The Originals Season 1, Episode 15: "Le Grand Guignol" Recap/Review

Eeee, so this episode of The Originals explains SO MUCH about EVERYTHING. About why Marcel never went looking for Klaus and Rebekah after Mikael showed up, why Klaus and Rebekah thought Marcel was dead until they came back to New Orleans a century later, and why Rebekah, Klaus, and Elijah are SO. FUCKED. UP. Because basically, Mikael is the fucking WORST, and not only did he quite literally create the monsters his children became by abusing them physically and emotionally and then forcing them to become vampires, but he also proved to be even more cruel and monstrous than even Klaus, of all people, could never possibly be. He's like the Gerard of this universe, willing to do whatever it takes to get his revenge, anyone or anything else be damned, and it's awful, awful, awful.

I just got talked about how flashback episodes when I talked about Teen Wolf the other day, and how they can be really good, or really boring, and while Teen Wolf leaned toward the latter, "Le Grand Guignol" was REALLY, REALLY GOOD, in a heartcrushingly depressing way. So good that I really don't even know what else to say, so I'm just going to get right into it, 'kay?

Previously, on The Originals: The witches of the French Quarter declared war on the vampires, though the real targets of their wrath were the Originals. Celeste DuBois, Elijah's former lover from the early 1800s, has been body-jumping into dozens and dozens of female witches over the centuries, and finally decided to take her revenge on the Mikaelsons--Elijah, for allowing Klaus to kill her; Klaus, for ACTUALLY killing her; and Rebekah, for inadvertently killing her again (while she was in the body of Clara Summerlin in 1919), along with her fellow witch and friend Genevieve. On the last full moon, Hayley was finally able to meet her new-found family members, the majority of whom have been cursed to stay in their wolf forms at all times, save for during full moons. One of the wolves, Jackson, explained to Hayley that 1) he's the wolf who has been following her and protecting her, and 2) while he is also a Crescent wolf, he's of the other of the two bloodlines, so they're not related by blood. Which is good, because he confessed that their families arranged a marriage between him and Hayley, back before much of their family was either killed off by the vampires, or cursed by Celeste (in Brynne Deveraux's body), as a way to unite their families again. Then, after learning Celeste cursed her clan, Hayley turned AWESOME and fully whacked Celeste in the back of the head with a shovel and kidnapped her. Oh, and in the late 1910s, Marcel and Rebekah were so frustrated by the fact that Klaus refused to allow them to be happy together, that they plotted with Genevieve to bring Mikael back to town to chase Klaus away, which Klaus found out from Genevieve in the present day. Naturally, he was so pissed that he tried to stab her with Papa Tunde's Knife of Excruciating Pain, but Elijah zooped in just in time to save her by stabbing Klaus in the chest with the knife, again, and ordered them to run far, far away. That will surely not have any negative consequences. WHEW! That was a lot of info.

This episode's cold open begins in a flashback to 1919, which was a big year in the Mikaelson's history, it seems. The Mikaelsons are all chilling at a jazz club, where a brass band is playing, and everyone is drunk and dancing and partying hard like they did during Prohibition. Elijah and Klaus are up at the bar with an incredibly gorgeous werewolf named Lana, and they all take in the scene before them. (I would also be remiss if I forgot to mention that Lana has the same crescent-moon birthmark as Hayley, which means she's in the Crescent Wolf Clan) "Well, this is a first," Klaus smugs. "Werewolves, vampires, witches, and dirty cops--all happy as clams and drunk as stoats." They all smile, and Elijah orders three shots as Lana crows about how much she loves New Orleans. Elijah passes out drinks and toasts to their accomplishments. "To a new era! Collaboration in the face of Prohibition." Lana toasts to them, and adds, "To your docks, their booze, and our theaters to hide it under. You're welcome, boys!"

Of course, Klaus is all up in Lana's business, and wastes no time describing how he'll find a suitable way to thank her personally, "in a manner befitting a werewolf queen," of course. She just playfully strokes his face and assures him she'll see him on the dance floor before she slinks off to join the rest of the lushies in the bar. Elijah is so impressed with their work to unify the supernatural community of New Orleans, and Klaus, who is so happy during this scene that it nearly kills me, insists that it was both their hard work that accomplished this feat. Elijah puts an arm around his baby bro and spins him around so he can take in the entirety of the party. "Oh, certainly, we worked together, Niklaus," Elijah concedes. "But this vision? This was all you." Aw, so, of course everything is about to go to shit, immediately, right?

Right. In the present day, Klaus is laying in his bed, suffering the effects of the Knife of Excruciating Pain yet again, as Elijah watches over him. "This was all you," Elijah reminds him, because poking the bear is totally a great way to get Klaus to overlook the fact that Elijah just stuck a torture device in his chest. Cami rushes into the compound in a hurry, which definitely confuses the crowd of henchvamps congregating in the courtyard of the compound. A rando vamp asks Elijah what she's doing there, because I guess the Abbatoir doesn't usually have humans over unless they're for dinner, but Elijah just beckons her into his study to talk without even acknowledging the lackey's presence. Cami figures he invited her because she figured out a way to help Father Kieran (have Cami and Elijah even really interacted much at this point? I might have to rewatch some of these episodes), but Elijah insists that while he has every intention of doing so, he needs her help first.

Cami isn't very pleased to hear this, because Kieran's condition is worsening by the hour, so she doesn't have time to mess around, but Elijah, who is losing patience, snaps "My brother has a mystical torture device buried in his chest, and the mother of his child is inexplicably missing. So, I can assure you, I have no time to play any games, either." Cami immediately gets down to business, and asks him what he needs her to do. They move over to Klaus' room, where Cami realizes pretty quickly that Klaus has Papa Tunde's knife in him, considering what Bastiana told her after Cami failed to follow her orders to do it herself. Elijah rolls up his sleeves to get ready to remove it as Cami asks him who stabbed him. "I did," Elijah admits in a very no-nonsense way. "And now, I intend to remove it. You might want to take a step back."

This is all very confusing to our Cami, because no one ever really tells her anything, so she just has to put together the information herself. She asks Elijah why she, of all people, was invited over to help, so Elijah reminds her that Cami is probably the only person that Klaus won't have the heart to cruelly torture/murder out of spite for all the shit that has been perpetrated against him in the last day or two. Elijah uses a scalpel to cut open Klaus' abdomen, and plunges his hand into his brother's thoracic cavity before adding, "Also, he speaks of you with what is a rare degree--for him, at least--of respect. I can see you challenge him to see himself and others in a new light." Which, naturally, is exactly what he needs right now.

He pulls the blade out of Klaus' chest, and they both watch as Klaus groans; Cami, especially, is looking pretty green at the sight of Elijah elbow-deep in Klaus' chest cavity. Elijah also explains that since Klaus will be weak for a little while as he heals, he'll need a babysitter and a vampire wet-nurse to make sure he doesn't go wild. Cami correctly points out that they have packaged blood in storage for this very reason, but since Cami is on vervain, Klaus will have to drink the blood more slowly, and it will make it take longer for him to heal, allowing Elijah to postpone whatever murder spree he's planning against Rebekah and Marcel, at least until they get a decent head start. Elijah turns to his brother, and assures him that while he apologizes for causing him harm, he also will not stand for Klaus taking his anger out on Rebekah. He then informs Cami that he believes that Celeste is planning a final move against them, so he's gonna take care of it, then he will deal with how to cure her uncle.

Speaking of Celeste, she's chilling in the bayou, her hands bound in front of her, leaning against a tree. Hayley and Eve each have a shotgun aimed at her, and the rest of their clan, still in wolf form, surround her so she can't try any funny business. Celeste is pretty exhausted and frustrated by this point, and she sighs. "So what's this, payback? Look, I'm sorry I tricked you. I wasn't after you." WOW, that is like the worst apology ever. Hayley and Eve aren't really impressed either, as you can probably guess. Eve retorts, "What, and we were just collateral damage? You almost burned her and Jackson alive in that plantation fire." Celeste starts to struggle against her restraints, but Hayley fires a warning shot just close enough to her that she stops moving. "Careful, Sabine, or Celeste, or whatever you like to call yourself. Sudden moves make me jumpy." She cocks her shotgun again before adding, "And homicidal." LOL, living with the Mikaelsons has taught her a lot, apparently. Although, she has always been pretty ruthless, even on TVD.

(via thevampirediaries)
Celeste is pretty skeptical that Hayley would actually kill her, but Hayley isn't an idiot, and knows enough about her from Elijah that she already knows all her tricks. The wolves all growl threateningly as Hayley tells Celeste what's up. "See, I know all about you. I know that you like to off yourself, and then jump into other people's bodies. Well, that's not gonna happen here. I know I can't kill you, but try hexing me, and my friend Eve here will kneecap you. Go for her, and then, well, I'll really make it hurt." DAMN, GIRL. She is SERIOUS. Sabine finally asks her what the fuck she wants, so Hayley reminds her of the fact that back in the 1990s, she was wearing Brynne Deveraux's meatsuit, and got talked into cursing her clan so that they would always be wolves, except for on full moons. I don't know why Celeste wouldn't realize that since she was surrounded by werewolves, in wolf form when it's NOT a full moon, chances are they were there because of the curse she put on them. Like, shit, that was only twenty years ago. That's barely any time at all for someone who has been alive in one form or another for the past two HUNDRED years, right? Anyway, Celeste assumes they want her help in a revenge scheme, but no, they just want her to undo the curse, obviously. Sigh, for someone as schemey as Celeste, she isn't quite hip to the groove, I guess.

Cami is still playing babysitter with Klaus, and jokes, "Wow, things I never thought I'd be doing--feeding a vampire. My sixteen-year-old self would think I'm really cool right now," as she holds her wrist up to his mouth. Klaus is starving, as always, so he starts chugging it so quickly that Cami has to urge him to slow down so she doesn't die of rapid exsanguination. She can't believe he's not more bothered by the vervain in her blood, but he just does his whole sadomasochist shtick. "As you may have yet to realize, Cami, the line between what brings us pain and what sustains us is far thinner than one imagines." Cami has Klaus' number, so she can tell he's doing that thing where he pretends he's talking about one thing, but really he's talking about the people who have betrayed him. Klaus snits that he's not in the mood to be psychoanalyzed, but Cami gives no fucks, and I love her for it. She asks him how he could hate his own sister, since they're family, but Klaus is still hurting from what he learned. "Because she has done what no one else has managed to do to me for 1,000 years--rip my heart out." Which leads us to a flashback to...

...1919, in that same jazz club, right after Klaus and Elijah bro'd it up over their conquest of New Orleans. Rebekah and Marcel walk into the club and approach the bar together for a drink, as Klaus and Elijah watch from a table. Klaus makes a comment to Elijah about how un-subtle their attempts to cover up their relationship are, but before he can stand up, Elijah grabs his arm and pulls him back with a warning to not cause any trouble. Instead, Klaus grabs a pair of glasses from the table and clinks them together so he can make an announcement. "I'd like to take this opportunity to draw attention to two people who have been sneaking around my back together. As we move into a new era, we require more progressive attitudes to match. So, to my loving sister, and my right hand man and best friend, Marcel. May they find joy in each other." 

Everyone drinks to their relationship, though Rebekah and Marcel just stand there, stunned at this uncharacteristic kindness from Klaus. Klaus, feeling awkward, yells at them all to get back to dancing and drinking, and approaches Rebekah and Marcel by the bar. "Over the years, I've thwarted your loves simply to protect you. I knew if we had to run again, your heart would be broken. But, we don't have to run anymore. We've found a home!" OH GOD. As if they weren't going to feel guilty enough about the stunt they pulled on him. Rebekah and Marcel are both screaming internally as Klaus kisses his sister's cheek and swans off to do god knows what. In the present day, Klaus laments how foolish he was to let his guard down and allow himself to be happy. OH GOD, I need to dig into this a bit.

We can tell by the way that Rebekah acts during the flashbacks of this episode, and even by the way she behaves in "Long Way Back From Hell's" flashbacks, that she immediately regretted contacting Mikael just about the second she did it. So, to make matters even worse, to know that Klaus had actually done probably the kindest thing he had done post-vamping, only to be screwed over by her, has got to be making Rebekah feel some conflicting feelings. And I mean, she had more than enough right to be pissed at him--we know she's been daggered at least 150 years of her millenia of life as a result of Klaus' cruelty, Finn was daggered for the majority of his life, and Kol likely was too, from what we've been told. Plus, he's probably killed more of her boyfriends than any of us can count, AND her mother. But, at the same time, both siblings just seem so sure that all it takes is ONE watershed moment of kindness on Klaus' part to help turn things around, and they just can't help waiting around to see if it'll happen. MAN, the Mikaelsons just give me so many fucking feelings, I don't even know what to do with myself.

When we come back from the break, we prepare to cut between Klaus in his bedroom, flashbacks to the jazz club in 1919, and Marcel and Rebekah in Rebekah's car. Klaus sits up on his bed and starts to put on his shirt as he continues to melodramatically describe what Rebekah did to him. "Turns out, they'd already betrayed me, and brought to town the one thing I'd been running from for father." Cami's super awkward about this, knowing what she knows about Klaus' father already, and just watches Klaus as he lays back down while she tries to figure out how to lecture him. "So, you're consumed by revenge you'll never achieve. Elijah implied Rebekah and Marcel could be anywhere in the world by now." Klaus just smirks, and admits that he's not so sure that's accurate.

FLASHBACK: Jazz Club--After Klaus' little announcement, Rebekah and Marcel sit together at a little table, as Rebekah marvels over the fact that they're actually allowed to be together, in public, with no fear of reprisal. Marcel agrees that it's amazing, but you can tell he's still a little nervous. Rebekah brings up the fact that it's been more than six months since they had Genevieve do the spell to contact Mikael, and he still hasn't shown up yet, and suggests that maybe Genevieve fucked up the spell or something. "Hey, if so, we dodged a bullet," Marcel replies, before kissing his girlfriend right there in front of everyone. Rebekah eventually pulls away, she chirps, "Right. I am off to speak at the Women's Temperance Society meeting to make sure the wives of this city urge their husbands not to drink." Marcel thinks this is hilarious, because she and her brothers are technically in the illegal booze trade now, but Rebekah quickly retorts that since everyone wants what they want more when they're told they can't have it, and gives her beau one last kiss for the road. At the bar, a man is watching the two. Once Rebekah leaves, we see that it's MIKAEL. Aw, fuck. You know he was just getting off of the fact that Rebekah was all, "Oh, he's not coming! Hooray!"

In the present day, Rebekah and Marcel are sitting in Rebekah's car, stopped right in the middle of a fork in a country road, while they discuss their options. Rebekah's of the opinion that Klaus is going to chase them until the end of time (or until they're dead, whichever comes first), and reminds him that no one can run from an angry Mikaelson forever. Marcel insists that this is why they need to go through with their plan. "There's only one way that we'll truly be able to hide from Klaus forever."

What way is that, you ask? Klaus, still in his bedroom in the Abbatoir, fills Cami and the rest of us in on the bare bones deets. "They'll need a cloaking spell, and for that, they'll need a witch." Is this part of how they hid from Mikael? And if not, then why didn't they? It's not like Klaus doesn't know witches who are willing to help him out, remember Greta and that other manwitch that Damon (I think, or was it Matt?) killed who did the body jump spell to put Klaus in Alaric? God, I miss Alaric so much. But, I digress.

We return to Rebekah's car, where Marcel is continuing to argue that Davina is their one shot to not getting their asses killed the second that Klaus finally finds them. Rebekah points out, quite rightly, that going back home is pretty much a suicide mission anyway, because Klaus has control of the Quarter, remember? "It's our only hope," Marcel maintains sadly. "We resurrect her, take her with us, and get out of town. Then, she can hide us from Klaus so he'll never find us." And, hopefully, they'll help protect HER from her absolutely batshit coven, because otherwise that's just mean. Rebekah brings up another great point, which is that they don't know which witch came back thanks to Davina's life force, so they don't know who to kill, but Marcel has an easy solution--just kill them all, duh. Honestly? I'm not at all opposed to that. Bastiana and Genevieve are only alive because of the girls who were sacrificed in the Harvest (with the expectation of resurrection afterwards), so as far as I see it, they're already on borrowed time as it is. Rebekah is in a very defeatist mood, and glumly reminds him that those three witches were able to incapacitate KLAUS, of all people, so they really don't stand a chance against them, either. Marcel's tired of arguing. "Look, unless you want to spend eternity looking over your shoulder, there's only one thing that we can do."

Klaus, who is relishing the drama of this story, picks up where Marcel left off. "There's only one place they can go."

Rebekah's eyes are pretty wet as she realizes what they have to do. She sighs, and leans back in her seat, which Marcel takes as permission to start the car and turn around.

Back at the Abbatoir, Klaus finishes that sentence by stating the obvious answer--"Home."

Monique is chilling at one of the crypts at LaFayette Cemetery, laying on the floor, reciting spells in French Creole. She stops suddenly when she hears footsteps, and snits, "When order is restored, your kind won't be allowed in here." Wait, didn't Sophie INVITE the Mikaelsons in? Did that spell die with Sophie or something? Anyway, they actually have a pretty enlightening conversation. At least, for them.

ELIJAH: "Well, fortunately, that day has not yet come. I need to find Sabine. I believe she's taken something important to me."
MONIQUE: [scoffs] "And you thought I'd help you? Sabine is one of us, committed to the rise of the witches."
ELIJAH: "The only think Sabine is committed to is the destruction of my family."
MONIQUE: "And that would be a bad thing, why?"
ELIJAH: "Like your mother, my mother was also a witch. A very POWERFUL witch. In fact, because of my family, her power runs through your veins. Now, once Sabine manipulates those around her, she will do what she has always done--she will jump into another body and disappear, leaving your witches powerless."
MONIQUE: [shakes head in disbelief] "No. She has the faith. She will see our power restored."
ELIJAH: "There's a way of guaranteeing this. I'll also secure the safety of yourself and your kind. [hands her a piece of parchment] Here. This is from my mother's grimoire. Celeste used a similar spell to body jump. If what Sabine says is true, when she sacrifices herself, all of her power will flow back into the earth. HOWEVER, if she has lied and tries to take another body, this spell will deliver her to a very different destination. Now, please locate Sabine."

Now, this is SUPER interesting. First of all, I think I mentioned in the last recap that Monique seemed to have really been brainwashed by her ancestors while she was hanging out on the Other Side, or in Hamnistigan, or wherever the hell she went while she was in limbo, and this week, it seems even more obvious that she has drank the witch kool-aid. Secondly, I like how Elijah reminded them of the HUGE power boost they got by consecrating Esther's remains, which, if I understand correctly, was absorbed by Sophie and then released into the earth again when she was consecrated so they can all share in it. I'm also very intrigued by this spell of Esther's, and how they managed to modify it to make it work. Can I get a TVD/TO Witchcraft Codex or something? I just want to know how everything works.

Down at the docks, Rebekah and Marcel have met up with Thierry, who seems to have been laying low since he ditched Klaus' crew a couple episodes ago. They explain that Papa Tunde is dead, so there are only three witches left to kill. Their plan is to grab Davina, wait for her to wake up again, and then bring her with them wherever they go. Thierry doesn't seem particularly optimistic, and for good reason. He pours himself and Marcel a drink, and Rebekah makes their case. "Look, we have one shot at this, and I know our chances of success are sweet-bugger-all, but we've got to do it. So, please, one stray dog to another--help us." Aw, that was the cutest statement EVER. Thierry seems impressed with her speech, but points out that most people don't beat those kinds of odds. "Have you?" he asks Marcel, as he hands him his glass. "I'm still standing here, aren't I?" Marcel retorts. "I've gone up against the worst of them all."

FLASHBACK, 1919 Jazz Club--It's late in the evening, and Marcel is having a drink at the bar when Mikael approaches him and informs him that he's a lucky man. "Men search the world over for a woman like her," Mikael adds, which--ew, first of all. Second, how the fuck would he know? His children want nothing to do with them and he's spent the last ~900ish years by that point trying to find them. Anyway, Marcel's shadiness radar starts to ping, but he doesn't recognize him, so he figures he's just some stranger. He coolly tells Mikael that Rebekah is taken, but Mikael just claims that he was just taken aback by how much she resembles his "departed wife" when he was that age. He insists that he's been traveling for too long, and is just finding comfort in finding some familiarity for once, so Marcel starts to lower his guard and apologizes for his loss. "Here's to old faces in new places," he says, as he raises his drink, and they toast.

"I've been in New Orleans for a day, and I find it to be quite surprising," Mikael explains. "Had I know of it's charms and fascinating denizens, I would have come ages ago. Don't suppose I have to thank you for that?" Marcel immediately gets on the defensive again, and I think part of him already knows what is happening, but he just hasn't quite figured it out yet. When Marcel asks him who he is, Mikael just chuckles amiably. "Oh, you're a smart man. I think you know." He pulls out the newspaper clipping that Genevieve sent him and hands it to Marcel as he quips, "I'm an intelligent man, myself." He turns on the compulsion eyes, and mindwhammies Marcel into having a seat and talking to him. OH SHIT THIS IS TERRIBLE. I had forgotten how much I fucking HATED Mikael during his brief stint on TVD. So, since Marcel is compelled to sit, he's forced to listen to what Mikael has to say.

MIKAEL: "Let me tell you what I learned about you this afternoon, Marcel Gerard. You chafe under the control of my son Niklaus, and would do just about anything to get rid of him. Even call the one man on earth who hates him more than you do. But, I couldn't understand what you hope to gain. Rule of this city? Well, as I said, New Orleans has its charms, but to call me, the one they call the Destroyer, the one who's burnt cities far more charming in pursuit of his children. But now, I see. You did it for love, the love of my daughter." 

Naturally, Marcel is adverse to any harm coming to his best girl, and despite his compulsion, he manages to slam his hands against the bar and grip it tightly as he tells him under no uncertain terms is he to touch Rebekah. Fortunately for Marcel, Mikael has no interest in harming his daughter, because she was always his favorite (because she's the BEST). He even claims that Marcel is free to have the city all to himself as well, as long as he does one thing--tell him where Klaus is. OH SHITTTT. This is an interesting twist! Because on the one hand, that's pretty cold--it's one thing to want Klaus chased off by Mikael, but it's another to wish his death! Even if he didn't know that killing an Original kills his entire bloodline too, it's still a pretty ballsy move. On the other hand, Mikael could have compelled that info out of him, if he wanted, and as we see at the end of the episode, Marcel didn't exactly get what he bargained for, either. Still, I'm liking it and also hating it (in a good way).

Klaus is getting restless by dredging up all these unpleasant memories, so he sits up and tries to push himself out of bed. He nearly keels over, but Cami catches him and pulls him upright as she reminds him that he's still weak. That is NOT what Klaus ever likes to hear, so he just groans and whines that he's still hungry, and tries to make his way to the kitchen for some blood bags. "You won't make it that far," Cami points out. "So, be a good little boy, and get back into bed." Klaus seems a little put out, but he does as he's told, and chuckles. "If I had a quid for every time a woman has tried that line on me." Cami snarks that he'd be flat broke, but Klaus argues that there are many women who have fallen for his charms over the centuries.

FLASHBACK, 1919--Klaus is rolling around in his bed in the Abbatoir with Lana the werewolf queen, and is totally getting his mack on until Elijah bursts into the room for a little brotherly cock-blocking. "Sleeping with the enemy, I see," Elijah says with a smile, but Lana just sasses him right back about how she's actually technically his ally now. Klaus holds up four tickets that he just so happened to have in bed with him while he's fucking his "ally," and remarks on Lana's gift to them--tickets to the opera to see "Le Grand Guignol." "They have a soprano to die for," Lana gushes. "I'll introduce you if you promise not to eat her." Elijah just smiles and retorts, "Oh, Lana, a good soprano is NEVER dinner!" Klaus instructs Elijah to have Rebekah invite Marcel to join them, and then hints that perhaps his brother should go find something else to do while he gets back to his sexual exploits. Oh, Klaus! I would say that he should really continue to keep having sex with people, because it makes him much more amiable and tolerable, but now that we know he can spawn children, it's probably best if he sticks to vampires and witches.

In the present day, Cami sighs and admits she's not at all surprised that Klaus is into opera, being the pretentious douche that he is. "I've always had a soft spot for Le Grand Guignol," Klaus confesses. "I like the story. It was a tale of forbidden love, a 'Romeo and Juliet' of sorts. On the day they are to marry, family and long-festering hatred intervene. Thousands are massacred. A father even kills his own child in the final act. I can almost appreciate the irony." He manages to get out of bed and stay on his feet, and stares at Cami all dramatically, as he does.

Back in the bayou, Celeste is sitting on a random tree stump. Her wrists are still bound in front of her, but she's still able to work her spell to undo the curse on the Crescent wolves by mixing up herbs in a mason jar. When she's done, she hands the jar to Hayley. "Here. It's herbs, ground into paste. It'll act as a conduit for the spell. On the next full moon, your people become human. Feed it to them, the curse will be broken." Hayley is understandably hesitant to believe her, with her epic history of telling lies, and suggests that Celeste could be trying to poison them all at once. Celeste swears that she's being genuine, though, and explains that though Hayley has no reason to trust her, she really does like Hayley, because she can empathize with her--she used to be in Hayley's place, caring for Elijah and wanting to be with him, and it ended up resulting in her death, plus probably hundreds of others. "This? Call it a chance for me to give to you what I was too in love to give myself--it's a chance to free yourself from the Originals." Eve, too, is skeptical of Celeste's intentions, and asks Hayley if they're really going to trust that she's telling the truth.

From behind then, Elijah's voice calls out, "Whatever she's promised you, it's a lie." Hayley immediately starts to explain what's going on, because she so desperately wants to help her family, and doesn't want to risk Elijah doing anything stupid to jeopardize it out of fear that Celeste was hurting her. She promises Elijah that she's fine, but he reminds her that she should not be trusted one bit, especially after all the things she's done to them. Hayley points out that Celeste is the only one who can help her pack, so Elijah brings up everything she's done--from the fake baby prophecy, which almost resulted in her death at Agnes' hands, to ganking the Harvest magic they intended to use to resurrect Davina, to torturing Rebekah and Klaus. Hayley gets it, but she doesn't see why they can't have it both ways. "I know you want revenge," she states. "And come the next full moon, when I'm sure her cure works, she's all yours." Elijah doesn't believe they have the means to keep her captive for the next month, because she's a powerful witch who has the annoying habit of offing herself and jumping into other hot young witches to further her agendas. "It would take an army," Elijah insists, but Hayley argues that she has one, and her wolf brethren howl behind her to back her up. "So, help me, or get out of my way," Hayley growls, frustrated.

Elijah freezes for a moment to consider his options, and I was SO sure he was going to give it a shot, but instead, he just zoops over to Celeste, grabs her and the werewolf curse cure, and vampspeeds away from them. Once they're far enough away, Elijah slams Celeste up against a tree and angrily tells her that she tricked Hayley. Celeste just smirks and corrects him. "It's no trick! You're holding the cure for Hayley's clan in your hand. If her wolves take that elixir, the curse is no more. They're free." Elijah reminds her that she was the one who put the curse on them in the first place and inflicted decades of agony against them, so he's finding it a little difficult to believe that she'd just remove the curse, without anything in return. When he asks her why, she replies, "Because it's the best thing I could do for her. And, it's the worst possible thing I could do to you." Elijah is completely lost, and asks her what the fuck she's talking about, so Celeste is eventually like, "Let me explain you a thing."

CELESTE: "[I'm saying] that, no matter what happens now, you've lost her. You destroy that jar, you kill me-- Hayley will hate you for snatching her family from her. Now, if you give her the jar, we both know that she'll leave you in the end to be with them, and I know that as long as she's alive and happy and fulfilled in ways that you can't even imagine, then I get my revenge. So, you decide! Give her everything she ever wanted and lose her, or deny it. See what happens then."

OH SHIT, that is intense and insane and also SO GENIUS. We've already seen Hayley spending more time with her family, and after being separated from them for so long, it's clear that she's going to be drawn to them, both because she's never known what a real family feels like in her life, and also because they know way more about her life before she was adopted, her parents, maybe her siblings, if she has any. They can fill her in on info and stories that she never got to know. And you know as much as Elijah loves her, regardless of what species she is, the werewolves are NOT cool with vampires, especially not the Originals, so they're not exactly going to be welcoming him. Plus, Elijah will want her to live with him in the family home, where he can spend time with her and the baby and try to be a family with Klaus. So, Celeste definitely isn't wrong when she claims that she'll be getting her revenge. I guess the question now, is: is Elijah noble enough to let Hayley go so she can be with her biological family?

Over at the docks, Thierry is meeting with Bastiana and Genevieve, all of whom are sitting at a table in one of the warehouses. Thierry asks where Sabine is, because he asked to meet with all three of them, but Genevieve just wants to get down to business. "Our meeting you at all is a courtesy for your being a friend to witches in the past, but courtesy has its limits. Now, you said you had information of interest to us." Thierry looks uncomfortable, and admits that Rebekah and Marcel came back for Davina, and informs them that their plan is to bring Davina back by killing the three of them. Gen and Bastiana just look at each other and smile, as if this is what they were expecting. Thierry pushes on. "Now, I can lead you straight to them," he offers. "But there's something I want in return." Bastiana asks what that would be, and Thierry just smirks and quips, "Your life." YES! I was like, is he seriously turning on Rebekah and Marcel? I was about to hate him even more than I did before, but this does redeem him a little bit.

He vamps out and lunges toward the witches, but before he can touch either of them, Bastiana hits him with a mystical migraine until he passes out onto the floor. Marcel zoops in out of nowhere and quickly slams Bastiana's head against the table, killing her. Rebekah goes for Genevieve, and throttles her against the wall. As Marcel rips Bastiana's head off for good measure, Genevieve starts to chant in French Creole, and gives Rebekah her very own mystic migraine. She screams in pain, which alerts Marcel to what is going on, and he rushes over to Genevieve, but she uses magic to light his jacket on fire.

"Follow me, and I'll turn you both to ash," she says angrily as she rushes out the door. After a moment, the flames on Marcel's jacket dies out. Relieved, he insists that they forget about her, and suggests they take care of her later, but Rebekah is pretty devastated. "Marcel, all we have is the element of surprise, and we have lost it. If we don't leave now, there will be no one to save US." Marcel reminds her that he already failed Davina once, and he refuses to do it again. Whatever my feelings about Marcel, one of my favorite things about him is his devotion to Davina. It's the one thing that makes him more than just some power-hungry foil of Klaus, I really enjoy watching it play out! God, I want her back so badly.

Klaus is pouring himself a drink in the Abbatoir's living room when Cami wanders in and finds him. She jokes that she's pretty sure the scotch is not going to do much to help his condition, but Klaus retorts that he's pretty sure it's not hurting him, either. Heh! Everyone in this universe is such a lushie. "You want to self-medicate your self-pity, fine," Cami snits. "Better scotch than my blood, no matter what Elijah says." Klaus is still being a big baby about everything, and is all, "DON'T SPEAK MY INFERNAL BROTHER'S NAME," but Cami just reminds him that Elijah loves him. And, it's true! No one in the world loves Klaus as much as Elijah does, no matter how pissed he gets at him. He's the one person who never truly gives up on him. Klaus agrees that his brother does love him, and snaps, "He proves it time and again, even when my father enlisted him to kill me." 

FLASHBACK, 1919--Elijah is in his room, getting ready to go to the opera that night, and stands in front of the mirror. He hears footsteps coming toward the room, and turns to find his father standing right in front of him. He's shocked as he listens to Mikael do his small-talk thing. "Le Grand Guignol. Saw it in Venice. Marvelous production." Elijah immediately becomes furious, but before he can start to yell at him, Mikael tries to reassure him that he's not here to hurt him, he just wants to talk to him.

ELIJAH: "You mercilessly hunt us for centuries. You laid waste to half of Europe! Now, you simply wish to talk?"
MIKAEL: "It was your bastard brother I hunted, not you! Never you! You're my blood, one that I'd be proud to call son. So, I came here to give you a chance to help me put down that whelp for good."

Elijah throws his father against the wall in a rage, but Mikael just throws him across the room, where he slams into the wall and busts a bunch of wooden splinters out of the wall in the process.

ELIJAH: "Do you really not know me? Do you think I could, or would, believe in anything that you say? You honestly believe that I would betray my own brother for you? You're a fool without equal."
MIKAEL: "I'll forgive you your sentimental affections for the thing you call 'brother,' but you need to realize, as I did, when I learned his mother had lain with a beast to beget him, that Niklaus is an ABOMINATION. You do not talk to abominations. You do not reason with them. Do not try to change them. You ERASE them. So, yes, I am asking you to help me kill your brother."

YIKES! Yup, Mikael is terrible. I feel like a lot of this stuff explains the way Rebekah, Elijah, and Klaus acted in TVD during the second and third seasons. Even when Elijah was helping the gang plot to kill Klaus after he sacrificed Elena to break the curse, he ended up choking at the last minute and saving him, and even though that resulted in him being daggered for god knows how long, he STILL won't give up on him. Elijah deserves better, tbh.

Back in the present day, Cami is extremely confused. "You keep saying 'kill,' but you're immortal. You can't be killed." Klaus explains that technically he can, since all spells have to have a loophole, but it's just very, very difficult, because the material needed to kill him, a stake made of an ancient white oak tree that doesn't exist anymore, is very hard to find. He bitterly recalls the fact that Mikael carved a stake out of the tree before they set it on fire, and he sought to use it on Klaus in order to take away the immortality that was forced on him by his father in the first place. The one thing I never understood about this particular bit of mythology is this--in this universe, if a vampire is staked in the heart with any kind of wood, he or she dies. If a regular hybrid, like Tyler Lockwood, or a regular Original vampire, like Rebekah or Elijah, is staked with wood, it's not fatal. I don't think we've ever seen a regular hybrid staked with a white oak stake, but I'm guessing it wouldn't kill them, so why should it kill Klaus? I feel like the rules for him should be the same as the rest of the hybrids--decapitation or cardioectomy should be the only ways to kill Klaus, just like it's the only way to kill Tyler. And, since Klaus is stronger and faster than anyone on the planet, the chances of either of those things happening to him seems pretty slim. But, I digress.

We return to the flashback to 1919, where Mikael pulls out his stake from his jacket pocket. Elijah lunges at his father again, but Mikael just slams him against the wall and aims the stake at his heart as Elijah desperately tries to use whatever strength he has to disarm him. "Stand with me, or fall with him. Choose, son," Mikael growls, which makes Elijah angry enough that he's able to throw his father off of him. "I will ALWAYS choose him," Elijah bellows, so Mikael just strugs, grabs a piece of splintered wood from the floor, and stakes Elijah in the heart with it. The only good thing about Mikael that I can think of is the fact that despite Elijah and Rebekah constantly standing with Klaus, he never did kill them. At least he draws a line SOMEWHERE, I guess? Killing tons of innocent people, compelling whoever he needs to whenever he needs to, burning cities to the ground without a care of who he's hurting is all fair game, but apparently he draws the line at murdering his own children. UGH, MIKAEL, YOU ARE THE WORST OF THE WORST.

In the present day, Klaus sums up what happened between Elijah and Mikael to Cami. He explains that Elijah still feels guilty to this day for not being able to neutralize/kill his father that day, though Klaus has constantly told him not to blame himself over it, since Mikael is a force to be reckoned with, and it's not like it's easy to fight him. His cell phone rings, interrupting him, but he smirks when he sees the message. "Oh, I hate to be a know-it-all. My sister and her lover have been spotted in town. So, story time endeth here, I'm afraid." He walks over to a statue resting on the desk and knocks it onto the floor. Cami watches him in confusion as he digs through the broken pieces to reveal that the indestructible white oak stake from TVD is hidden inside! OH SHIT!

Okay, so fans of The Originals who have NOT watched The Vampire Diaries, here's the scoop on that stake--back, like, a year ago (in the show's timeline, not in reality), Esther, their powerful witch-mama, tried to kill all of her children. First, she tried to use Elena's blood to link all of the siblings so she could reverse the spell on Elijah, Klaus, Rebekah and Kol, using Finn (their self-loathing vampire brother who was willing to die to kill all of them) to help. Her plan was to make them human, then kill Finn, which would kill them all. Unfortunately, they ended up killing the source of her magic and ruined the spell, so instead, she turned Alaric, one of the human characters, into an enhanced-Original vampire strong enough to kill them all, using that very stake. The stake is made out of white oak wood from a tree that was descended from the original one from like, 900 AD, and was then dipped in a melted Gilbert ring, which prevented the stake from burning up after it was used, because when an Original is staked to death, the body catches fire and the stake/body burns into dust. It was that stake that killed Kol, and afterwards, that stake has changed hands a shitload of times, given how valuable it is. I was pretty sure it was actually in Rebekah's possession, because I think Elena gave it to her as a peace offering at some point, and I completely that Klaus actually had it until this episode. So, nice call-back, show!

ANYWAY, Cami asks him what the fuck that is, so Klaus tells her basically what I just told you--it's a white oak stake, which could kill him, Elijah, or Rebekah, if it was used, and unlike Mikael's stake, it will continue to exist even after he uses it to kill his sister. SHIT. SHITSHITSHIT.

Cami rushes out of the Abbatoir and onto the street, where she eventually catches up with Klaus, who not-at-all-subtly feeding on a dude in the middle of the Quarter. She asks him what the hell he's doing, and he gets pretty snarky. "Well, if you have to ask, you obviously haven't been paying attention. I'm going to kill my sister, but first, I needed some sustenance with a little less vervain in it, no offense." LOL, I love how randomly polite he is with Cami. He sure does love blondes. I'm sure his affinity for tow-heads has absolutely nothing to do with the super-inappropriate relationship he has with his sister/his mommy issues. Cami makes her case to Klaus in an effort to keep him from committing sororicide.

CAMI: "When Davina showed me all you did to me, all you took from me, I wanted to kill you. I even thought about burying that blade in you, like the witches asked me to, but I didn't. I stopped. I thought. I weighed the good I see in you versus the horrible things I know you've done, and I realized if I hurt you, I'd be filled with terrible regret. You will, too, if you hurt your sister. Your SISTER, Klaus. As a person who has lost a sibling, who has felt that pain, you won't survive if you're the one who kills her."

DAMN! That is one find argument, tbh. Not only does she remind him that she DOES see good in him (just like another blonde Vampire Barbie that we all know and love), but she points out that he's been talking about how he's going to kill Rebekah to a person who lost her own twin brother in a brutal, violent, and traumatic way. She knows better than anyone what it's like to lose a sibling, and so that makes this personal for her. Unfortunately, by now, Klaus has lost THREE brothers, (Henrik, who was killed by a werewolf and whose death is what caused his parents to turn the kids and Mikael into vampires, and Kol and Finn) and it's pretty obvious that while he may have been pissed about it at the time, in the end, it's really no skin off his back, you know? So in the end, her words aren't enough to change Klaus' mind. "I'll tell you what I almost didn't survive, love--my sister bringing the most vile creature to ever have walked the earth down upon me." Cami has an excellent retort to that, too, though, and reminds him that while his dad is a terrible, terrible beast of a person, by chasing Rebekah and Marcel down and killing him pretty much makes him exactly like him. This hits Klaus right where it hurts, and he is NOT happy about it. Klaus insists that he may be a monster, but there is no one worse than Mikael, and grabs her to show her some proof.

Hayley is sitting glumly on a log in the bayou with wolf!Jackson when Celeste and Elijah return. She's surprised to see he came back, but Elijah assures her that he will ALWAYS come back to her. He holds out the mason jar of the herb potion and encourages her to use it on the full moon, with a promise that it will work. Hayley informs him that she and Eve will round up as many of the cursed Crescent wolves that she can to break the curse. She's thrilled that she'll finally have her family back in the next month, and hugs Elijah. "Hayley, I wonder if they have any idea how lucky they are to have you," Elijah admits as he holds her, and he gives her a kiss on the forehead before pulling away. Hayley smiles the prettiest smile, and walks away with Jackson back to the wolf encampments. Behind him, Celeste snits, "Hmm. That was touching. Such a chaste, little kiss. The Elijah I knew was never so meek." Elijah is tired of this game, and snaps, "Well, the Celeste I knew was never so cruel. What is it that you want? What's your end game?"

(via thevampirediaries)
Celeste just smirks that smirk of hers, and reminds him that the game never ends, since they're both immortal. Well, I mean, I guess she's TECHNICALLY immortal, but she's really just taking control of others' bodies and integrating herself into their lives. It's not really the same when you have to pretend to be other people, is it? Elijah asks her what the point of her game is, if she can't possibly win it, but as far as she's concerned, she has won. "You just lost the girl, the girl you never made a move on, because you were so desperate to save your family. And now, your family lies in ruins." I mean, yeah, he cares about Hayley, but I don't think it's the same kind of love he felt for Celeste back in the day, or even our dearest Katerina Petrova, you know? I feel like she's reaching here.

Elijah is sure that in time, his siblings will heal their relationships with each other, but Celeste, as always, knows way more than he does. "If you had the time, maybe," Celeste reasons. "But you really think Rebekah ran far and fast from here? I bet she didn't." Elijah, of course, doesn't believe her, but this time, he actually should, because she's telling the truth. "If you hadn't been so worried about Hayley, you might have figured it out sooner," she sneers. "But, you know who DID have the time to think about it? Your brother. I wonder what he'll do?" SHIT, did she seriously just use his love for Hayley against his siblings AGAIN? JFC. Elijah becomes FURIOUS, and vamps out as he grabs Celeste in a chokehold. YES! I have been waiting for-fucking-EVER to see Elijah's full vampire face, and it does not disappoint. She taunts him to do it, so he bites down on her carotid artery and drinks deep.

Back in the Quarter, Klaus reminds Cami that she knows the history of her city, and explains that in 1919, the night where he and his siblings were supposed to go see Le Grand Guignol, was the same night that his father burned down the opera house. Klaus insists that night was his father at his absolute worst behavior, which is truly saying a lot, given all of the terrible shit we've already seen him do.

FLASHBACK, 1919, Opera House--The house is completely packed full of people, and Klaus and Rebekah sit in a private box as they peer at the program. Klaus jokes that her first big date with Marcel has already gone off to a bad start, because even despite giving them his blessing, Marcel has yet to show up. Rebekah is sure that something has delayed him, but Klaus just can't help teasing her. "Or, now that your illicit affair is out in the open, he finds the whole relationship a tad lackluster, and has run off to Havana with a showgirl." OUCH, harsh toke, dude! Rebekah calls him a "toerag" and swans off to check to see if he's in the lobby. As she leaves, Klaus calls out for her to check and see if Elijah is there, as well, since the curtain is about to go up. After a moment, he sits the program down, and doesn't even notice that Mikael has entered the box and sat down behind him until he feels a stake pointed right at his heart, through his back.

"I would advice against trying to flee, boy. I can drive this into your heart before you can even think of getting to your feet, and I don't want you to die yet." Klaus is so flabbergasted at this turn of events that all he can say is "Father--," which Mikael naturally finds hilarious. He mocks him for still referring to him as his father all these years, since he's just a lonely bastard who is looking for his daddy, blah blah blah. He suggests that his real father would be just as embarrassed of Klaus as he was, when he found out that Klaus wasn't his son, which we'll never know, because Mikael KILLED THE GUY. Klaus gets so enraged that he reflexively goes to turn around, but once again, Mikael advises him to stay put, because he wants to have a little talk before he kills him. "Any words we have for each other have been spoken long ago," Klaus maintains. "But, know this--I am no longer the animal begging for scraps of your affection. I will die knowing my hatred for you was just. I will fall proud of all I have achieved here. So, Mikael, if you're going to kill me, then get on with it."

HOLY SHIT. I don't think I have ever been more impressed with Klaus. Though, to be fair, the story that has constantly been made in this episode is that Klaus was much more human back then, and that it was this encounter that really pushed him into the full-on controlling sociopath that he is today. But the fact that he had accepted his death, and was willing to allow his father to kill him because he could rest easy knowing all that he did for New Orleans? That just KILLS ME. And makes it SO MUCH HARDER to hear what Mikael has to say next, which is seriously some next-level psychopathic shit.

MIKAEL: "Au contraire, Niklaus. Some things remain unsaid. For instance, you were right to be proud of your achievement here. As I walked the streets, your name was spoken of in reverent tones by the city's finest. So, after I kill you, I will remain here in New Orleans until every last person who remembers you is dead. The deeds of the mighty Klaus will be remembered by no one. And you, boy, will simply have never have existed."

SHIT, that is the WORST. Starting with compliments and then taking everything away in a flash. All Klaus has ever wanted was to feel like he belonged somewhere, and once that dream was finally realized, his father shows up, and pulls probably the most horrifying stunt in all of TVD/TO history. As the orchestra starts to tune, Mikael becomes gleeful that the show is about to start, and grips Klaus' shoulder as he leans in and assures him that though he made some alterations to the show in his honor, he thinks Klaus will love it. The conductor taps his baton on his stand, and the curtains open to reveal Marcel, who is pretty much crucified on a wooden X, with stakes stabbed into his hands to attach him to the post. He seems alive, but is barely conscious. Lana is dead, with a stake driven through her heart and her mouth duct-taped shut, and propped up on a swing. There are several other bodies in similarly horrifying poses. To make the situation even more revolting, the audience just claps and cheers, as Klaus explains everything in voiceover.

"Mikael compelled the audience to watch it all, applaud as if it were the drollest of comedies, and then leave celebrating a terrific night at the opera." Flashback-Klaus runs up on stage and attempts to release Marcel, as Klaus' voiceover continues. "I tried to save Marcel. My father had other ideas. Rebekah attempted to intervene." Flashback-Rebekah runs up on stage, having been in the crowd, but Mikael just throws her onto the ground and stabs her in the stomach with a piece of wood. "All these years, I actually believed she was trying to save me." Except, she WAS trying to save him, because she regretted the whole thing the second it was finished. Klaus tries to attack Mikael again, but he just tosses him across the room as if he was nothing.

For those who don't watch TVD, Mikael doesn't feed on humans, he feeds on vampires, and I've always wondered if that would make him stronger. I mean, humans are alive, which is why vampires need their blood to survive, but vampire blood has all those magical properties that help heal humans and turn them into vampires, so you'd think it'd make them stronger, right? Plus, human blood helps vampires replenish their own blood loss, so it's basically like human blood is running through their veins, tainted by vampire magic. But, I digress AGAIN, sorry!

In flashback, the audience continues to laugh and cheer, and Elijah has finally healed from his staking to show up and help out. He sadly points out to Klaus that Marcel is beyond saving at this point, and insists that they need to run, now. Klaus picks Rebekah up and the three of them zoop away. Mikael quickly feeds on Marcel before grabbing a lantern and following after his children. In voiceover, Klaus bitterly admits, "And so, I ran, beaten like the dog my father believed me to be. And as we fled for our lives, he burnt it all to the ground, and with it, we thought, Marcel." We see Mikael approaching the exit as he walks past the audience, who are now sitting quietly and motionless in their seats. He throws his lantern onto the floor, and the opera house quickly catches on fire as the flames spread.

Back in the present day, Klaus wraps up the story, as Cami looks at him with a mixture of horror at what she just heard, and sympathy. "I lived, but all we had built had died, as did the last shred of me that felt human. That is what my father took from me that night." He promises her that he won't act like Mikael, by harassing and psychologically torturing them for centuries. Instead, he'll just kill them swiftly, and mercifully. Or at least, that's how Klaus sees it. He's killed people muuuuuch more cruelly for doing way less, that's for sure. He turns around and heads toward the cemetery, as Cami runs off after him and trying to get him to stop.

At LaFayette Cemetery, Celeste comes to on the ground, propped up against a grave. "Wow, you didn't have to bite me to get me here," Celeste groans. "I wanted front row seats to this show!" Elijah asks her what the fuck she's talking about, so she informs him that they're about to see the Mikaelson Trio's "Always and Forever" pact explode into smithereens. "It's a myth, Elijah, a myth I died for." Elijah points out that she looks pretty alive to him, which is an excellent point, considering how many women have died so Celeste could continue to live. He also suggests that she may not be alive for much longer, which is pretty hilarious to her. "Is that a threat?" Celeste sneers. "Oh, there's always another pretty, young body for me to jump into. From now on, every time you feel a connection to a woman, you'll be forced to wonder if it's me."

As she taunts him, she slowly backs away from him, towards the entrance to the cemetery. By the time she crosses the threshold, she arrogantly proclaims that he will never trust anyone again, and spend the rest of his eternal life all alone. He gets furious and lunges for her, but he's thrown back as he hits an invisible barrier, which just makes Celeste even more gleeful. She reveals that she put a boundary spell on the cemetery, so Originals can enter, but they can't leave. SHIIIIIIIIIIT!

On the other side of the cemetery, Marcel and Rebekah have found Davina's body in their family's crypt. She was wrapped in a white shroud, which Marcel removes just to make sure it's her. She looks pretty good for a technically dead person--her neck is still slit, but it almost looks like it's been healing. He covers her back up again and whispers, "I got you, D. I got you," as he picks her up and joins Rebekah again. They rush toward the exit, but as expected, Rebekah gets stuck at the threshold. Marcel turns around and realizes that something is up, and asks her what's wrong. Rebekah deduces that it's a trap, and orders him to run away and take Davina with him. He refuses to leave her behind, either, but Rebekah insists that he do it, and promises that she'll join them later--right now, his priority should be getting himself and Davina someplace safe. And, I mean, I get it--Rebekah is the least likely to die of the two, and they need to get Davina someplace away from the witches in the case that she finally wakes up. Still, part of me wonders if she somehow knew that this was going to end badly. So, Marcel gives Rebekah one last parting look before zooping away with Davina in tow.

Back to Celeste and Elijah. "Don't worry, it's a lunar spell," Celeste assures him with feigned sympathy. "You'll be free by the next moonrise. My guess is, your sister won't last that long." She waits a beat, and then adds, "Ahh, while this body has been a hell of a lot of fun, I do think it's time I find someone else to play in, don't you?" NOOOO! She picks up a candle in a glass off the ground and smashes it against a tree. She picks up a big shard and jabs it into Sabine's neck. She coughs several bloody coughs before falling dead to the ground. Monique comes out of the shadow of the neighboring crypt, and looks disappointingly at Sabine's dead body. "You were right." She points to a crypt, in a gesture to alert to Elijah that she had done the spell that he asked her to do earlier. In the crypt, Celeste wakes up IN HER ORIGINAL BODY, covered in a white sheet that is characteristic of this coven's consecration ritual. As you can imagine, this was NOT the body that she was expecting to end up in, which makes me laugh, but also makes me curious as to what her plan really was. Whose body was she going to take? And how was she going to be able to imitate them?

Elijah enters the crypt and greets her. She immediately gets to her feet and backs away from him, scared. "How is this possible?" she asks, in her lovely original Creole accent. Elijah is a little smug at the fact that he gets to educate HER on stuff that she doesn't know, for once. "Monique Deveraux and I had a little wager regarding your ability to keep a promise. It appears I won! You were so consumed with my downfall, that you lost the trust of one of your own." She realizes that Elijah is actually going to kill her, and that she's going to actually die, for real, without any ability to body-jump or manage some other dark-magic-related form of resurrection. "Mon cheri, non! Tout es possible! Ce n'est pas fini! Ahhhh! Desole! Ahhhh!" Celeste screams, as Elijah stabs her in the gut with Papa Tunde's blade. DAMNNN! That is gonna hurt for suuuuure. She screams in agony as she falls to the ground, but after a few moments, she's dead. Woot! Three shitty resurrected witches down, one more to go.

Marcel decided to take Davina to St. Ann's Church's attic, and has laid Davina on her old bed as he anxiously waits around. After what feels like an eternity, Davina finally awakens and starts to thrash under the sheets. YESSSSSS! YESSSSS! BABY WITCH, I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH. Marcel helps sit her up and wraps his arms around her as he promises her that she's okay and safe with him. "I won't let anyone hurt you." Unfortunately, Davina looks miserable, and something tells me the time that she was dead was not as pleasant as she was made to believe.

Klaus shows up at the cemetery, indestructible white oak stake in hand, and screams in rage for his sister. "REBEKAH! REBEKAH! Cherish the breath in your lungs! It'll be your last!" SHIIIIIIT, THIS IS THE WORST. And probably the worst-worst part of it all is that while Celeste, with help from Genevieve, organized all this drama, all they really had to do was give them all gentle nudges and then watch themselves self-destruct. The pieces were already almost there, they just needed a push, and after that, she could just sit back and watch them burn. It's genius and also disturbing.

We flashback to the last memory of 1919 of the episode. Mikael struts down the middle of the main street, shouting for his children. "The final act of Le Grand Guignol is upon us! Where are my players? Enough running, children! Step out of the shadows so we can finish this tale of sorrows!" He continues to walk down the street, with his intricately carved white oak stake in his hand. The Mikaelson children are several blocks ahead of him, and Klaus is carrying a barely conscious Rebekah. Elijah informs them that Mikael is coming, and grabs a wrought-iron stake from someone's front-yard fence to use as a weapon. Klaus stops and bites his wrist so he can give her some of his blood and revive her until they can feed and heal. When Rebekah finally awakens, she immediately asks after Marcel, so Klaus has to break the news that he's gone. She starts to cry, but Elijah interrupts them and insists that they need to flee. He promises that he'll hold him off so they can get a head start, but Klaus pulls Rebekah up to her feet and argues that they need to fight them together.

"We cannot fight him," Elijah points out. "All we can do is what we've done. We deceive him, we lead him astray. Now, I can do that as well as anyone. You take her far away from here. I'll follow you." Rebekah starts to cry, and sobs that he can't split up from them. She starts to hysterically confess that it's all her fault, but Klaus just thinks she's blaming herself, just like he's blaming himself. Klaus insists that HE'S actually the one at fault, for being the bastard and for not being able to save Marcel, and is just about to tell her so when the opera house explodes nearby. "I thought we'd found a home here," Klaus laments, but Elijah is spurred into action by this latest development. He gives Rebekah a huge and kisses her cheek as he urges her to leave with Klaus. When they remain still, he yells, "LEAVE!", so Klaus grabs his sister and zoops away with her into the night.

Present day--Elijah is walking around the cemetery, and stops suddenly in front of one. Rebekah comes out from hiding behind it and approaches him. "What are you doing here?" Elijah asks angrily. "Rebekah, you should be on the other side of the world by now." Rebekah: "You and I both know that wouldn't have been far enough." Klaus finally finds them, and bellows at Elijah to get the fuck away from her, 'cause he's gonna kill her dead, but Elijah is NOT about to let that happen. Klaus' eyes turn yellow as he shifts into hybrid mode, the indestructible white oak stake held tightly. Elijah's vampire eyes and fangs come out to play, as well, and he holds up Papa Tunde's blade menacingly to prepare for the imminent fight. Rebekah's never been one to hold out on a fight, either, so she vamps out too. OH SHIT! Mikaelson Thunder-dome time. I CANNOT WAIT.

Next episode: Klaus, Elijah, and Rebekah violently work out their sibling issues while locked in the cemetery, and Rebekah tries to stay alive until moonrise so she can run for the hills. Marcel does whatever he can do to help get Rebekah out, and an absolutely devastating thing happens that I'm still totally torn up about.

[screencaps via]

-When is Hayley's baby due? I feel like she's been pregnant forever. We're probably not going to see the birth til the end of the season, are we?

-Do you think Celeste got sent to the Other Side, or was she sucked into ~Hell~ like Katherine? I'm curious. Watching Elijah get to be happy without her particular brand of torture will probably be torture in and of itself, eh?

-This recap is so long and wordy that I've run out of other stuff I want to talk about! So, why don't YOU tell ME what you guys think? I am always interested in hearing new theories and perspectives. :)


  1. Love your recaps.
    Buuuttt... the opera was Les Huguenots, not Le Grand Guignol.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suits Season 3, Episode 1: "The Arrangement " Recap/Review

Suits Season 3, Episode 2: "I Want You to Want Me" Recap/Review

Teen Wolf Season 3, Episode 20: "Echo House" Recap/Review