. There's blood EVERYWHERE-- werewolf and vampire. There's a trail. I need you to help us track it." Klaus sighs and insists that while he'd love to help, he's got too much on his plate as it is, just as the partier he knocked out starts crawling toward him. He kicks the poor bastard in the face, knocking him backwards, just as Hayley is like, "Uh, what is more important than your own brother?" 

Klaus' answer? "My life? Davina had Mikael on a magical leash, and it broke. Now, Mikael has Tunde's blade, the white oak stake, AND Cami." Marcel, who has been eavesdropping on the conversation with his vamp-hearing, hops to his feet angrily at the news that Cami is a hostage as Klaus assures them that he's going to get her back. The drunken, compelled partier tries once again to attack Klaus, but he just grabs the poor kid in a choke-hold while he finishes his conversation with his baby mama and surrogate son. "And then, I'm gonna end this. Either Mikael or I will be ash by day's end," Klaus says, which does NOTHING to make Marcel and Hayley feel better, seeing as at least one of them will be dying with Klaus if that's how the wind blows. (Which, question-- I know Hayley was sired by Hope, but since Hope became a hybrid through the mixture of Klaus' werewolf-vampire-witch blood and Hayley's werewolf blood, then doesn't that make Hope a descendant of Klaus' vampire bloodline, too? I'm just curious if Hope and Hayley would also die with Klaus' death.) Before Klaus hangs up, he asks them to tell Elijah he could use a helping hand if they end up finding them, and then snaps the poor kid's neck and ends the call. YIKES!

Meanwhile, at the Claire cabin, Kol and Davina have surrounded themselves with lit candles in the small living room and are sitting cross-legged on the floor while they chant Davina's spell. After a moment, Davina groans in frustration and basically tells Kol to shut up because it isn't working. Kol, knowing that Davina is way too close to blowing his cover for comfort, weakly suggests that perhaps she's not doing it correctly, but Davina insists that they HAVE to do it perfectly, because Marcel and Josh's lives (and the rest of the vampires Klaus sired who Davina doesn't care much about) depend on it. At a loss for options, Davina instructs him to stop chanting and decides that it would be better if Davina just channeled him instead. This proves to be bad for Kol, because as soon as she grabs his wrists to channel his power, she gets several visions of Kol's actions over the past day-- Kol killing Davina's Kandahar root with a spell, Mikael forcing him to de-spell Mikael's bracelet, and Klaus identifying him as his brother Kol. When Davina pulls herself out of the flashbacks, she lets go of his wrists as though she was burned and looks at him with the most mutinous, horrified expression on her face.

Kol looks extremely guilty, as well he should, when he realizes that he's just been outed, and when Davina shrieks, "You're ONE of them!", she telekinetically throws Kol against the wall. "You LIAR!" she yells again, throwing him at another wall, before Kol starts to get pissy and uses his own magic to shove Davina against the wall behind her. "That HURT," Kol whines angrily, but Davina's too fast (and powerful) for him and casts a nasty pain-infliction spell on him until he finally cries uncle, which is when she stops. Davina's still furious at him, though, and yells at him for ruining her spell and being the reason why her friends are going to die, but Kol argues that since his mother told him to kill the spell or kill her, and he happens to LIKE her, he decided to go with the former. Davina's not buying it, but Kol maintains that it's the truth. "Listen, you don't disobey Mother Dearest without some consequences. Yes, she brought me back to life, but she's mad as a hatter. And that man you've made your pet, my father? Well, he's more of a lunatic than she is." 

Davina isn't at all here for Kol blaming this on her and brings up the fact that she had Mikael under control, but Kol reminds her that she didn't ALWAYS have him under control, and it was during that point that he threatened him into de-spelling her bracelet. "He wanted freedom, so I freed him. You wanna know my secrets?" Kol asks in frustration, before holding his wrists out toward her. "Then here you go. Go on! Have at it! Yes, I'm a Mikaelson, but I've got just as much reason to loathe the lot of them as you do." GOD I LOVE SHARMAN!KOL SO DAMN MUCH. No disrespect to Nate Buzolic, who is great and charming, but Daniel Sharman just has Kol's arrogant charm and middle-child syndrome down pat, and it's wonderful. Calmer now, Davina glances down at his outstretched arms before rolling her eyes and pacing around the room to try to come up with a new plan. She touches the bracelet around her wrist and asks him how he managed to deactivate it. Kol just shrugs and points out that it's a dark object, and he's got experience with creating and destroying them (which is a part of the story I am SUPER excited to get into in the future recaps.) Davina, clearly formulating an idea, demands that he show her how to do it, and Kol, thankful that she's not about to kill his ass, agrees to do it as the two go into the next room.

Time to check up on Esther and Elijah's shenanigans, yeah? Elijah is still insisting that his mother is warping his memories to cover up the fact that she was the one who killed Tatia, but though Esther does concede that she used Tatia's blood in the spell to bind Klaus' werewolf aspect, but only because she was already dead by the time Elijah brought Tatia to her. "You can't rewrite history!" Elijah yells angrily, but Esther agrees that she can't. "And I did not. Not until I had your consent."

Cut to the flashbacks to the 11th century, where OG Esther is out by the pig pen and slaughterhouse, cleaning a butcher's knife with a cloth, when Elijah walks slowly toward her with Tatia's lifeless body in her arms. When Esther realizes what has happened, she backs away from Elijah in horror. Modern-day Esther narrates in voiceover: "When you became yourself again, you brought her to me," she explains, as OG Esther takes Tatia out of Elijah's arms. "But, too late. I told you you were a good son, to let ME take care of it. That I could help make it all go away." OG Esther drags Tatia's body into the slaughterhouse, while Elijah, absolutely devastated at what he has done to the love of his life, falls to his knees in tears. Once Esther had gotten Tatia's body into the slaughterhouse, she closed the RED DOOR, which was stained with her blood.

In the present day, Esther looks Elijah in the eyes as she continues, "And then, I said to you, 'You will not suffer from this memory, or be tormented from the guilt of your misdeed. What goes behind that door shall stay there and be FORGOTTEN." In flashback, Esther returns to Elijah, still kneeling in front of the slaughterhouse door, and brings him a washcloth before whispering in his ear. In voiceover, Esther explains, "I told you to clean yourself up. That if you were clean, no one would know what you had done." Elijah takes the washcloth from her hands and starts to wipe the blood from his face with it. In the present day, Elijah is shaking his head in disbelief, but Esther looks almost guilty as she drops the big reveal that makes SO MUCH DAMN SENSE in retrospect. "And you did exactly that... and more. You created a place in your mind to put your victims. You began to believe that as long as your suit was immaculate and your hands clean, you could look in the mirror and tell yourself it's all okay. No one need know what's behind that red door." Elijah, horrified at this revelation, flashes back to his dream from earlier, when he was chasing Hayley/Tatia down the hallway, where they began pounding desperately at the red door before his bloodstained-self finally caught and fed on them.

"But, a thousand years is a long time, Elijah. And a place meant to hold one unforgivable sin is now full to bursting with your most monstrous deeds." Elijah, overwhelmed by all this guilt and horror and shock, yells at her to stop, but like that's ever stopped Esther before. "How long before it's your beloved Hayley's corpse behind that door?" Uh, never, because Hayley is an indestructible hybrid? Its not like he can feed on her to death like Tatia. Elijah continues begging her to stop, but NOPE. "You must be afraid that-- that loving you will destroy her! As it destroyed Celeste. Tatia." Of course, this entire day of torture has just been Esther's lead-up to once again pitch her deal-- "Take my offer. BOTH of you. In new bodies, you will be ALIVE again! You could give her a child! To replace the one that she lost!"

Uhhh, Esther should probably know better than anyone that you can't just REPLACE a child that you've lost, right? I mean, obviously Hope isn't actually lost, but you get what I mean-- it's not like having a new child can ever fully replace the whole in your heart where the lost child once was. Esther had six children after she had her first-born, and I'm sure none of them replaced her in her heart. Elijah is smart enough to know exactly what Esther is doing, thankfully, and he assures her that she will not be breaking him, but Esther just laughs sadly. "Oh, you are already broken, my dear boy. But not beyond repair. I am here to FIX you." Ugh, I am getting so many Bill Forbes vibes off of her right now and it is so gross!

Let's just talk about Elijah here for a moment, though, because this whole "red door" thing explains sooooo much about his character. Since the very first time we met Elijah, back in Season 2 of The Vampire Diaries, he has always worn a sharp suit with a pocket square that he would always pull out to clean off his hands after he killed someone. Of all of the siblings, he's definitely the neatest one, almost obsessive-compulsively so, and he's always prided himself on being totally in control, the noble brother who always keeps his word, and now we know why. It seems as though Esther intended her spell to make Elijah forget that he killed Tatia was a one-time deal, sort of like how Elena had Alaric compel away all of her memories of loving Damon in The Vampire Diaries, and the loss of those memories forced her brain to fill in the blanks, which is what made her feel like he was a monster-- without his original memories of killing Tatia, Elijah's mind was forced to draw its own conclusions based on the limited information he had, and he determined that Esther must have just killed Tatia for her blood to end his feud with Klaus over her. And, since Esther was trying to help him, in her own twisted way, and because Esther died at Klaus' hand shortly afterward, there was never the opportunity for anyone to correct his assumption because I'm guessing Esther was the only one who knew the truth, judging by the fact that Klaus seems to think Esther killed her as well.

Of course, Esther is a powerful witch, and Elijah was desperate to forget about the atrocities he was committing, so that would explain how he managed to shove ten centuries worth of violence behind that red door that was only supposed to hold one. And, naturally, since Esther's intention is getting him (and Hayley, Klaus, and Rebekah) to take her deal, she figures the best way to make that happen, at least where Elijah is concerned, is to crack open that door wide open and force him to confront all those memories like Castiel breaking down Sam Winchester's Hell-wall in Supernatural (Seriously guys, I'm not lying when I say "Emily Watches Too Much Television"-- I can find a TV reference in ANY situation) and hopefully make him feel so ashamed and guilty that she'll stick him in a new human witch body and make him feel better again. At least, until she needs to break it out to make him follow her rules again. Yeah, this family is quite literally mental.

ANYWAY, Davina and Kol are trekking through the woods in search of Mikael while Kol is talking magic again. "Bleeding power from a dark object is tricky, so it does help to know what kind of object it is," he explains, but when Davina informs her the object she wants to drain is the indestructible white oak stake, he laughs patronizingly at her. Wait, I still don't understand how the stake is a dark object-- I was under the impression it was just a regular-old white oak stake (one of the few, if not the only thing, in the world that can kill an Original vampire, which has a melted Gilbert ring coating it so the protective magic in the metal could keep the stake from burning up when it was used on an Original. So, since the stake has the power to kill them, melted ring or not, I really don't get how it's supposed to be a dark object, but I love Kol and Davina, so I'm going to let it go for the sake of the story.

So, Davina just shrugs and is like, "Well, you de-spelled my bracelet and fucked up my de-linking spell, so since I can't stop Mikael, the only recourse I have to save my friends is to stop the stake." Kol, on the other hand, straight-up tells her that while he likes ambitious girls, her plan is insane, which does NOTHING to endear Davina to him. "Just show me the spell, Kaleb!" Davina exclaims exasperatedly as she grabs his arm and yanks him backward. "Kol, or whatever your name is." Kol points out that the problem isn't the spell itself, it's that the stake is way to powerful for them to be able to drain its magic (and he would know, considering one, his mother made it, and two, he's already been killed with it once already), so all they can really hope to do is disable it momentarily. Davina once again insists that since they don't have a better solution, nor do they have time to argue, Kol needs to give her the spell and his car keys so they can get going already. Kol's amused as he asks her if she expects to just drive around until she bumps into them, but Davina's got it covered; "You may have messed with my bracelet, but I made sure months ago that I would ALWAYS be able to find Mikael." YESS DAVINA IS A WITCH GODDESS. Kol finally gives up and tells her it's her funeral, but insists that he's not gonna let her drive his car (which is some old-fashioned car, just like everything else he owns, because in case you've forgotten, Kol is ancient.

Meanwhile, Klaus has made his way to the outskirts of the Bayou, right outside the abandoned building where Mikael is holding Cami. He comes upon a large rock that is smeared with blood, and when he examines it, he realizes it's Cami's and scowls angrily as he sees a nearby shovel and breaks it into a makeshift stake in hopes of at least neutralizing Mikael long enough to get the white oak stake from him. Soon enough, he makes it into the building, where he finds Mikael holding Cami with Papa Tunde's blade against her throat, which, as expected, only makes him more furious. She's clearly weakened from being fed on, and is swaying on her feet, with only Mikael's grip keeping her upright. "You're gonna PAY for hurting her," Klaus growls as he points his stake toward him, but Mikael just barks a condescending laugh. "Aw, how sweet! The cur whines for his bitch!" he replies, as he drops Cami carelessly onto the floor. Klaus watches her, clearly concerned for her well-being, but afraid to check on her and get distracted from killing his dad once and for all. Mikael has the white oak stake in one hand, and Tunde's blade in the other, and he assures Klaus that he'll drain Cami alive just before Klaus burns. Yawn. Blah blah blah dramatic threats, blah blah blah weak insults.

Okay, we've reached the part of the episode when it cuts back and forth from two or three scenes, so bear with me! Klaus furiously leaps a dozen feet into the air and lunges at Mikael with his makeshift stake, knocking them both onto the ground. He scrabbles onto his feet and gets into a defense position across from Mikael, who does the same. Outside, Kol and Davina have just arrived in Kol's car, and rush toward the building. Back inside, Mikael has pinned Klaus against the nearby wall, and is struggling to get the stake into his heart. Cami starts to come to after her bout of blood loss and she watches nervously from the sidelines while Klaus and Mikael fight. This is probably the first time she's even seen Klaus in a MAJOR throw-down, isn't it? On the one hand, it's probably really scary, but on the other, after what Mikael did to her, I'm sure she's eager to see Mikael get his due punishment. Mikael is just about to stake Klaus when Klaus knees him right in the gut and face, one right after the other, which gives Klaus the ability to tackle him, and they fall through a brick-and-concrete wall in the next room. DAMN!

Davina is rushing quickly through the warehouse toward the main room when Kol, who was following closely behind her, grabs her arm quickly to top her. "Wait!" he exclaims. "We need to do this together." Davina, still not fully trusting Kol after the shit he pulled on her earlier, insists that she's strong enough, but Kol, who I really do think actually legitimately cares about her, doesn't want her to get herself hurt just because she's too suspicious of him to take his help. "No, you're not," Kol insists desperately. "Listen, I know you don't trust me, and that's fair enough. But these are YOUR mates we're trying to save, here. The only way that we can do this is if we work together." AWW KOL. This is like the first time we've seen him truly crushing on someone (besides his futile attempts at trying to woo Meredith Fell in TVD Season 3) and it is making me love him SO MUCH. He takes one of Davina's hands in his own and holds out his free hand for her to take. "You need to trust me. Alright? Take my hands. Take my power. Channel me."

In the next room, Cami is struggling to pull herself to her feet while Mikael and Klaus continue their intense beat-down of each other. She manages to stand just as Klaus has kicked Mikael to the floor, and he straddles him as he prepares to steal Mikael's weapons. Mikael tries to stake him anyway, but Klaus turns the stake back onto him and musters up all of the strength he has to break his grip and kill him for good. "Not as weak as you remember, am I?" Klaus gloats, just as he finally wrenches the stake out of Mikael's hand and turns it on him. Of course, Mikael's got Klaus' number, so he takes Papa Tunde's blade and lobs it hard at Cami, forcing Klaus to vamp-speed over to her and catch it before it stabs her right in the face. UGH FUCK YOU, MIKAEL. NOBODY HURTS CAMI OR ANYONE ELSE ON TEAM "GOOD!" (I can't believe I'm calling Klaus, Elijah, Marcel, Hayley, Davina et al Team Good, since they're morally gray at best, but compared to Finn, Esther, Mikael, etc, they really are the good guys.) So, with Klaus up and away from the weapons, he manages to steal the stake back, and he and Klaus are back to square one, fight-wise.

In the other room, Davina has both of Kol's hands clasped in hers as she channels his power to disable the stake. Inside the room, Cami watches in horror as Mikael gets the upper hand in the fight and stabs Klaus in the heart with the white oak stake as Kol and Davina continue to chant outside.  "NO!" Cami shrieks as Klaus shouts in pain and falls to the floor, and Mikael backhands her before turning to watch gleefully as Klaus' face turns gray with mottled veins as he begins to desiccate. However, his glee starts to fade as he realizes that something must be wrong, because Klaus hasn't yet burst into flames like he himself did when he died, along with Finn and Kol. He then senses someone in the next room and vamp-speeds over there. Kol and Davina are still chanting, but Davina stops to frantically cry, "I cant hold it!" Kol insists that she needs to trust him, which, naturally, is when Mikael appears behind them. "Is this your doing, little witch?" he growls. "Then YOU will undo it! Return the power to the stake!"

Back in the main room, Cami has crawled over to Klaus' body and stares at the stake in his chest, hoping that Mikael's suspicions mean that Klaus can still be saved. She reaches for the stake and tries to wrench it out of him, but it hardly budges, either because of the toughened hybrid-body or because Cami barely has any blood in her body at the moment. Meanwhile, Kol and Davina are still trying to keep the stake de-powered for the moment, but when Mikael lunges for Davina, she pulls out a pain-infliction spell to keep Mikael at bay while Kol continues the spell to disable the stake. However, this doesn't keep Mikael back for long, and Kol bravely steps in front of Davina to protect her. Oh, Kol! Where did this chivalrous streak come from? I kind of dig it, even though Davina can take care of herself for the most part. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Mikael still has no idea that this accomplice of Davina's is his son Kol, but either way, he still grabs him and throws him against the nearby chain-link fence. Unable to continue the spell without Kol, Mikael grabs Davina by the hair and pulls her head back before going to town on her carotid artery and feeding on her.

(via ohmyklaus)
Finally, Cami has managed to pull the stake out of Klaus' chest, and just in the nick of time! Color starts returning to Klaus' face, and she breathes a sigh of relief, just as Mikael, all empowered on the witch blood he just drank from Davina, returns and looks at her mutinously. He asks her what the fuck she thinks she's doing, but Cami just turns toward him and holds the stake out in front of her. "Stay the hell away from us! Or I swear to God, I'll kill you myself!" YESSSS CAMI. Remember how she said she was a black belt in karate or tae kwon do? Can we get more badassness from her pleeeease? Her brain is great, but it'd be awesome to see her physically be able to protect herself, and same with Davina. Mikael is unamused, of course, but he does seem to be the tiniest bit impressed when he remarks that she has a warrior's heart, though the compliment loses some of its meaning when he adds that he'll keep it as a souvenir. He's just about to grab her to try to kill her once again when Marcel comes flying in out of NOWHERE and does the vampire version of The Flash's super-sonic punch, just whomping him over and over in the face so hard and fast that Mikael is momentarily disoriented. Naturally, Mikael recovers quickly enough and throws Marcel onto the floor before grabbing Klaus' makeshift stake from earlier and pointing it straight at Marcel's heart.

(via ohmyklaus)
"Now, ENOUGH!" Mikael bellows. "This night has been a long parade of FOOLS. I'll enjoy killing every last one of you." Klaus finally reawakens with a gasp, which relieves Cami so much that she's able to wobble to her feet. Before Mikael can strike at any of them, Hayley jumps in with a huge chain and rapidly loops it around his neck and strangles him with it. "Yeah, I wouldn't bet on it," Hayley mutters with a smirk. She takes the end of the chain and whips him across the face with it, giving Klaus the opportunity to hop to his feet. Hayley walks over to where Klaus, Cami, and Marcel are standing, and they're eventually joined by Davina as they all stand in tableau, smirking proudly at the fact that Mikael's lost his edge. "It's over, Mikael," Klaus states firmly. "You're outnumbered. Are you going to bed for your miserable life?" Of course, Mikael wouldn't be Mikael if he weren't trying to tear down everyone's confidence, so he just scoffs and replies, "You think having people makes you strong? It proves how weak you are. Come find me when you don't have fools, women, and children fighting your battles." He throws the scrap of wood he was going to use to stake Marcel and vamp-speeds away before they can attack him, while Klaus, looking relieved, just sighs.

(via ohmyklaus)
I know Mikael is sure that he is always right, 500% of the time, but in this case, he's totally wrong. His Viking ideals tell him that you should never allow anyone to fight your battles for you, but I honestly don't think that's what Klaus is doing at all. The running theme of this show, and especially this season, is "Family is Power," and that's exactly what is going on here. Whether by blood or by bond, these people are family now, and as Klaus said in "Rebirth," warriors are those who fight for their family, and what they believe in. Even ignoring the fact that Marcel, Josh, and maybe even Hayley (as well as the rest of the vampire community in New Orleans) would die if Klaus died, they all have a stake (pun unintended) in this fight with Mikael, because do we really think that Mikael would just stop with Klaus' death? Nope. He'd go for Elijah and Rebekah, too, for supporting him, and Marcel for loving him, and all of Klaus' other friends and allies just for funsies, because god forbid anyone mourn his bastard step-son, right?

Though he would never admit it, I think deep down, Mikael knows that Klaus has grown into someone who is capable of loving others, having legitimate friends and love interests, as well as familial relationships with his siblings, and it's these relationships that have made him stronger than he's ever been. He may be more merciful now than he used to be, thanks especially to Cami's influence, but he (and the rest of the group) will not stand for ANYONE who dares mess with his family, and honestly, I would pity the fools who try, if I didn't think they were ridiculously stupid for attempting it in the first place. I mean, do you remember the first time Klaus faced off with Mikael on TVD? Mikael was taunting Klaus about how he had no one in his life whose loyalty he didn't compel, how he surrounded himself with his hybrid army because he was ~too cowardly~ to fight him on his own. And now, while some of the people on his team are reluctant allies (Davina and Kol, for example), for the most part, he really has amassed a family of people who truly do care for them, because he finally learned how to be strong while still showing his humanity to those who have earned it. Repairing his relationship with Marcel, opening his heart to Hayley and embracing her into the Mikaelson family, letting Cami process what he's feeling for him and actually heeding her advice. And these are several of 239,872,312,382,734,987,120,912 reasons that I absolutely adore this show, and it might just be my most favorite show on television right now.

ANYWAY, now that the battle is over, Kol is sitting on the hood of his car outside while Davina tends to his wounds-- he's got the beginning of a black eye, and a bunch of scratches and abrasions on his temple and cheekbone from sliding against the pavement. She asks him if he's okay, but he just chuckles. "Uh, a bit light-headed. Might have something to do with being knocked ass over teacup by dear old Dad." HAHAHA. Marcel interrupts their conversation when he approaches them to address Davina. "You're lucky to be ALIVE, young lady," Marcel says in his best tough-dad voice. "You wanna tell me what the hell you were thinking?" I love how Klaus is like the dad/big brother to Marcel, and Marcel is like the dad/big brother to Davina, which kind of makes Davina Klaus' niece, yeah? THE MIKAELSON FAMILY IS SO RIDICULOUS. Anyway, Davina just rolls her eyes and asks him if they HAVE to go into this right now, but Marcel's ready to give a lecture and is like, "What, am I gonna embarrass you in front of your friend?" before asking who the fuck Kol is, anyway. Kol, of course, knows exactly who Marcel is after their years of living at the compound together, and replies, "Oh, we've gotta stop meeting like this, pal." Marcel gives him a confused and annoyed look before turning to Davina, who vaguely explains that he's her friend who has been helping her.

"Helping you do what?" Marcel asks, clearly aggravated. "Wage war on Klaus and help me get killed in the process?" Davina is offended by this remark and reminds him that she just saved Klaus' life just to save him, but Marcel points out that Klaus was in danger in the first place because of the "psycho-vampire-hunter" who SHE brought back to life. Oh shit, I just realizes that Davina and Marcel haven't actually talked since the events of "Alive and Kicking," since she's been hiding out at the cabin with Mikael ever since. Yiiiiikes! They've got some issues to work out, apparently. Anyway, Kol cuts them off by interjecting, "Alright, enough!", but when Marcel starts to glare at him, he begins backpedaling, clearly afraid Marcel will knock his head off or something. I know Kol likes being a witch, but I'm sure he misses his vampire strength and healing right about now, yeah? "Well, I--I think its enough. It SHOULD be enough. I mean, we're all friends here, aren't we?"

Marcel gives Davina this incredulous look, like, "Are you serious with this motherfucker?" but Davina just scowls at him, so Marcel orders her to stay put until he gets back before heading back into the building to check on the others. Once he's gone, Kol insists that they really should get out of there, because even though Davina saved Klaus' ass today, his feelings of betrayal will outweigh any good things she did for him, due to him not being the forgiving type and all. Davina maintains that she's not afraid, and proves it by pulling the white oak stake out from inside her jean jacket. "You out to get yourself killed?" Kol asks, half-impressed and half-incredulous, but Davina states that she's out to get even with Klaus, and informs him that he'll be helping her before climbing into Kol's car. Kol, knowing that this plan will probably be nuts, reluctantly follows after her and gets into his car to leave as well.

Inside, Klaus is doting on Cami, who is still very pale and weak looking. He is treating her bite wounds on her neck (which, why isn't Klaus, or Marcel, or Hayley feeding her some of their blood to replenish her own blood supply and get her wounds healed up? If I was a human with a bunch of vampire friends, I would seriously have a stash of vamp-blood in my fridge to heal from pretty much everything, let's be honest here. (Funny but mostly unrelated story-- last night, I had a dream that I knew Stefan Salvatore from TVD, and I kept begging him to turn me into a vampire and he wouldn't do it. And, when I woke up it made me wish that it would have been Klaus or Damon, because let's be real, we all know they would have done it. My unconscious is weird.) Cami is smiling at him when she notices his gaping chest wound that still hasn't healed. Klaus looks down at it and winces himself before taking her hand and squeezing it affectionately. "You pulled the stake out in the nick of time," Klaus informs her gratefully. "A moment longer, and I would have been done for." Cami smiles again and points out that it was the least she could do after making the mistake of telling him NOT to kill Mikael in the first place. Yeah, I think it's safe to say Cami is on the "Murder Mikael" train now, right?

"Well, he hurt you," Klaus explains. "For that alone, I will kill him." He gently touches the bite marks on her neck and admits that this is the first time in a thousand years that he has seen Mikael run from a fight, but Cami reminds him that he was still weak from Papa Tunde's blade, and didn't have his usual vampire-blood cocktail to juice him up. Hayley and Marcel walk in to join them as Hayley adds that Mikael also knew that he was outmatched. Marcel informs them that they swept the perimeter, so while Mikael fled to God-knows-where, he's definitely not hanging around there anymore. Klaus sighs in exhaustion and thanks them all for their help, but Marcel just shrugs. "Well, hey-- you die, I die. Just call me selfish." Hayley remarks that if Klaus dies, a LOT of people die, but right now, they have another problem they need to deal with-- Elijah, who is still missing.

At Lafayette Cemetery, Esther is continuing to watch Esther smirk at him while he hangs weakly from his chained wrists, kneeling on the floor in the most comfortable position he can get into with his arms suspended from the ceiling. He begs Esther not to do this anymore, but you know Esther-- she's not one to give up, and pleading doesn't do much to change her mind. "I'm afraid we've just begun," Esther explains with faux sympathy. "You will hand here, remembering. Every atrocity you've hid behind that door will emerge to haunt you. And, as you grow weaker, you will be ripped of your strength, your will, your HOPE. And, as you rot here alone, you WILL reconsider my offer. A new life. A way to be FREED of your demons. A chance at peace!" Suddenly, Hayley vamp-speeds into the crypt and grabs Esther by the hair before chomping down on her neck with her fangs and drinking deep. Once Esther passes out from blood-loss, she drops her unceremoniously onto the floor and hilariously flips her hair like the most adorably-bloodthirsty valley-girl-vampire out there as she smacks her lips, blood dripping down her face.

"Huh! That's about enough of that, don't you think?" Hayley says with a smirk. "I would have ripped her heart out, but she would have just body-jumped." She walks over to Elijah, who lets his head slump forward momentarily as he sighs in relief, and attempts to break his chains free. Elijah weakly instructs her to break the poppet above their heads to break the spell binding him, and once she rips the doll in half, she's able to break Elijah free. When she kneels in front of him to check him out, she realizes how weak he is and bites her wrist before handing it to him, insisting that he needs to feed. Elijah, clearly tempted by her blood, turns his head away, and when Hayley reminds him that he's weak and needs his strength, he looks at her with panic in his eyes. "I can't!" he argues anxiously. "I CRAVE you. My hunger, it could overwhelm me." OH ELIJAH, YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART.

He gasps as he tries to control his bloodlust, but he's still staring at her bloody wrist with longing. Hayley caresses his face with her hands and tilts his head up so she can look him in the eyes. "Look at me," she states firmly. "I'm not afraid." They stare each other in the eyes for a long moment before Hayley leans forward and begins kissing him, smearing the blood on her face from attacking Esther over his mouth as they make out passionately. When they finally pull away, Hayley brushes her hair off of her face and tilts her neck so that Elijah can feed from her. His vampire face comes out again, and though he tries to resist, he ultimately is overcome by the sound of her blood pulsing through her veins and bites on her neck to feed.

(via greerdanville)
Then, the camera cuts away to Finn, who is kneeling in front of Elijah, who's head is slumped on his shoulder, revealing that ~this was all just a dream~ of Esther's design. Elijah's eyes are still open, though he's asleep, and Finn seems both impressed and uncomfortable when he waves his hand in front of Elijah's face and gets no response. When Finn asks his mother what she did to him, Esther smiles and simply replies that she's letting him dream. "That's... considerate of you," Finn hilariously responds, a little unnerved by his noble brother hanging from chains in a trance. "I cannot lead him out of darkness by simply exposing him to the horrors of his past. I have to let him bask in the version of a better world to come." Um, how does having Elijah dream of feeding on/making out with Hayley make him think that becoming a mortal witch would be a better move? I LOVED this episode, but there were just these two or three things that I really did not understand. Anyway, the scene cuts back to Elijah's dream, where he has just stopped feeding on Hayley, who is panting in pleasure. He looks at her for a long moment, but it's clear he's still hungry, and his eyes darken as his vampire face comes out again. Hayley holds onto him tightly and nods at him encouragingly before he bites into her neck again and feeds. In voiceover, Esther finishes her speech-- "And, by the time he wakes, he will know the only way to find peace is MY way." DUN DUN DUNNNNN.

Next episode: Hayley, Jackson, Marcel, and Gia team-up for a rescue mission to find Oliver, in hopes that he can tell them where Elijah's being held. Klaus reunites with a familiar face from his past, and also has some quality time with his mother. Also, ESTHER AND MIKAEL FLASHBACKS.

[screencaps via Screencapped]


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