Emily Watches Too Much Television

Hey, mis amigos favoritos ! How are you doing? How was your spring and summer? You look great! So, I've been gone a really, really, really  long time, and honestly, I'm kind of embarrassed about it. I've always enjoyed this blog, because talking about television is literally my favorite thing to do in this entire shitty world, but I'm going to be honest here-- mental illness is kind of a pain in the ass. Chronic depression makes it difficult for me to do anything but the absolute bare minimum of what needs to be done, which is how my to-do list ended up getting too long, but when you combine this with my awesome OCD whose fun quirk is screaming "YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ALL OF THIS UNFINISHED OR SKIP AHEAD BECAUSE THEN YOU HAVE A HUGE CHUNK MISSING AND IT WILL BOTHER YOU FOREVER," it's enough to drive you a bit mad. So, I was in a dilemma that kept me pretty much stuck-- my list of recaps to write was getting so long it was becoming unrealistic to expe...

Alright, kids! This post was initially meant to be a meta post to follow the first two or three episodes of 5A, but, of course, I haven't met a self-imposed deadline that I didn't end up breaking, so the post just kept growing longer and longer and taking more and more time to write, and then more and more episodes were airing, and then the next thing I knew, the season finale had just aired, and I was like... well, fuck. Fortunately, this super-sized season is two halves of an ongoing story of the Dread Doctors, so while the first half of Season 5 passed me by, a lot of my observations and questions are still relevant, even after we learned more information about what was going on regarding those steampunk assholes, Theo and his villainy, what the hell was going on with Kira and Jordan, why Scott suddenly developed asthma out of nowhere, etc. So, I was able to morph my in-season meta discussion into a post-season meta and speculation discussion! Hooray! So, since the premier...

HAPPY NEW YEAR, YOU GUYS! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! Anywho, I am so  sorry about how late this damn post has been. My descent into bluesville had terrible timing, apparently, because then school started at the end of August, so I not only had no motivation to write or do anything, but I also had no time  to do it, and basically it's all been a mess. Now that the fall and winter weather has improved my malaise a tiny bit, I'm attempting to hop back on the saddle, but I've decided to make a few changes to the blog and my entries in hopes of making things a little easier on myself in the coming weeks and, in turn, getting my looooong to-do list of blog posts written and posted faster while still giving you guys the discussions I've promised. So, to do this, I'm going to switch from my usual recap format with review material sprinkled throughout to just simply posting reviews-- I'm sure the posts will still end up being novel-length as usual, but at least now I can ...

[Ugh, sorry for even more lateness on this recap, you guys. I don't know what's wrong with me, but summer slow-down is making me incapable of doing anything in a timely fashion. Hopefully the next ones are better! Thanks for understanding-- xoxo Emily] Welp, that was a heartbreaker of an episode, wasn't it? Like, I don't even know what to say about it except that everything seems so bleak in Beacon Hills right now. We've got Scott on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown; Stiles cracking under the weight of his still-secret accidental homicide, Lydia and Malia trying to keep everyone together, and honestly, they're the ones who seem the most "normal" and not "off" right now, which worries me, considering we know Lydia ends up in Eichen House soon, and Malia is about to have some major mommy issues. Also, Liam and Hayden may or may not end up super violent and/or dead from the stuff the Dread Doctors did to them; Kira is pretty much ...

[Sorry once again for the lateness, guys! I don't know if it's summer slow-down, or another cycle of my never-ending on-and-off depression, or what, but I have been ridiculously slow-moving, unproductive, and generally crappy-feeling the last week or two. Here's hoping this Debbie-Downer cycle ends soon so I can get back on schedule and actually get started on replying back to comments/messages/etc as well. Thanks for understanding. --Emily] So, remember when I said that the events of the last four episodes were going to make "Required Reading" feel like a pleasant dream? Well, it's already starting, and my heart is shattered into a million pieces, and if it's already this bad, then the last three episodes are going to be even worse in intensity? Are you guys ready for it? Because I'm really, really not. I don't mean to say that I don't like it, because I do, a LOT-- if I had to rank the seasons, I'd probably go with 3B, 4, 5A, 3A, 2, an...

Well, in a sensation that is becoming quite familiar to me this season, I seriously do not understand most of what is happening in Teen Wolf right now, but nonetheless, this episode was a thrilling, visually stunning, and even sort of informative, continuing in a string of amazing episodes in Season 5. Can you guys believe we only have four more episodes until 5A is over? And, as we know, the last four episodes of a season/half-season are always when shit really  starts to go down, which means all of the shocks we got this week are going to feel like pleasant dreams compared to what's coming to us. I am both super excited and ridiculously under-prepared. Anyway, there is a lot  to unpack in this recap, so I'm just going to cut to the chase and jump in so we can start discussing everything we learned. Let's talk about "Required Reading!" Previously, on Teen Wolf:  Scott, Kira, Lydia, and Stiles went to Eichen House to talk to Dr. Gabriel Valack, who wrote the ...

[Ugh, late again, sorry guys! --Emily] HOLY SHIT, YOU GUYS. This episode was seriously overwhelming in multiple ways, and the information learned from it has consequences that will definitely be affecting the entire supernatural population of Beacon Hills. For one, we now know that the book Malia found in Tracy's bedroom was not only planted there by the Dread Doctors themselves via Theo, but they did so specifically to lure the McCall Pack to Eichen House to talk to the book's author-- who is none other than Dr. Gabriel Valack himself!-- and To make matters even worse, it's not even a work of fiction-- it's meant to be used as a tool for those who have been messed with by the Doctors to help them remember doing so, because the Doctors' powers-- which mostly involve manipulating electromagnetic energy and frequencies-- are frequently used to make their test subjects forget that they had been experimented on in the first place. This means that the theories that p...

[Sorry for the lateness on this recap, guys! I spent the weekend at my sister and brother-in-law's apartment in the city and I stayed wayyyyy longer than I intended! I expect the schedule to get back to normal this week! Thanks for understanding! --Emily] Hey, friends! Is everyone still with us? Nobody had a heart attack this week, or a stroke, or experienced their brains exploding as a result of how literally bananas  this episode was, right? Good! I admit it was kind of a close call, there, but I'm pleased to say I made it through essentially in one piece. (Granted, sleeping Monday night was quite a struggle since I couldn't stop thinking about/theorizing about everything we just learned in this episode, but whatever, I can sleep when I'm dead). Anyway, so how great was "Condition Terminal?" Maybe great isn't the right word-- I thoroughly enjoyed the entirety of the episode, but there were some parts that scared me or frustrated me. First was the pa...

Mis amigos , I'm going to be honest with you-- I literally have no idea  what the hell is going on this season. I know that sounds like a complaint, but it's really not! As I mentioned at the end of the previous recap, I have watched a lot  of TV in my life, to the point where it's really hard for me to be surprised or confused as to what is going on, because it doesn't take long for me to find the pattern and figure out what is going to happen. In the case of this season of Teen Wolf though, the storyline has been woven in such a complicated way that it's been difficult to pinpoint the motivations of the possibly-bad-guys, which of course makes it equally difficult to figure out what they're going to do next. The main confusion I'm having about this show is specifically regarding the Dread Doctors and what their aims are, because let's be real here, their actions have been a little nuts. Giving a werewolf glowing talons and enhanced strength and send...

Welp, it's official, everyone-- Liam Dunbar is too precious for this world. Seriously, to think that when he first showed up in Season 4's "Muted," I was like, "Ugh, this punk-ass Jackson wannabe." BUT HE'S NOT A JACKSON WANNABE. He's funnier, more compassionate, and more endearing than Jackson ever was, in my humble opinion. He's really more like Isaac, but with Stiles' penchant for hilarious faces and comedic timing. I am literally enjoying every single moment he's on screen, especially when it's with Mason, because the two of them together are just too adorable for words. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting when Mason would eventually be read into the supernatural world, but I was still not at all surprised when he reacted with unbridled enthusiasm that his best friend is a lycanthrope. Mason is such a perfect prince. I admit, I wasn't thrilled when I learned he would be on the show either, because it seemed like t...

*singsongs* REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOOOOOOOD. This is exactly how I feel now that Teen Wolf is back! Don't get me wrong, I love The Originals , and despite my issues with The Vampire Diaries , I will always adore it too, but I didn't realize just how much I was missing the McCall Pack and its variety of beasties until last night when the episode aired. And it was GOOD, wasn't it? Kathleen and I still aren't totally sold yet on the whole "5A is probably one big flashback" thing yet, but it's still an interesting change-up from previous seasons. It kind of reminds me of Season 3A's "Frayed," but in a good way. So, let's run down the amazingness, shall we? Scott and Stiles are the cutest bros to ever bro, as usual, and have literally become Liam's parents. Liam is so precious  and cares so much about the pack that it is killing me. Malia is still working her ass off in her academic life and for her pack, and with a perfect hairc...

This blog's TVD recaps are a testament to how much I love Bonnie Bennett, and it's because of this love that it has been so hard to recap the first chapter and a half of this season-- I mean, it has basically been a clip show of Bonnie getting shit on over and over and over: sacrificing her freedom to send Damon home, being tortured on numerous occasions by Kai, being left there all alone by him with no magic to free herself from the prison world, etc etc etc. This episode was pretty hard to watch for this reason, because Bonnie was so lonely , you guys. So lonely that she was totally willing to end her own life (and, if you remember my Season 5 recaps, I also hate the whole suicidal ideation theme of this show, but that's another discussion entirely), and had it not been because of some quick thinking from the astral-projection form of Jeremy, she'd probably be dead right now, and I'm so glad that she isn't. So yeah, this episode is all about Bonnie, specifi...

Like the previous recap, I'm just going to jump on in, but I just wanted to say WOO FREYA MIKAELSON, because she is seriously the best, am I right? And I am so excited for Rebekah to actually have a mostly-nice sister to support her, because being the lone girl (and the youngest  girl/sibling, which is like a double-whammy) in a family full of boys probably gets old very quickly, wouldn't you say? So yay, she and Rebekah are finally out of the damn Fauline asylum, and it's time for a family reunion! Also, sorry for the lateness-- I was doing so well, but then a bunch of unexpected distractions ended up making me behind, so hopefully the rest will come quicker than this one! Let's talk "Sanctuary," yeah? Previously, on The Originals :  After a day spent on the astral plane with his brothers, Finn figured out that Elijah and Klaus are hiding something major from him (*coughHopecoughcough*) and decided to take Marcel and his vampires prisoner in hopes of someho...

At this rate, I'm running out of things to say in these introductions, so let's just skip the formalities and get to talking about "Prayer For The Dying," yeah? Especially since I totally posted this without adding in the previouslies because my brain is pretty much scrambled between the scorching heat, a ridiculous case of PMS, and my brain being flooded with recap discussion ideas. Whoops! Previously, on The Vampire Diaries:  Despite the fact that Elena had her memories of loving Damon erased when she thought he had died for good, she has still managed to relearn the good about him and has decided to take the plunge with him again. Kai then captured Elena before she could have dinner with Damon and decided to practice magic on her, because SURPRISE!-- Kai sucked up the anti-magic Travelers spell throughout Mystic Falls, which is good because now the vampires can return home, but it's also bad, because that gave Kai a shitload of powers. Fortunately, Damon man...

Like I said at the end of the last recap, I absolutely ADORED this episode. First of all, any TV show that sheds light on a historical topic that most high schools have erased from their curricula is amazing, and something not enough people know about are the African-Americans/black Americans who fought in World War I, despite the fact that they were barely treated like people in the country for which they were fighting in the war. Plus, something The Originals does really well is taking historical events and people (like the casquette girls, for example, which was covered in the aptly named The Casket Girls ) and weave it into their own mythology. Rebekah Mikaelson ended up freeing a bunch of casquette girls and turning them into vampires so they could never be hurt by men, and as we learned in this episode, Marcel turned his entire all-black regiment, the Harlem Hell Fighters, an actual regiment of black infantry soldiers who fought in World War I, into vampires to ensure their sur...

Things are getting super-sad in this TVD recap catch-up extravaganza, since Liz Forbes' days are officially numbered, so the next couple recaps are gonna be a doozy to write. When you add this in with the reveal that vampire blood really doesn't cure cancer and the fact that Kai is still causing all kinds of shenanigans, "Woke Up With a Monster" was a pretty intense episode, which, by the way, was directed by Paul Wesley, aka Stefan Salvatore, and he did a really good job, in my humble opinion! So, I'm just going to get on with it, yeah? Previously, on The Vampire Diaries :  Shady Sarah revealed herself to actually be Shady Monique, a childhood best friend to the real Sarah Salvatore. When Enzo realized that Stefan had a secret regarding Sarah that he didn't want anyone to know, he killed Monique and decided to force Matt into joining his "Let's ruin Stefan's life" -cause after Matt tried and failed to kill him. Liz was diagnosed with a ...

So, imagine that you're a vampire and you're trapped inside a house with your mortal enemies, the werewolves. Probably not a fun time, right? Well, add in the fact that your vampire bloodlust has been magically increased to unbearable levels, and you're still a newbie, so you barely have control over your hunger, and, oh!-- one of the werewolves you're trapped with is your boyfriend, and he's starting to look mighty yummy, and not in the sexy way. Well, this is pretty much the plot of what happened in this episode, most particularly to Josh, and as you can probably guess, it was really not the best day, to be honest. Finn apparently has developed a hatred for werewolves that equals his already-super-strong hatred for vampires, so he got the brilliant idea of locking the two communities in the compound with a boundary spell in the hopes that the vampires' magnified thirst for blood would result in the two groups fighting amongst themselves until they all killed e...

Hey guys, it's been two whole years since I started this blog! WOO! Can you believe it? Where has the time gone? When I first started, I was only recapping Season 3A of Teen Wolf , and I had 99 page views in the first month. Since then, I've had almost 160,000 page views for over 110 recaps of Teen Wolf, The Originals, The Vampire Diaries , and a few episodes of Suits , which is pretty incredible for a nobody like me! So, thank you all so  much for sticking around, reading my recaps, and leaving comments about what you think! Since there are over a hundred posts now, I thought I'd start an archive page in order to make it a little easier to find what you're looking for. I know that Blogger is pretty great about making all of the blog posts accessible on the right-hand sidebar, but I figured since they're all kind of scrambled up-- thanks to juggling several shows at once and my laissez-faire attitude regarding my own self-imposed deadlines-- that it might be he...

It's Christmas in Mystic Falls as we're chugging along in my mania-fueled scramble to catch up on recaps, but unfortunately for the MFG, things are not going that well-- Kai teams up with Tyler, Liv, and a reluctant Luke to force Jo to take her magic back; Liz has a major secret (the fact that she has brain cancer) that finally gets revealed to Caroline and the others when Liz collapses at Caroline's dorm; and Matt and Jeremy make a dumb plan to take out Enzo for good, plus a bunch of other stuff. However, there was one bright spot-- the Traveler's spell to block non-traditional-magic has been sucked up by Kai, which means the vampires can go back to Mystic Falls! The bad news is, now he has all that power, which is likely not going to bode well for anyone. So, let's talk about "Christmas Through Your Eyes " and all the drama that ensued, shall we? Previously, on The Vampire Diaries :  Last season, the Travelers cast a powerful spell that completely bloc...

Welp, we had Thanksgiving in May a couple weeks ago, and now we get Christmas in June, because in this episode of The Originals , the Mikealsons (Elijah, Klaus, Rebekah, Hope, and Hayley) are finally all reunited for the first time in ages at their new safe house, and it is MAGICAL. Photos are taken, bonfires are had, and tons and tons of scheming and plotting go down, reminding us that when the four of them put their heads together, they're pretty amazing and unstoppable. Not to mention that Kol gave them an assist, though his good deed is a liiiiiiiiittle less impressive when he gets even with Rebekah regarding a grudge he's been holding since 1914. The best news to come out of this episode is that, for now, Esther has been de-powered, because her daughter managed to turn her into a vampire without her even suspecting it, proving once and for all that Rebekah is as devious as her brothers and does not get the credit she deserves. But, why summarize everything in the introdu...