Emily Watches Too Much Television

I know that it is several weeks after the fact, but I still can't believe we have to wait two more months before we get more Teen Wolf ! I feel like 3B really flew, and though The Originals is cranking up in intensity, and though even TVD has me hooked again, I'm still feeling a little bored without it, you know? However, this tiny vacation from teenage werewolves & friends should hopefully give me some time to attend to the ginormous backlog of TVD recaps sitting in my drafts folder, so that could be a little silver lining! Anyway, despite the huge chunk of my heart that is still missing from the loss of my beauteous warrior goddess Allison, "The Divine Move" was still a wonderful, yet heartbreaking, end to what was an excellent horror-movie half-season. So, enough of the jibber-jabber, time to dig in! Previously, on Teen Wolf :  The Golden Trio (Scott, Allison and Stiles) temporarily sacrificed their lives to save their parents (by ritual suicide, natch)...

[Just a warning, but this is a LONG recap. Like, 14,000 words long, about 5,000 more words than I normally write, and TONS of gifs and screencaps to boot, so bear with me! This is gonna be a doozy--Emily] Okay, gentle readers, settle in and let me explain you a thing about Allison Argent. Allison Argent is and will forever be an important character in the young-adult supernatural drama genre. Whenever I think about her journey through the last three seasons of Teen Wolf, I think of a quote Sansa Stark said in George R. R. Martin's Game of Thrones series. "My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel." The first time we met our dear Allison Argent, she was a wide-eyed, dimpled, porcelain-skinned naive girl who had no idea about the secret world of supernatural creatures, that her family had a centuries-old tradition of hunting them, and that her new boyfriend was a werewolf. Even before she learned the truth, she begged her aunt to teach her how to fight, beca...

This episode of Teen Wolf really was a rollercoaster from start to finish, but even more, it will most definitely go down in history as the MOST DISGUSTING EPISODE EVER. Like, seriously, you guys, Teen Wolf has done some really disgusting stuff in its day (like, say, having a ridiculous clawed hand come out of Jackson's mouth, having Jackson swallow a snake that eventually comes back out HIS EYEBALL, having Gerard projectile vomit a fountain of black goo from every orifice in his body, Deucalion squishing Ennis' head like a melon, and flies coming out of William Barrow's tumor, are just a few examples I can think of off the top of my head), but nothing has made me gag more than "De-Void." I've seen this episode a handful of times by this point, and I STILL like, dry-heave at the sight of the fly going into Derek's wound, or up Ethan's nose. That said, this episode was still exhilarating, terrifying, and all-around AMAZING, in a "OH SHIT WHAT T...

Flashback episodes are tricky, because it's hard to give the flashbacks relevance to the present-day story line. Making good flashback episodes is actually something that The Originals does REALLY well, because the characters are ancient monsters who have made a shitload of enemies over the centuries, so the events that happened in the past always end up having bearing on what's going on in the modern day. Unfortunately, "The Fox and the Wolf," which is not a BAD episode, kind of went the way of season 3A's "Visionary,"  in the way that as interesting as the flashbacks were, and as much as it made the current events make sense, it ultimately didn't do much to further the plot. However, we did learn quite a bit about Kira's family, and the flashbacks were seriously gorgeous, so it ended up being quite a nice break from the life-and-death drama before we end up exploding from the nonstop horror that will be the last three episodes. Also, I am...

Um, so can I just say, WHAT. THE. FUCK. WAS. THAT. EPISODE? I was not at all prepared for how absolutely mind-fucky things got with regard to Stiles, and judging by the end-of-season trailer that aired during Wolf Watch , we are DEFINITELY not at all prepared for what's coming, either. EVERYTHING IS SO TERRIBLE. So, I'm just gonna stop summarizing and just get right into what happened, and what everything means, okay? Let's talk "Echo House!" Just a warning to anyone reading this who HASN'T seen the episode--it's pretty disturbing, so much so that they put a warning at the beginning for the first time ever, which reads, "Due to the mature theme of this episode, viewer discretion is advised." So, if you are easily triggered by seeing television characters commit suicide (none of the important characters, though!), prescription medication abuse, and/or stereotypical and incorrect portrayals of how mental health centers are run, this might not ...

Man, was this episode a rollercoaster, or what? Although, it's not like that isn't what we've come to expect from this show. I mean,  "Letharia Vulpina"  was kind of unintentionally hilarious in the way that it was mostly everyone running around hysterically, trying to figure out what the fuck Stiles had been up to for the last two days, but that doesn't mean that it didn't pack some emotional punch, too! Plus, there were plenty of entertaining bits to go around. It was pretty sweet to see Deaton getting his hands dirty for once, Kira exploring her new powers was a joy to behold, watching Allison and Lydia antagonize Peter gave me SO MUCH LIFE, and I think I unintentionally started shipping Chris and Derek on accident. Is that wrong? The most intense parts for me was watching Scott and Allison visit Isaac, because I can't stand to see my bb hurt, and the last scene with Scott and Stiles. Seriously,  Kathleen  and I were talking about it, and it liter...

Man, this episode of Teen Wolf was seriously an intense hour of television. From the very first phone call Stiles made to Scott, to the last exchange with Kira's mom, I was literally buzzing with fear and anxiety, in the best way possible! It was a mindfuck, that's for sure, although that seems to be par for the course where Season 3B is concerned. So yeah, "Riddled" was another amazing episode in a long series of amazing episodes this season, and I'm not going to waste any more time summarizing when I could be talking about it! Previously, on Teen Wolf :  Kira learned that she's a kitsune, a werefox who has the ability to create fire/lightning bolts called "foxfire." Lydia's banshee powers started revealing themselves even stronger in the form of auditory hallucinations, and Stiles assured her that her instincts have been dead-on ever since they realized she was supernatural. Stiles has been dealing with a ton of negative symptoms that may o...

YIKES, I am still really behind, sorry guys! Please know that I'm working hard to crank these out as fast as I can, school permitting. ANYWAY, "Silverfinger" was yet another amazing episode of this amazing half-season of Teen Wolf. We got a little more information about the dementors and why they're here, as well as a taste of what Kira is as well! Also, I have never loved Derek Hale more than I have this season, he just seems so much more chill and happy, I am truly digging it. Also, Scott McCall is and will forever be the sweetest angel child of all time. Now, enough summarizing, let's talk about "Silverfinger!" Previously, on Teen Wolf :  Kira showed Scott the weird aura that forms around her when she takes pictures of herself with the flash, and though she thought she looked like a demon from hell, Scott, using his wolf eyes, saw that Kira's aura is actually in the form of a fox. Stiles found a mysterious key on his key ring that turned out ...

Alright, alright, so I know that I've declared every episode of Teen Wolf of 3B so far to be the best episode of all time, but SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS, "Illuminated" was the best episode of ALL TIME. It would earn the title solely for how visually stunning it was, but then when you include the music, the dearth of sexual tension, and the surprises, it was one of the most thrilling episodes yet. If you reviewed the text history between myself and my best soul-friend and fellow Teen Wolf superfan, Kathleen , it would mostly consist of squeeing over Scott/Kira and Allison/Isaac's romantic moments, freaking out over the oni, making fun of Agent Douchenozzle, and worrying our poor little heads off about Stiles and whatever the fuck is happening to him. So, on that note, let's talk about what happened this week! Just a warning: there are a ton of gifs in this recap, so if your internet is kind of slow, it might slow it down more. Sorry in advance! Also, a lot of the gi...

Hey amigos, sorry this is a little late, it's midterm week and I've been swamped with homework and playing catch up with just about everything. I'm hoping once my major tests are out of the way, I'll be able to get caught up a little bit, but it might take a little time. Thanks for your patience! ANYWAY, this episode was hands down the most entertaining episode of Teen Wolf that I can remember in a long while. I mean, let's be real here, there are literally no episodes that I dislike, and this season has been my favorite of the three, partly due to the storylines, and partly due to the much improved cinematography, thanks to the tax credit the show got for moving filming from Atlanta to Los Angeles. But seriously, I laughed so much in this episode, especially during the best scene of all time with Stiles, Isaac and Scott at school. To balance out the funny, there were some SERIOUSLY scary parts of it, due in thanks to Doug Jones, who is has played literally eve...

THIS (HALF-)SEASON IS BANANAS. Seriously! "More Bad than Good" was yet another totally solid episode, full of exciting twists and some mythology stuff, not to mention a COMPLETELY unexpected return of an awesome character I thought was gone forever. I'm pretty sure I was on edge the entire hour, to be totally honest. So, let's get started! Previously, on Teen Wolf :  Derek and Peter were taken captive by an unknown group of people (though it's probably safe to assume that they're hunters) and have been tied up to a chain-link fence and electrocuted for god knows how long. Scott, Allison, and Stiles started suffering from some unfortunate side effects of their surrogate sacrifices to save their parents: for Scott, loss of control of his wolf instincts: for Allison, terrifying hallucinations about her aunt Kate and loss of control over her hunter instincts, and for Stiles, sleep paralysis, nightmares, and acquired dyslexia. Oh, and the Sheriff started going t...

[Note: I really should have written the TVD midseason finale first, but I was so excited to watch/recap the winter premiere of TW that I decided to go for it, especially since TVD doesn't come back for another two weeks. Sorry about the slight out-of-orderness of it all, I promise that the "Fifty Shades of Grayson"  recap will be up ASAP!] OMFG IT IS SO GOOD TO BE BACK TO THIS SHOW. I will always love TVD and The Originals , but as the quality of the former has slowly decreased,  Teen Wolf has worked it's way up to #1 TV show in my heart. Even when the fandom goes absolutely batshit over the tiniest things, or Davis deals with character's issues particularly problematic ways. So yeah, it feels SO good to be back! I haven't enjoyed recapping an episode nearly as much as I enjoyed writing this one, and I'm hoping it's an indicator of awesome things to come in the final eleven episodes of season 3! Right off the bat, I'm just going to say tha...

So, there was an... interesting development in the Teen Wolf fandom last weekend. Somehow, "Lunar Ellipse," the mid-season finale of Season 3, was released on iTunes on Friday, four days early. And then, of course, it was only a matter of time before it was on all over the torrent and streaming video sites as well. This was apparently not at all what the TW execs wanted, although I still have no idea who leaked it in the first place, so fans were left with a moral dilemma: do we watch it early, and try to hold in all our feelings about it until it airs, or do we wait until Monday, and try our best to avoid spoilers about it online? I waffled over it for a while, and finally decided I should probably watch it before my tumblr dashboard was full of spoilers and I ruined it for myself. So, I let myself watch it once and it took most of my willpower not to talk about it, for fear of spoiling others. Then, I didn't watch it again until Monday, when it aired, in hopes that t...

On Sunday evening, Jeff Davis, or whoever usually runs the  Teen Wolf tumblr , warned that the last five minutes of "Alpha Pact" would leave us breathless, and JFC they were not lying. This episode was so intense that I literally held my breath through an entire scene on more than one occasion, partly from confusion and partly from shock. SO MUCH HAPPENED. Basically, when this show is good, it is really, really,   r e a l l y  fucking good. All of the actors did the best work they've ever done in this episode, and everything happened so fast that I'm still getting random realizations about the implications, even twenty-four hours later. I'm serious, you guys-- I don't know how long this show will endure (though I hope it's forever), but I think "Alpha Pact" may just be my favorite episode of all time. I have been so excited to start this recap ever since the episode ended, so I'm just going to get to it. Settle in, gentle readers, we...

OH. SHIT. This week, Teen Wolf was a fucking rollercoaster, and pretty much everything I predicted would happen ended up being completely wrong, and everything I heard people speculate about that I figured couldn't possibly  happen ended up totally happening!  And that is one of many, many reasons why I love this show, and will probably watch it until it's cancelled. It always keeps me on my toes! Anyway, the only thing that really disappointed me about this week was the fact that not only was Lydia completely absent, but no one even talked about the fact that WE NOW KNOW SHE'S A BANSHEE! Shouldn't they be researching what the hell that means, and what kind of powers it entails, so they can see how she can help them? I mean, it's looking like they're now fighting a war on two fronts. (Although, that may be changing. More on that later.) I mean, I get that there was no room for her with everything else going on, but I was just really looking forward to watching...

I am so sorry for being such a slacker, you guys. I am in the middle of final exam hell, and trying to find time to sit down and write for several hours has been a little difficult, since my nose has been in a chemistry book all week. My promises don't mean much at this point, but after this Wednesday, I will be done with school for several weeks, which will give me much more time to devote to word-vomiting my TV feelings! Anyway, enough about me, let's talk about teenage werewolves! I think we can all agree that this episode was definitely a highlight of the first half of the season, yeah? We learned who the Darach is and what Lydia is, and despite the fact that many of us had already guessed what and who they were, it was still thrilling to watch. We also learned more about the Alpha Pack's plans, and all the pieces seem to be set up for plenty of bombshells for the last three episodes of 3A. So, to refresh our memories in preparation of what's to come... Previou...

Did any of you guys ever watch Gossip Girl ? I still maintain that it was one of the best shows on TV during it's time (2007-2012, although the last two seasons were iffy.) Anyway, on GG , if you dug deep enough into the cause behind any shitty situation the characters had to deal with, you could be 99.99% sure that Lily van der Woodsen was somehow behind it all. Likewise, on Teen Wolf , we learned this week that if you dig into any supernatural problem, you will find that Gerard Argent is always the cause, as well. He's like fucking Voldemort in the way that no matter how hard you look, you can never find any redeemable qualities in him. Or like Professor Umbridge, while we're talking about Harry Potter . Anyway, so as predicted, "Visionary" was more backstory and mythology than action and plot development, but I still enjoyed it immensely. It was a nice opportunity to take a breather before we resume the usual onslaught of emotional abuse that the show usuall...

Just when I'm like, "Nope, Teen Wolf can't possibly be more more of an emotional rollercoaster," the show decides to take it as a personal challenge and always, always succeeds. It's like all riddles and metaphors and buildup until the last five minutes, and then it changes to "OH HEY LOOK DRAMATIC REVEALS, DEATH, AND A CLIFFHANGER BOOYAH." And then I spend the next week dying of anticipation. When did this become my life? I should probably just get on with it, yeah? Previously, on Teen Wolf : Derek was super broody to Jennifer about how everyone around him always gets hurt. Deaton taught Stiles about the magic of positive thinking (especially in combination with some mountain ash, natch). Deucalion threatened Scott about the possibility that he will eventually having to choose between his anti-killing moral code and saving the life of one of his loved ones. The Argents bragged about how much research their family has done regarding the amount of...

Last week, everyone's favorite scary mom, Victoria Argent, asked her teenage daughter a question: "How do we approach a [stressful] situation like this?" And the answer to this question is  "clinically and unemotionally," which is a lesson we would all do well to learn, QUICKLY, in order to get through this third season of Teen Wolf. So. Intense. I really don't have words for the emotional assault that was "Motel California," but I promise I mean that in the most kind and positive way possible. (That's actually a lie, I do have words, thousands and thousands of words, but they're not at all eloquent.) It was painful, but in a good way, and it hit me right in the feels with the power of an angry god. All of the actors were so on top of their game, I really mean it; Tyler Posey did some of the best work I've ever seen from him, ditto Sinqua Walls and Daniel Sharman. However, this week's MVP is Dylan O'Brien, hands-down. I...

So, this episode was HANDS DOWN the best of the season thus far, if not THE best episode so far in the entire series. As far as recapping goes, it's going to be a huge pain in the ass, because it's so non-linear, I have gotten a little lost in figuring out what is a flashback, what is currently happening, and what order these events actually happened. But, from a viewer perspective, this episode is amazing, intense and full of action. So, let's get started, eh? I have been thinking about how I am going to write this recap since the live airing ended, and as annoying as it is, I think I'm just going to write through this in the same order that the episode was shown. I considered recapping the events chronologically, from Scott and Allison's play-fight to Scott breaking up Isaac beating the hell out of Ethan, but that was just as complicated, if not more so. So, here goes nothing! Previously, on Teen Wolf : Derek went back to the school to check in on Ms. Jennifer ...