Emily Rewatches TVD-- Season 5, Episode 12: "The Devil Inside"

Alright, let's talk housekeeping before we dig in, shall we? Since school has been consuming my time and energy and soul in general, and have now been left with about six days until The Vampire Diaries' next season starts up, I'm going to finish up the seasons' recaps with some quick(er) and dirty recaplets to get us all caught up for the new season that starts next week! The little feedback I got on the first one seemed very positive about the recapping style, so it's likely that I'll be adopting it for this season's TVD recaps, and saving the usual format for The Originals. So, that's the current plan for the updates that will be coming as we return to fall TV season (hallelujah!), and I'm hoping that many of you will be sticking around, even despite the lack of Teen Wolf for the next seven months.

SO, let's talk "The Devil Inside," shall we?


Katherine, in Elena's body (which will henceforth be known on this blog as Kalena in the case that the person Katherine is interacting with doesn't know she isn't Elena) meets up with Matt in the town square and ripped off his vervain bracelet so she could compel him into spilling the beans on every bit of information about Elena so she could fit herself seamlessly into Elena's life without suspicion. The information she gained included Elena and Jeremy's birthdays (October 13 and June 22, respectively, just fyi), the address of the now-burned-down Gilbert House (2104 Maple Street), and the details of Elena's break-up with Matt, to which we weren't privy. Naturally, she also compelled him to keep the fact that she's Katherine AND that she compelled him a secret, so he couldn't even warn anyone about it.

We flash back to earlier in the day, where Nadia arrives at their motel room to inform Katherine that she somehow managed to get Mia the Traveler to give her and Katherine a 2-for-1 special on the doppelgänger blood she got from Stefan and Elena; Mia found a spell that would give Katherine full control of Elena's body AND agreed to perform it, but in order to do so, she needs Katherine's body, which just so happens to still be in the Salvatores' possession. Unfortunately for Katherine, since no one can know that she Passenger-ed into Elena's body, Nadia had to go retrieve the body herself. And, to make matters even worse for Katerina, Nadia had to handcuff her to the bed to ensure that, in the case that Elena regained control while she was gone, that she wouldn't be able to interfere in their plans. As you can imagine, Katherine wasn't pleased by this, but since she wanted to keep her hot, young, vampire body, she reluctantly complied.

As you can probably guess, Katherine's "death" has brought Damon quite a lot of (no doubt temporary) joy, even despite the fact that he ended up having to go out and bury her body because it was "stinking up the house." When he returned to Casa di Salvatore, Stefan was waiting for him, as Nadia had arrived while he was gone. The reason for her uninvited arrival to the boarding house was to kindly request that the Salvatore brothers give her Katherine's body, because apparently, Katherine's dying wish was to be buried with her family in Bulgaria. That would be really sweet, you know, if she was actually dead and not hijacking an innocent vampire. Anyway, Damon isn't willing to give Katherine even the tiniest bit of peace, though, and refused to hand her body over, which ends up being the right thing to do for the wrong reasons. He held strong in these beliefs, too, even despite Stefan's protests and Nadia's physical threats; Nadia might be the older vampire by 300+ years, but Damon has more than enough rage to give him the extra juice he needs to get her in a choke-hold against the door. Since Nadia can't fight back any more without tipping her hand as to what's going down with Katherine and Elena, so Nadia is forced to leave empty-handed and return to the motel.

Matt is in the process of leaving for work, only to come downstairs to find his new roomie Tyler passed out on the couch of the Lockwood Manse's living room, surrounded by the evidence of a one-man party the previous night. Matt eventually wakes him up to ask if he's seen his phone, and Tyler immediately grabs a nearby bottle of bourbon and invites Matt to join him in a little liquid breakfast. Of course, Matt is a responsible boy, and also a human whose body can't handle the massive amounts of grain alcohol that vampires and hybrids drink in the same way theirs can. Does being a vampire make you an alcoholic? Because I'm pretty sure bourbon has replaced blood in their veins at this point, and Tyler is taking this point so far that he makes Alaric look like a teetotaler. ANYWAY, Matt notices his best bro's current lushiness and asks him if he's ever going to give him the deets on his epic fail of a trip to New Orleans. Unfortunately for Matt, Tyler doesn't want to talk about it. "Well, there were witches, gumbo, a few Originals... Look, it doesn't matter, because it's over." Matt knows there's more to it than that, but doesn't push it, and instead reminds Tyler that they're having a party in his honor that night, so he needs to clean up the house AND himself before Matt gets off work. Aw, I love Matt so damn much. He's the best.

Over at Whitmore, Aaron has just showed up at Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie's dorm room, where Caroline is frantically cleaning her feelings in hopes of scrubbing the memory of her hot hybrid sex with Klaus out of her brain. Apparently, Aaron came to see Elena, but when he realizes that it's just Caroline at the dorm, he decides to take off. Caroline, ever the polite hostess, offers to pass on a message to her when she sees her, so Aaron informs her that he got access to his full trust fund and immediately cut off all funding to Augustine/Wes' research, so Wes shouldn't be a problem for them anymore. He apologizes to Caroline for what he did to them, and asks that she tell Elena the same before he takes off and heads back to his apartment. Of course, since both his family's history and his association with Wes has made him a bit of a vampire magnet, so it's no surprise that Enzo, of all people, managed to track him down. He smirks and tells Aaron he's just the person he wanted to see before we cut to the break, so WONDERFUL.

Stefan, still at the boarding house, calls Caroline to ask her for an itty-bitty favor-- since Damon kind of went off the rails after he broke up with Elena, Stefan told him to try to get her back, since they were both clearly miserable. Naturally, Caroline isn't really a fan of what comes next, which is that Stefan needs her help in talking to Elena, since she seems to be ignoring Damon's calls, which is driving Damon up the wall. When Caroline rejects his request on the grounds that she doesn't think Damon and Elena are good together, Stefan asks her how she would feel if she was judged solely on the basis of who she's attracted to, which immediately makes her paranoid that he knows about her fucking Klaus in the forest. Caroline finally has her change of heart and claims she will talk to Elena; the problem is, she's not even at Whitmore, so it's kind of hard to talk to her about it. This instantly pings Stefan's shadiness radar, because apparently "Elena" told him she was going back to school, and told Caroline that she was staying at Casa di Salvatore, which begs the question: where in the world is Elena Gilbert?

Katherine is still handcuffed to her bed at the motel, and when Elena's phone rings just out of her reach on a nearby table, she whines under her breath about how needy Elena's friends are. Suddenly, the room starts to spin in Katherine's vision, just as her eyes flick black before returning to their normal brown. That's right, Elena is back in the driver's seat for the time being! Naturally, she is pretty freaked out when she doesn't recognize her surroundings, but it takes all of five seconds for her to figure out what Katherine did to her. Luckily, that rage helps bolster her strength to the point that she can break free of her restraints, but she makes the fatal error of getting distracted by her ringing phone, which gives Nadia the opportunity to sneak up on her before she can leave. When Nadia greets her, Elena wastes no time calling her out on putting Katherine's life force in her instead of herself, but all Nadia has to say is "Vjyít," which returns Katherine to control over Elena's body. Of course, Katherine is pissed, but not surprised that Elena is fighting with her internally over control over her body, so she insists that they complete the spell quickly so they don't give her any chances to interfere. When she asks Nadia if she got her body, Nadia just glares at her, clearly getting sick of Katherine's attitude.

Meanwhile, Stefan has taken Damon to the Grill for drinks in hopes of talking some compassion into him. Damon continues to argue that Katherine "is exactly where she always belonged" and that he will not be giving her body back to Nadia. Stefan calls him out on the fact that Elena not returning his calls is making him miserable, which Damon outright confirms before adding that since Stefan was the one who told him to get her back, it's pretty much his fault. Stefan, however, correctly argues that he's in this mess because he did what he always does-- he had a problem, he got scared, and he ran for it instead of dealing with his problems. Damon is in the middle of telling his little brother that, as usual, he's enjoying Damon's misery a little too much, but Caroline approaches their table and immediately gives the boys an unsolicited sit rep-- Bonnie took Jeremy to visit her mother, and neither of them have talked to Elena since they left. Of course, Damon isn't really in the mood for Vampire Barbie and Mr. Self-Righteous tag-teaming him, and asks her who invited her in the first place.

STEFAN: "I invited her. Caroline agreed to help you get Elena back."

DAMON: [incredulous] "YOU? You hate me! You once told me that calling me Satan was an insult to Satan!"

CAROLINE: [shrugs] "Well... nobody is perfect."

DAMON: "Mmhmm." [turns to Stefan] "So, this is what it's come to? You bring me love advice from Prudy Trudy?"

CAROLINE: [offended; remembers her sex romp with Klaus] "I can be unpredictable and incredibly reckless!"

BAHAHAHA. Oh, Caroline. Oh, Damon. Anyway, Damon correctly guesses that Stefan and Caroline are really there to babysit him to make sure he doesn't do something totally stupid, and immediately flounces as he insists that he doesn't need either of their help. Once he's gone, Stefan looks to Caroline and states they should probably try to get a hold of Elena again.

Back at the motel, Katherine is getting increasingly annoyed at the volume of phone calls and texts she's been getting on Elena's phone, and insists that she's never met a group of needier people in her entirely long life. No, it's more like you haven't ever had anyone who truly loved you (except Nadia) because you've done nothing but backstab and screw people over to survive, so there's never been anyone to notice that you were acting weird and then get concerned enough to try to figure out what it is. I know for the most part, Katherine can't really control the circumstances that made her this way, but still, she can't deny that her actions have put her in this position. ANYWAY. She reads the texts aloud mockingly, while Nadia sulks at the lack of attention she's getting from her mother. Nadia points out that they're clearly getting suspicious, which makes finding her body even more imperative, but Katherine is already starting to come up with a plan. Since Stefan texted her to ask if she was going to Tyler's party, she figures that she could just make an appearance, assure everyone that "Elena" is fine, and then casually ask Damon where he buried her body. Of course,

Nadia immediately nixes this plan because it's WAY too risky, especially considering they have no idea when Elena will manage to get control back. Katherine figures that Nadia should just come with her to call her back if that happens, but that's not the only potential problem that Nadia is worried about-- it's also the being around all of her friends in a party setting. Katherine reminds her daughter that she has literally impersonated Elena about a bazillion times, but Nadia insists that this is different, because in this case she's not pretending to be Elena, she IS Elena. "When is her birthday? What grade did her and Caroline meet? Where did she kiss Stefan for the first time?" Katherine concedes to Nadia's point, and quickly figures out a way to get all that information-- compel Matt Donovan, of course!

Speaking of Matt, he and Tyler are at the Lockwood Manse, where they're setting up for the party that will be starting in a few hours. Tyler, who still has Caroline on the brain, brings up the fact that since Matt has done a great job of keeping the home a "vampire-free zone" while Tyler was gone, since he technically owns the house, he'll have to invite their vampire friends in for the party. Matt correctly identifies this as a lame attempt to fish out whether Caroline will be coming (which she is), and informs him that she's already been invited in anyway, so whatever. When he asks Tyler if this means he wants to start over with Caroline and try to get back together again, Tyler dodges the question, nervous as to what his chances of that happening could be, and instructs Matt to go get the cups. Matt's cell phone rings when he steps away to get the cups, allowing "Elena" to invite him to the town square for some Q&A about everyone's favorite compassionate Petrova doppelgänger, and bringing us full-circle to where we opened the episode! Woo!

Damon has just returned to Casa di Salvatore from Stefan and Caroline's failure of an intervention, where he finds Enzo in the study. Once he makes it further into the room, he sees that Enzo has a dribble of blood trickling from his mouth and tells him he "missed a spot" before noticing a body in some kind of sack laying on the floor. Whomp whomp. When we return from the break, Enzo is warming his hands by the fire and using it as a good excuse to once again bring up the fact that Damon left Enzo to die in a fire in 1958. Damon points out that he's not allowed to make him feel guilty, because he saved his life, which makes them even, which gives Enzo quite a laugh. Damon finally gets around to asking what's in the bag, so Enzo goes off on a kind of Klaus-style monologue.

ENZO: "More like 'who.' Uh, since you and I last spoke, I've done a bit of soul-searching. Had a trip to the barber... did a little research... Which revealed to me that you killed almost every member of the Whitmore family in the years since you escaped, leaving just one alive each time to carry on the family name-- producing a whole new generation of victims for you to slaughter, exactly as you said you'd do back when you and I were cellmates."

Damon jokes that he likes to keep his promises, so Enzo admits that he's been too hard on him, and that maybe the Damon Salvatore he was friends with all those decades ago is still alive and here in the present. So, Enzo brought him a present-- Aaron Whitmore, who is in the bag Enzo brought, and who has already lost a fair bit of blood from Enzo having a snack earlier. Damon is shocked that he's still alive, so Enzo points out that he's wearing the Whitmore vervain watch, and that he thought it was fitting that he is wearing it before he's about to die. "So, do you want to kill him, or shall I?"

Tyler's party seems to be in full swing, just as Katherine shows up to enact her plan to find her body. Of course, Elena hasn't yet been invited into the Lockwood Manse yet, which immediately annoys Katherine, until shes able to find Matt nearby and call to him so she can get an invite. Matt apologizes for that awkward moment, so Kalena compels him to leave to "find some blonde to hit on" so she can continue her scheme in peace. As she makes her way through the party, she spots Stefan drinking nearby and immediately scrunches her hair a bit before heading over to see him. He jokes that she's actually alive, but "Elena's" reaction seems to attract Stefan's attention, so Katherine quickly changes the subject to the fact that Stefan Salvatore is drinking beer from a Solo cup, and asks if she wants him to show her where Tyler keeps the good bourbon.

Stefan changes the topic back to her, though, and points out that Caroline was about to send out a search party for her before asking where she's been. Kalena tries to brush it off as "processing" all of this Damon stuff, which gives Stefan the perfect opportunity to put in a good word for his big bro. "You know he made a mistake, right? He wants you back." Kalena replies that she knows, and then brings up the fact that this has to be weird for him. He admits that yeah, it is, but he knows Damon, and he knows he's a better person with Elena. That's when Katherine gets annoyed with all the Damon talk and decides to get right to the point.

KALENA: "So, how are you? How are you dealing with the whole Katherine-dying thing?"

STEFAN: "I'm okay."

KALENA: "Stefan, you don't have to hide your feelings."

STEFAN: [notices "Elena's" insistence on changing the subject] "No. Honestly? I'm okay. You know, we had a thing, it ended and she died, and I'm fine."

KALENA: [swallows down her offense] "You knew her for like... 150 years! You're not even a little heartbroken? I mean, even I feel a little bit bad. Maybe we should give her, like, a funeral or something?"

STEFAN: [confused] "A funeral?"

KALENA: "Where is she buried? I should at least drop off flowers, or something."

STEFAN: "I have no idea. Damon said he put her 'where she was always meant to be.'"

Katherine immediately realizes where Damon put her body (hint: think back to early-to-mid season 2) and proclaims that to be "Classic Damon" before beginning to plot her next move.

Back at the boarding house, Damon is trying to stall having to kill Aaron by plying Enzo with drinks, but he knows Damon and calls him out on his attempts to buy more time. He argues that killing Aaron will bring them both closure and a new beginning. Damon asks if Enzo asks ALL of his friends to prove their loyalty by killing someone over shots of bourbon, but Enzo reminds his old friend that since Aaron's grandfather cut their eyeballs open with a scalpel, among many other horrifying things, and points out that since Damon has literally taken out everyone else in the family, what's the problem with ending the life of the last one? Of course, Aaron is Elena's friend, and he knows that his chances of winning Elena back will be nil if he kills him, so Damon vaguely explains that Aaron is a "friend of a friend." Enzo suggests that Damon has gone soft, and urges Damon to end this for both of them by killing the kid once and for all.

However, his pleas are cut off by Damon's phone ringing; it's Caroline, who informs him that Elena is at Tyler's party, which means he needs to get there pronto to make his move. Just as he hangs up, Aaron starts to stir, and Enzo states that Damon needs to make his decision already. "Do you want to kill him, or shall I?" Damon takes a short moment to consider his options before vamp-speeding over to Enzo and snapping his neck. Aaron, now fully conscious, is stunned and admits he didn't see that coming, but Damon just curtly informs him that he can't kill him. Aaron knows the truth, though, which is that Elena would hate him forever if he did (which isn't actually true, but okay), which annoys Damon enough that he rips the vervain watch off of Aaron's wrist and turns on the compulsion eyes. "Go back to college, pack up your entire life. There's one road that heads out of town. Take it north until you hit ice. Don't ever come back."

Nadia has been hanging out of sight outside the Lockwood Mansion while she waited for Katherine to join her, and when she does, she's carrying a bag of trash. Nadia comments on her domesticity, but Katherine snits that this is apparently something that Elena did all the time. "I'm actually starting to feel sorry for her." Nadia gets to the point and asks if she managed to find out where her body is, so Katherine shares the "riddle" Stefan told her and explains the reasoning-- for 145 years, Damon believed Katherine had been trapped in a tomb under old Fell's Church after the 1864 vampire round-up (which, unbeknownst to everyone, Katherine actually orchestrated), so obviously, Damon put her back there because that's where she was always supposed to be. Nadia orders Katherine to say her goodbyes, because they can't have anyone following them, so Katherine heads back into the party.

Caroline spots Kalena as soon as she rejoins the party and rushes toward her to tell her how she's been looking for her everywhere. Kalena lies and claims her phone is dead, and asks her what she wanted to talk about, so Caroline finally drops the truth bomb that she "did a bad thing." Kalena, in a hurry to leave, absentmindedly replies that she's sure it wasn't THAT bad, but Caroline insists that she can't say that because she doesn't even know what she did. Kalena goes to leave, but Caroline stops her and emphasizes that this is important, so she sighs and apologize before asking what happened.

CAROLINE: "What would you say if I told you that when a certain awful person was in town, I ran into him in the woods, and sort of kissed him? He was there, and obviously wanted to kiss me, so I thought, 'We'll just make out.' But then, it felt really GOOD to kiss him, so then I kind of--totally---had sex with him. But, I swear, I didn't plan to do it. Now, I feel terrible."

Katherine, who has always had a soft spot for Caroline, especially since they lived together at Whitmore, asks her who this mysterious, terrible person is, and is completely shocked out of her mind when she finds out it's Klaus. Caroline begs Kalena to tell her what an awful person she is, but surprisingly, Kalena just replies that Caroline is one of the least-awful people she knows. Then, she spots Tyler coming down the stairs out of the corner of her eye and realizes she has the perfect opportunity to distract everyone so she can do the spell to permanently take over Elena's body without interference. Knowing that Tyler will be able to hear their conversation with his hybrid hearing, she asks Caroline how her hot hybrid sex was in comparison to Tyler, which just makes Caroline blush, as her back is to Tyler and thus she has no idea he's even listening. "Caroline Forbes! Come on! Spill the beans! Now that you've slept with Klaus, how was it?" Caroline refuses to answer, because she was raised a polite Southern girl, but when Kalena sees Tyler clearly listening in on them, she feigns horror at the sight of Tyler behind them and says, "Oh my god." When Caroline sees Tyler, she's horrified, obviously, allowing Katherine to slip away with a wry smile on her face. SHIT SHIT SHIT.

Since she managed to distract everyone long enough for her to get out of the party, Katherine heads straight to one of the tombs in Mystic Falls' cemetery, where Mia and Nadia are waiting for her. After Mia has snarked about how long it took her to get there, she informs Katherine that to seal her spirit inside Elena's body, she needs some of her blood, so Katherine holds out Elena's hand so Mia can cut it with the knife. After that, Mia takes the same knife and stabs Katherine's corpse with it, which doesn't please Katherine at ALL, and understandably so-- it'd probably be pretty surreal to see someone mutilating your dead body, you know? Anyway, Mia explains that Travelers don't have access to traditional magic, for reasons we will be learning in a few episodes, so they have to improvise in order to do spells. She then tells Katerina to shut the hell up so she can concentrate on the spell. While Nadia and Mia are distracted, Elena manages to regain control, but wisely keeps her alarm to a minimum, so no one notices the difference. Trying to fish for information, Elena asks what happens next, but Mia insists that if she wants Elena to stay out of her way, she needs silence for the spell. Nadia can tell something is off, but when she asks "Katherine" what's up, Elena does a very good Katherine impression and snits, "Save your daughterly concern, I'm fine." Nice, girl!

Back at the party, Tyler has made his way to his late father's office, where he is taking shot after shot of bourbon. Caroline followed him upstairs to talk, but as you can probably guess, he has no interest in talking to her, or even being around her. She tries to explain, but he cuts her off to give his own explanation-- Klaus has killed thousands and thousands of people, including Elena's aunt Jenna, his first unsuccessful batch of hybrids, and Tyler's entire hybrid pack who were composed of his good friends, not to mention his own MOTHER; plus, in general, Klaus has made their lives miserable, between turning Tyler into a hybrid, abusing the sire bond, and orchestrating plans that involved Caroline getting bitten TWICE by hybrids and nearly dying. He grows more and more angry until he eventually smashes the glass from which he was drinking.

Caroline feels absolutely horrendous at this point and starts profusely apologizing, but there's not much she can do to make anything better for either of them. He orders her to just get the fuck away from him, but Caroline is feeling so shitty that she's trying wayyyy too hard to fix things that just can't be fixed, so eventually, Tyler whips out his fangs and growls at her to scare her away. Unfortunately for him, Stefan hears the commotion and walks in just as Caroline hops back in shock, so Stefan storms in and shoves him against the wall and tells him he's being a drunken idiot. When he asks what the fuck is wrong with him, Tyler sneers, "You don't know? She screwed Klaus!" Stefan looks pretty hurt for one millisecond, so much so that Caroline frantically runs out of the room. Still, he totally ends up surprising me by punching Tyler right in the face instead of dogpiling on Caroline. "You know, drunk or not, she doesn't deserve that," Stefan spits, before taking off. Holy shit! I actually really like Stefan right now, omg.

In the tomb, Elena is desperately trying to figure out how to get out of this terrible situation she's in. Nadia senses what she believes is her mother's nerves, and brings up the fact that Katherine never told her where she wanted to go when this was all over. Before Elena can come up with a convincing answer, Mia interrupts and tells Nadia to shut up, because she'll be done in just a few seconds and then it'll be over. Elena starts to panic even more, and eventually decides to zoop toward Mia and shove her against the wall, knocking her out. Before Nadia can say "Vyjít," Elena stakes her in the gut and vamp-speeds her way the fuck out of there.

Meanwhile, Damon has just arrived to the Lockwood Manse after snapping Enzo's neck and telling Aaron to get the hell out of town, and is fully ready to win back his girlfriend, but when he gets to the doorway, he can't get in because Matt never invited him. When he can't find Matt anywhere nearby, he eventually decides to go around the back in hopes of finding him there.

Nadia struggles to remove the stake that just barely missed her heart while she tries to wake Mia. When she finally comes to, she asks Nadia if she's okay, but Nadia insists that she just finish the spell.

Elena, however, has run off from where they were doing the spell and is desperately trying to call someone, but Katherine put a lock code on the phone that Elena can't figure out, so she can't call for help. Out of options, Elena zoops toward the Lockwoods, in hopes that everyone will be there at the party.

Mia restarts the spell and starts chanting again. The camera cuts from Elena running through the woods and the spell being cast in the tomb. While Elena speeds as quickly as she can to the Lockwood Manse, Katherine's memories begin flooding through her head, starting with her father ripping newborn Nadia out of her arms. Elena knows enough about magic to know that this isn't at all a good sign, and starts clutching her head as the memory of Katherine being introduced to Klaus by Elijah for the first time in 1492. Elena yells, "Katherine, get out of my head!" as she's hit by another memory, this time of 1864 Stefan kissing her and telling her he would love her forever. In the tomb, Mia is continuing the spell, while Elena sees even more memories of Katherine's: trying to kiss Stefan in 02x01 and getting called out, stabbing Stefan later in the same episode with a fence pike, biting Jeremy's neck in 04x14 and feeding him to Silas on the island, and Elena force-feeding Katherine the cure during their epic fight in 04x23. Finally, Katherine's corpse is set alight and Mia completes the spell. Elena runs into a clearing and sees Damon standing on the Lockwood property and immediately dives into his arms, so happy to finally see a familiar face who she can tell what the fuck just happened to her.

Unfortunately for her, Elena's eyes go back while she's still in Damon's arms, and she doesn't even get a chance to tell Damon what happened before Katherine regains control of Elena's body permanently. I HATE THIS SO FUCKING MUCH. When Damon asks her what's wrong, Kalena informs him that they need to talk, to which Damon replies that he agrees, because he has things to say to her.

DAMON: "I wussed out, Elena. I bailed because I was convinced I'd ruin you."

KALENA: "That's not what this is about, Damon."

DAMON: "I know. Just hear me out. Just hear me out. You are literally the best person I have ever known, and for me to think that I could change you gives me way too much credit, and you not nearly enough. You are the best influence on me. I need you. You are the good... and I need a little good in my life. Because without it, there's a whole lot of darkness."

Kalena points out that that's a lot of pressure, which isn't exactly untrue, but when Damon tries to explain himself better, she cuts him off, because once again, Katherine just can't fucking help herself. She concedes that "Elena" loves that she makes him a better person, and that she loves that she makes him happy, but she doesn't want her to be the only thing he has to live for. She's worried about what's going to happen whenever they get in a fight, or break up again, and who he's going to take it out on when that happens. Damon's like, "Bwuh?" because he doesn't understand where she's coming from on this, so Katherine just continues pushing her luck. "I know what you did to Katherine, Damon! She was weak, and dying, and you still tortured her." Damon is totally confused, because why wouldn't he be? Since when does Elena Gilbert give a fuck about Katherine Pierce? She tried to kill Elena multiple times, actually killed Caroline, was the one who forced Tyler to trigger his werewolf curse, turned over Aunt Jenna to Klaus to save herself, caused Jeremy's death (because Silas wouldn't have been able to snap his neck had she not fed Jeremy to him first), and just generally made her life miserable, much like how I was just explaining Klaus' actions against the group.

So, the fact that Damon was so overwhelmed with the gravity of Kalena's words that he didn't actually take the time to think about how un-Elena-like they were just kills me. He asks her what the fuck any of this has to do with Katherine, so Kalena backpedals and says that it's not about her, it's about Damon, and how she can't change who he is, and how he was right to let her go. She sees Stefan approaching them behind Damon and knows he'll be eavesdropping, so just to twist the knife even more, she finishes with, "I'm sorry, Damon, but it's over. We're over." She turns away to leave Damon to process this load of shit he just received, and smiles slyly as she walks away. Stefan calls out to Damon, but Damon's not in the mood. "Come on," he snits. "Deep down, you gotta be enjoying this a little bit." Ouch!

The party seems to have wound down by this point, which is probably a good thing, considering none of its guests seemed to be having a good time anyway. Matt is cleaning up a bit when he ends up back in the living room, where Tyler is chilling by himself, drinking once again. Tyler asks Matt if he knows what Tyler realized this evening, but Matt can tell by the look on his face that this is totally a rhetorical question and elects not to answer it.

TYLER: [drunk] "This is a big-ass house. I live in a freaking MANSION. My parents are dead, the girl that I love slept with my nemesis, and I have no idea what I'm going to do with the rest of my life; which, get this-- lasts FOREVER."

Matt still doesn't know what to say, but does get a weak chuckle or two out of what Tyler has to say, especially when he finishes up with, "But, I got a big-ass house." He thinks that maybe they should get out of town for a little while to get some time away from the drama of Mystic Falls, but Tyler's starting to fall apart at this point. He admits that Klaus put him through hell in New Orleans, literally crushed him, and just when he thought that Klaus couldn't hurt him any worse than he's already been hurt, he goes and sleeps with Caroline. He starts to break down, and you can tell that Matt feels really bad for his BFF, but has no idea how to help him. So, he just comfortingly rubs Tyler's back and chills with him so he's not so alone.

Back at the tomb, Mia is cleaning up the stuff from the spell so no one knows what went down in there. Nadia asks her if she's sure that the spell worked, so Mia assures her that Katherine has full control over Elena's body. She turns the topic of discussion to the payment they had talked about beforehand, but before she can say any more, Katherine appears out of nowhere and rips her heart out from behind. Nadia seems a little annoyed at this casual murder and asks if that was really necessary, but Katherine insists that she was a loose end, which we all know Katherine hates. "Oh," Nadia replies. "She gave me the creeps anyway." Katherine points out that Nadia's cold, manipulative exterior and great hair really does show that she is her daughter, but Nadia tells her to save it for the road. That's when Katherine drops the bomb on her-- she's so not leaving, not anymore.

"For the first time in the last 500 years, I'm in the clear! There's no one coming after me. Hell, half the people in this town would probably slit the wrong throats to protect Elena Gilbert." Nadia isn't really surprised, but also isn't at all impressed, and asks her where that leaves her, so Katherine reminds her that while she is a grown woman and can do what she wants, she thinks she should stay. She warns that she makes no promises to be Mother of the Year, but she claims she'll try to at least be a semi-decent one. Nadia replies that she's been looking for her for too long to leave now, but correctly guess that Nadia isn't the only thing Katherine wants with this new life. "You're right," Katherine admits. "I want it all. I want my daughter, I want immortality, and I want Stefan Salvatore. He's my one true love." Nadia claims she'd hate to be the person standing in her way, which is hilarious, because of what comes next...

Caroline is drinking and wallowing in front of the fireplace at the boarding house when Stefan finds her and joins her. He tells her he's been looking all over for her, but she claims she couldn't find a rock big enough to crawl under. Hee! Caroline then asks him to give it to her straight, because she can always count on him to do that-- is she a horrible person? Stefan just laughs, and asks her what her first thought was when she heard Stefan hooked up with Katherine. Caroline giggles and admits that she thought it was totally gross, which just proves Stefan's point-- "See? And if you held that against me, you wouldn't be sitting here right now, with me, would you?" Caroline points out that it's more likely she came here because she knows Stefan always sees the best in people, which is when Stefan does something so cute and charming that I may have actually fell in love with him again for the first time since, like, season 2!

STEFAN: "Ahh. Well, somebody has to say it, so here goes! Are you ready? Caroline, you are a horrible person." [smiles] "You are thoughtless. You are shameless. You are shallow, and completely undependable!" [laughs]

CAROLINE: [laughs beside herself] "Hey! I'm vulnerable! Don't be mean!"

STEFAN: "You know what? Now that I think of it, I have no idea what Klaus saw in you! What was he thinking?"

Isn't that the cutest? Like, I seriously want to die a little bit. Anyway, the two of them just laugh hysterically with each other, and they both look so much lighter that I just can't help but ship them hardcore. THEY ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.

Finally, Aaron is doing what he was compelled to do, which is to pack up all his stuff and drive on the one road out of town. Of course, he sees a body sprawled out in the middle of the road and stupidly stops to see what it is. He asks the person if they're alright, only to find that it's actually Enzo. Whoops! Once again, Enzo informs him that he's just the person he wanted to see, and says that Damon was teaching him his favorite game. Aaron reminds Damon that he said that he was going to let him go, which Damon totally admits he tried to do. Scared, Aaron pulls out the Elena card and asks if she knows he's here, but that's when Damon gets hysterical and states that Elena is the REASON why he's there. "No, scratch that. I'm the reason I'm here." When Aaron asks him what he wants, Damon insists they both want the same thing-- to turn back time, fix things, and get back someone who they've lost. This is probably the wrong thing to say to Aaron, though, considering that Damon killed literally everyone in Aaron's family dating all the way back to the 1950s, and he tells him so. Enzo argues that it was justifiable, but Damon doesn't really think it matters, because either way, he did it, and liked it, because they deserved it, just like Aaron does.

AARON: [sneers] "Elena was too good for you."

DAMON: "I used to think that! Yeah, I had to be better to deserve her love, or she had to be worse to accept mine. I'd lay in the middle of the road, looking up at the stars and having conversations with people like you, trying to convince myself that killing them was a bad instinct and that sparing their lives was the right thing to do."

AARON: "So, what'd you do? Did you kill them?"

DAMON: "It doesn't matter. The point is, I was conflicted. Right now, in this very, very moment, I am crystal clear. You see, Elena thinks I'm a monster. You know what? She's right."

So, of course, Damon undoes about five seasons of character development by vamping out and chomping down on Aaron's neck and feeds deep until he dies. Then, he drops Aaron's body onto the ground, blood still dripping out of his mouth, as Enzo smirks. "Now THAT'S the Damon Salvatore I remember!" Really? Because I doubt you guys were feeding much while you were locked up in cells, were you? UGH.

NOTES:
-I hate everything about the Katherine being a Passenger in Elena's body story line, fo be honest, and also the fact that Damon teams up with Enzo and eats everyone because he's butt-hurt about Elena dumping him in a way that, were he to look deeper into what she said, makes it pretty obvious that SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG. Elena would never give up on Damon any more than she would give up on anyone else in her life, so she certainly wouldn't treat Damon this way, and even more certainly wouldn't be feeling sympathetic to Katherine, no matter how pathetically she may have "died." UGH.

-On the plus side, Matt is flawless, Tyler makes me sad, Stefan and Caroline are the cutest, and I'm super sad that it seems like we just got Bonnie back, and yet there has been no Bonnie and Jeremy? Dumb. And you wonder why it took me so long to get around to recapping these episodes, LOL. Revisiting them is kind of a chore, lets be honest-- the only ones I'm really looking forward to talking about is 05x15 "Gone Girl," 05x21 "The Promised Land" and 05x22 "Home."