Emily Watches Too Much Television

[Ugh, sorry for even more lateness on this recap, you guys. I don't know what's wrong with me, but summer slow-down is making me incapable of doing anything in a timely fashion. Hopefully the next ones are better! Thanks for understanding-- xoxo Emily] Welp, that was a heartbreaker of an episode, wasn't it? Like, I don't even know what to say about it except that everything seems so bleak in Beacon Hills right now. We've got Scott on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown; Stiles cracking under the weight of his still-secret accidental homicide, Lydia and Malia trying to keep everyone together, and honestly, they're the ones who seem the most "normal" and not "off" right now, which worries me, considering we know Lydia ends up in Eichen House soon, and Malia is about to have some major mommy issues. Also, Liam and Hayden may or may not end up super violent and/or dead from the stuff the Dread Doctors did to them; Kira is pretty much

[Sorry once again for the lateness, guys! I don't know if it's summer slow-down, or another cycle of my never-ending on-and-off depression, or what, but I have been ridiculously slow-moving, unproductive, and generally crappy-feeling the last week or two. Here's hoping this Debbie-Downer cycle ends soon so I can get back on schedule and actually get started on replying back to comments/messages/etc as well. Thanks for understanding. --Emily] So, remember when I said that the events of the last four episodes were going to make "Required Reading" feel like a pleasant dream? Well, it's already starting, and my heart is shattered into a million pieces, and if it's already this bad, then the last three episodes are going to be even worse in intensity? Are you guys ready for it? Because I'm really, really not. I don't mean to say that I don't like it, because I do, a LOT-- if I had to rank the seasons, I'd probably go with 3B, 4, 5A, 3A, 2, an

Well, in a sensation that is becoming quite familiar to me this season, I seriously do not understand most of what is happening in Teen Wolf right now, but nonetheless, this episode was a thrilling, visually stunning, and even sort of informative, continuing in a string of amazing episodes in Season 5. Can you guys believe we only have four more episodes until 5A is over? And, as we know, the last four episodes of a season/half-season are always when shit really  starts to go down, which means all of the shocks we got this week are going to feel like pleasant dreams compared to what's coming to us. I am both super excited and ridiculously under-prepared. Anyway, there is a lot  to unpack in this recap, so I'm just going to cut to the chase and jump in so we can start discussing everything we learned. Let's talk about "Required Reading!" Previously, on Teen Wolf:  Scott, Kira, Lydia, and Stiles went to Eichen House to talk to Dr. Gabriel Valack, who wrote the

[Ugh, late again, sorry guys! --Emily] HOLY SHIT, YOU GUYS. This episode was seriously overwhelming in multiple ways, and the information learned from it has consequences that will definitely be affecting the entire supernatural population of Beacon Hills. For one, we now know that the book Malia found in Tracy's bedroom was not only planted there by the Dread Doctors themselves via Theo, but they did so specifically to lure the McCall Pack to Eichen House to talk to the book's author-- who is none other than Dr. Gabriel Valack himself!-- and To make matters even worse, it's not even a work of fiction-- it's meant to be used as a tool for those who have been messed with by the Doctors to help them remember doing so, because the Doctors' powers-- which mostly involve manipulating electromagnetic energy and frequencies-- are frequently used to make their test subjects forget that they had been experimented on in the first place. This means that the theories that p

[Sorry for the lateness on this recap, guys! I spent the weekend at my sister and brother-in-law's apartment in the city and I stayed wayyyyy longer than I intended! I expect the schedule to get back to normal this week! Thanks for understanding! --Emily] Hey, friends! Is everyone still with us? Nobody had a heart attack this week, or a stroke, or experienced their brains exploding as a result of how literally bananas  this episode was, right? Good! I admit it was kind of a close call, there, but I'm pleased to say I made it through essentially in one piece. (Granted, sleeping Monday night was quite a struggle since I couldn't stop thinking about/theorizing about everything we just learned in this episode, but whatever, I can sleep when I'm dead). Anyway, so how great was "Condition Terminal?" Maybe great isn't the right word-- I thoroughly enjoyed the entirety of the episode, but there were some parts that scared me or frustrated me. First was the pa

Mis amigos , I'm going to be honest with you-- I literally have no idea  what the hell is going on this season. I know that sounds like a complaint, but it's really not! As I mentioned at the end of the previous recap, I have watched a lot  of TV in my life, to the point where it's really hard for me to be surprised or confused as to what is going on, because it doesn't take long for me to find the pattern and figure out what is going to happen. In the case of this season of Teen Wolf though, the storyline has been woven in such a complicated way that it's been difficult to pinpoint the motivations of the possibly-bad-guys, which of course makes it equally difficult to figure out what they're going to do next. The main confusion I'm having about this show is specifically regarding the Dread Doctors and what their aims are, because let's be real here, their actions have been a little nuts. Giving a werewolf glowing talons and enhanced strength and send

Welp, it's official, everyone-- Liam Dunbar is too precious for this world. Seriously, to think that when he first showed up in Season 4's "Muted," I was like, "Ugh, this punk-ass Jackson wannabe." BUT HE'S NOT A JACKSON WANNABE. He's funnier, more compassionate, and more endearing than Jackson ever was, in my humble opinion. He's really more like Isaac, but with Stiles' penchant for hilarious faces and comedic timing. I am literally enjoying every single moment he's on screen, especially when it's with Mason, because the two of them together are just too adorable for words. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting when Mason would eventually be read into the supernatural world, but I was still not at all surprised when he reacted with unbridled enthusiasm that his best friend is a lycanthrope. Mason is such a perfect prince. I admit, I wasn't thrilled when I learned he would be on the show either, because it seemed like t

*singsongs* REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOOOOOOOD. This is exactly how I feel now that Teen Wolf is back! Don't get me wrong, I love The Originals , and despite my issues with The Vampire Diaries , I will always adore it too, but I didn't realize just how much I was missing the McCall Pack and its variety of beasties until last night when the episode aired. And it was GOOD, wasn't it? Kathleen and I still aren't totally sold yet on the whole "5A is probably one big flashback" thing yet, but it's still an interesting change-up from previous seasons. It kind of reminds me of Season 3A's "Frayed," but in a good way. So, let's run down the amazingness, shall we? Scott and Stiles are the cutest bros to ever bro, as usual, and have literally become Liam's parents. Liam is so precious  and cares so much about the pack that it is killing me. Malia is still working her ass off in her academic life and for her pack, and with a perfect hairc

This blog's TVD recaps are a testament to how much I love Bonnie Bennett, and it's because of this love that it has been so hard to recap the first chapter and a half of this season-- I mean, it has basically been a clip show of Bonnie getting shit on over and over and over: sacrificing her freedom to send Damon home, being tortured on numerous occasions by Kai, being left there all alone by him with no magic to free herself from the prison world, etc etc etc. This episode was pretty hard to watch for this reason, because Bonnie was so lonely , you guys. So lonely that she was totally willing to end her own life (and, if you remember my Season 5 recaps, I also hate the whole suicidal ideation theme of this show, but that's another discussion entirely), and had it not been because of some quick thinking from the astral-projection form of Jeremy, she'd probably be dead right now, and I'm so glad that she isn't. So yeah, this episode is all about Bonnie, specifi

Like the previous recap, I'm just going to jump on in, but I just wanted to say WOO FREYA MIKAELSON, because she is seriously the best, am I right? And I am so excited for Rebekah to actually have a mostly-nice sister to support her, because being the lone girl (and the youngest  girl/sibling, which is like a double-whammy) in a family full of boys probably gets old very quickly, wouldn't you say? So yay, she and Rebekah are finally out of the damn Fauline asylum, and it's time for a family reunion! Also, sorry for the lateness-- I was doing so well, but then a bunch of unexpected distractions ended up making me behind, so hopefully the rest will come quicker than this one! Let's talk "Sanctuary," yeah? Previously, on The Originals :  After a day spent on the astral plane with his brothers, Finn figured out that Elijah and Klaus are hiding something major from him (*coughHopecoughcough*) and decided to take Marcel and his vampires prisoner in hopes of someho

At this rate, I'm running out of things to say in these introductions, so let's just skip the formalities and get to talking about "Prayer For The Dying," yeah? Especially since I totally posted this without adding in the previouslies because my brain is pretty much scrambled between the scorching heat, a ridiculous case of PMS, and my brain being flooded with recap discussion ideas. Whoops! Previously, on The Vampire Diaries:  Despite the fact that Elena had her memories of loving Damon erased when she thought he had died for good, she has still managed to relearn the good about him and has decided to take the plunge with him again. Kai then captured Elena before she could have dinner with Damon and decided to practice magic on her, because SURPRISE!-- Kai sucked up the anti-magic Travelers spell throughout Mystic Falls, which is good because now the vampires can return home, but it's also bad, because that gave Kai a shitload of powers. Fortunately, Damon man

Like I said at the end of the last recap, I absolutely ADORED this episode. First of all, any TV show that sheds light on a historical topic that most high schools have erased from their curricula is amazing, and something not enough people know about are the African-Americans/black Americans who fought in World War I, despite the fact that they were barely treated like people in the country for which they were fighting in the war. Plus, something The Originals does really well is taking historical events and people (like the casquette girls, for example, which was covered in the aptly named The Casket Girls ) and weave it into their own mythology. Rebekah Mikaelson ended up freeing a bunch of casquette girls and turning them into vampires so they could never be hurt by men, and as we learned in this episode, Marcel turned his entire all-black regiment, the Harlem Hell Fighters, an actual regiment of black infantry soldiers who fought in World War I, into vampires to ensure their sur

Things are getting super-sad in this TVD recap catch-up extravaganza, since Liz Forbes' days are officially numbered, so the next couple recaps are gonna be a doozy to write. When you add this in with the reveal that vampire blood really doesn't cure cancer and the fact that Kai is still causing all kinds of shenanigans, "Woke Up With a Monster" was a pretty intense episode, which, by the way, was directed by Paul Wesley, aka Stefan Salvatore, and he did a really good job, in my humble opinion! So, I'm just going to get on with it, yeah? Previously, on The Vampire Diaries :  Shady Sarah revealed herself to actually be Shady Monique, a childhood best friend to the real Sarah Salvatore. When Enzo realized that Stefan had a secret regarding Sarah that he didn't want anyone to know, he killed Monique and decided to force Matt into joining his "Let's ruin Stefan's life" -cause after Matt tried and failed to kill him. Liz was diagnosed with a

So, imagine that you're a vampire and you're trapped inside a house with your mortal enemies, the werewolves. Probably not a fun time, right? Well, add in the fact that your vampire bloodlust has been magically increased to unbearable levels, and you're still a newbie, so you barely have control over your hunger, and, oh!-- one of the werewolves you're trapped with is your boyfriend, and he's starting to look mighty yummy, and not in the sexy way. Well, this is pretty much the plot of what happened in this episode, most particularly to Josh, and as you can probably guess, it was really not the best day, to be honest. Finn apparently has developed a hatred for werewolves that equals his already-super-strong hatred for vampires, so he got the brilliant idea of locking the two communities in the compound with a boundary spell in the hopes that the vampires' magnified thirst for blood would result in the two groups fighting amongst themselves until they all killed e

Hey guys, it's been two whole years since I started this blog! WOO! Can you believe it? Where has the time gone? When I first started, I was only recapping Season 3A of Teen Wolf , and I had 99 page views in the first month. Since then, I've had almost 160,000 page views for over 110 recaps of Teen Wolf, The Originals, The Vampire Diaries , and a few episodes of Suits , which is pretty incredible for a nobody like me! So, thank you all so  much for sticking around, reading my recaps, and leaving comments about what you think! Since there are over a hundred posts now, I thought I'd start an archive page in order to make it a little easier to find what you're looking for. I know that Blogger is pretty great about making all of the blog posts accessible on the right-hand sidebar, but I figured since they're all kind of scrambled up-- thanks to juggling several shows at once and my laissez-faire attitude regarding my own self-imposed deadlines-- that it might be he

It's Christmas in Mystic Falls as we're chugging along in my mania-fueled scramble to catch up on recaps, but unfortunately for the MFG, things are not going that well-- Kai teams up with Tyler, Liv, and a reluctant Luke to force Jo to take her magic back; Liz has a major secret (the fact that she has brain cancer) that finally gets revealed to Caroline and the others when Liz collapses at Caroline's dorm; and Matt and Jeremy make a dumb plan to take out Enzo for good, plus a bunch of other stuff. However, there was one bright spot-- the Traveler's spell to block non-traditional-magic has been sucked up by Kai, which means the vampires can go back to Mystic Falls! The bad news is, now he has all that power, which is likely not going to bode well for anyone. So, let's talk about "Christmas Through Your Eyes " and all the drama that ensued, shall we? Previously, on The Vampire Diaries :  Last season, the Travelers cast a powerful spell that completely bloc

Welp, we had Thanksgiving in May a couple weeks ago, and now we get Christmas in June, because in this episode of The Originals , the Mikealsons (Elijah, Klaus, Rebekah, Hope, and Hayley) are finally all reunited for the first time in ages at their new safe house, and it is MAGICAL. Photos are taken, bonfires are had, and tons and tons of scheming and plotting go down, reminding us that when the four of them put their heads together, they're pretty amazing and unstoppable. Not to mention that Kol gave them an assist, though his good deed is a liiiiiiiiittle less impressive when he gets even with Rebekah regarding a grudge he's been holding since 1914. The best news to come out of this episode is that, for now, Esther has been de-powered, because her daughter managed to turn her into a vampire without her even suspecting it, proving once and for all that Rebekah is as devious as her brothers and does not get the credit she deserves. But, why summarize everything in the introdu

Alright kids, we're on the clock until Teen Wolf starts, which means that we're going to do this quick and dirty, 'kay? Don't be surprised if this is more review than recap, because between school and nursing-test taking, I've pretty much put myself in a bind this TV season, so I'm going to try my best to keep this relatively short, comparatively speaking. (I mean, we all know that this blog in general is a testament to the fact that I am incapable of writing less than a thousand words on any topic, but fingers crossed I can restrain myself a little ;]) So, let's talk "I Alone!" Previously, on The Vampire Diaries :  Elena and Damon were totally in love, but then Damon sort-of died, and Elena was so devastated that she had Alaric the formerly-Enhanced-Original-vampire compel away all of her memories of loving him. Of course, then Damon came back, thanks to Bonnie's sacrifice, and now Elena only has bad memories of Damon to go on and cannot f

(Blogger's note: for any of you who are following me on Tumblr, I have moved to a new blog that is 99% dedicated to fandoms and 1% social-justice-y/feminism, so if you'd like to keep reading my stuff over there, you can follow me at bisexual-rebekah .) So, I actually meant to write this like, five , six   seven   eight  months ago, but then I realized that I didn't have much time to catch up on my TVD Season 5-rewatch and decided to make that the priority. Then, naturally, the new seasons of TVD and The Originals started, which ended up taking priority over THAT, and I got ridiculously behind and kind of forgot about this post for a bit until notomys on Tumblr messaged me and reminded me that I totally meant to write this whole big thing and it ended up being forgotten while I have been playing catch-up on actual recaps. So, since we still have another five four three   two months   ONE MONTH before our blessed and beloved Teen Wolf comes back, I figured, why not

Hooray, let's get ready for some quality Mikaelson sibling bonding time! In "The Brothers That Care Forgot," not only are Kol and Finn both still shackled with the cursed, magic-proof manacles that were procured by Cami via Father Kieran's secret apartment, but Rebekah, too, is back into the fold as well. Have I mentioned how much I missed Rebekah? Because she has been and always will be my favorite character in this show-- more than Elijah, more than Hayley, more than Davina, more than ANYONE. So, having her back has been wonderful, because Claire Holt is a phenomenal actress and Rebekah brings a balancing force to the boy's club that is the rest of her siblings. Anyway, since I'm still scrambling to catch up on these recaps before Teen Wolf starts, I'm just gonna cut to the chase, alright? Also, an update on scheduling and general housekeeping stuff before I begin-- I still have a Teen Wolf post-Season 4/pre-Season 5 write-up/meta thing that is almo

Welp, it's time for Thanksgiving in May, because we're revisiting Friendsgiving at Whitmore College this week in my continued scramble to catch up on all of my recaps before Teen Wolf starts up again at the end of June. Can I do it? I have no idea, but with some finagling, I think it may be possible. But, we're here to talk about TVD right now, so lets get to it, shall we? In this episode, we got to learn a LOT about the Gemini Coven, including the fact that Kai and Jo, like Liv and Luke, are twins, which are extra special in their coven because they are the ones who become the leaders once they reach the age of 22. Of course, it's not so easy as simply being named the leader-- the twins have to perform a ritual called the Merge ceremony, in which the twins basically battle each other with magic until the stronger twin absorbs the magic of the weaker twin, killing the latter and doubling the strength of the former. Witch covens in this universe are kind of weird, do

Welp, so long, Ansel! We hardly know ye. I was a little disappointed that Ansel was taken out so early in the game, but weirdly enough, I kind of understand Klaus' motives? The more people who know about Hope, the more people who could potentially spill the beans, either voluntarily or under coercion, and Klaus is NOT taking any more chances where his first-born daughter is concerned. With both Esther and Mikael wandering around town with the foulest of motives, Klaus doesn't really have a lot of options. Werewolves can't be compelled, so there was no way he could mind-wipe him, and Esther is surely powerful enough to get into his brain for answers if she knows they're there. Still, Ansel died so Elijah could LIVE, and our favorite noble Mikaelson brother is finally conscious again, woooo! FINALLY. Plus, we've got some amazing Koleb/Davina interactions, yet another perfect team-up of Marcel, Hayley, Cami, Josh, and Aiden in order to fuck with Finn, and some quality

Welp, as far as TVD episodes go, this one was NOT my favorite, and it's probably going to show in the recap. Sorry about that! I'll try my best to be impartial, but between boring Liam and the Damon/Elena drama heartache, the Tripp storyline, and Bonnie being psychologically and physically tortured by Kai, I was just not very impressed. On a positive note, I did think the dialogue was hilarious, so I will probably be doing a lot of transcription to make up for it. I'm gonna try to do this short-and-dirty style so we can all move onto the much better episodes that follow, but since I don't really have much control over my word vomit, I'm not sure how well that's gonna go. Okay, let's talk about "Do You Remember The First Time?" Previously, on The Vampire Diaries :  Damon and Bonnie died, but not really-- instead of moving on to the still-undefined afterlife following the destruction of the Other Side, they were sent to a mystical prison world tha

I have been so excited to write this recap since "Wheel Inside the Wheel" aired, because OH MY GOD, ESTHER FLASHBACKS! I'm pretty sure the flashbacks to 972 AD are officially the oldest memories of the characters that we've ever seen, and it actually gave us a ton of insight into why Esther and Mikael are the way they are. I'm even starting to sympathize with Esther (although only a tiny bit), but still not so much Mikael, because even losing your beloved daughter doesn't justify being an abusive dick with a burning desire to kill his children in the most brutal ways possible. Also, we know the identity of the Mikaelsons' oldest sibling, Freya! But I need some input from the rest of you readers out there-- are Freya and Finn twins? Because I could have sworn they were twins (with Freya being the oldest, obviously, just like how Liv is the oldest between her and Luke in The Vampire Diaries ), but now that I've gone back to look, there isn't really

Alright kids, since I am so behind that I will literally be drowning in unfinished recaps until the end of my days,  to the point where my descendants will probably end up having to finish for me at this rate, I'm going to have to speed things along a bit. So, this recap is gonna be a sort of fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants deal where it will (hopefully) be shorter and less detailed than usual, and probably a handful at least of the TVD recaps are probably going to be this way. Then again, since I can turn anything into a novel without really trying, who knows what's going to happen? Let's just get to it, yeah? Previously, on The Vampire Diaries :   Damon died in the explosion to sacrifice the rest of the Travelers and was unable to come back from the Other Side in the resurrection spell, so he and Bonnie got sucked into a prison dimension, leaving all of their loved ones behind. Elena was so distraught by their loss (and Damon's especially, since she's never had to

I know pretty much every introduction to my recaps of The Originals  ultimately turns into me talking about how amazing this season is going and how impressed by all the characters I am, but SERIOUSLY, THIS SEASON IS SO AMAZING AND THE CHARACTERS ARE SO GREAT. In "Red Door," we got to see Elijah's interactions with his mother, and got a LOT of insight into how he became known for being noble, impeccably dressed, and nearly always in control. And, the best part about all of these insights is that we 1) got flashbacks to the late 10th century/early 11th century Mystic Falls, which is always great-- the costuming is perfect and OG Esther is always delightful, and 2) WE FINALLY GET TO MEET TATIA. We first heard about Tatia in Season 3 of The Vampire Diaries, when Klaus mentioned her to Stefan and Damon to remark on "the allure of the Petrova doppelgänger." Tatia was a great love of both Klaus and Elijah, not unlike Stefan and Damon's love triangles with both

So hey, there's tons of progress in this episode, right? I mean, we get a crazy corn maze festival for most of our main characters (and if you have not experienced a corn maze, you need to make it out to the midwestern USA, because it can actually be really fun if it's not super hot or rainy), and learn a little more about Kai. Plus, we got a little scare with Tyler nearly triggering his werewolf curse that resulted in a surprising show of care and loyalty from Liv, which I was NOT expecting. Also, we get some hilarious Caroline/Ivy moments, a brilliant call-out on Alaric's part to Stefan, and best of all, DAMON IS BACK IN THE REAL WORLD, YAYYYY. There were some bad parts, such as what Kai did to Bonnie (and anyone who hurts Bonnie instantly gets put on my shitlist, tbh), Stefan's general attitude toward Ivy and Caroline, and ESPECIALLY the fact that BONNIE IS STILL IN THE PRISON DIMENSION AND NOT IN THE LIVING WORLD WHERE SHE DESERVES TO BE. Even months later, I am s