Emily Watches Too Much Television

I have a problem, my friends, and that problem is Kate Argent. Between her hijinks in the time since her "death," her weird connection to Araya and the Calavera hunters, and those crazy bony things that I am pretty sure are berserkers, I have so many questions (and half-formed theories) and I am DYING for answers. And that's not even getting into that whole "turning-Derek-into-a-cute-teenager" thing. Like, what the fuck is she doing? What are her motivations? I have a couple ideas, tbh, though probably unlikely-- with this show, though, you never really know. I'm hoping it will help out timeline-wise, as well, although we all know Jeff Davis is allergic to numbers, and as such, trying to make a logical timeline is totally futile. I cannot take credit for all of these ideas, though; anything in this post are theories and hypotheses that are a result of my frequent brainstorming sessions with my dearest Kathleen , which is very much a collaborative effort. ...

[Edited to add: I started writing my notes/speculation section after I finished the recap, and realized that I have way too much to say in the way of theories/meta to tack it to the end of an already way too long recap, so they're going into another post that should be set to be posted on Saturday. Expect TONS of discussion regarding Kate Argent, Araya/the Calaveras, and Teenage!Derek, among other things! Sorry for the switch up, but I figure it's probably easier to read this way.] HOLY. SHIT. HOLY. SHIT. HOLY. SHIT. I admit that I was the tiniest bit nervous about this new season, because losing Allison and Isaac both seemed like a huge blow to the pack and to the show in general, especially considering they were my favorite characters after King Scott. Don't get me wrong, this show is my baby, and I will most likely watch/love it until the bitter end, so I was mostly SUPER EXCITED to learn what's going down in Beacon Hills for this round, but there was still that ...

HOLY. SHIT. I am a TV nut, so I have seen quite a few season finales in my day, but I cannot for the life of me remember a time that I felt SO SATISFIED with an ending. Like, seriously, this neatly tied up all of the dangling threads in the most perfect way possible. Remember how when we first learned that Hayley was pregnant, and then we were all angry, like, "WHY WOULD THEY PUT A BABY ON A SHOW ABOUT MURDEROUS MONSTERS?" And then, sometime during this season, I actually got ATTACHED to that little demon child, and the thought of her being killed by Genevieve (or worse, MONIQUE) was absolutely devastating. But, at the same time, nobody actually WANTS a little baby on a supernatural drama, because while Klaus changing diapers would be pretty hilarious the first time, it would get super boring after like one episode. So, this ending was the perfect way to remedy that-- the newborn Baby Mikaelson gets to go live with Auntie Beks and have the white picket fence they both deserv...

This episode was seriously BANANAS, you guys. I have to say that it is probably one of my all-time favorite episodes EVER, which is a pretty high bar, considering the vast amount of television I have consumed over the years. Seriously, though, literally everything that could go wrong, did go wrong in this episode, and I was NOT expecting any of it. First, we're given a bunch of blows to the gut just in reveals alone--Genevieve tricked Klaus by using his blood in the moonlight stones as a power source, which means the moonlight stones that will actively be used by werewolves on a full moon will be drawing on HIS strength to control their transformations. And, to make matters worse, she had secretly made a plan with Francesca to rip off the Crescents and give HER the moonlight stones, because get this, THEY'RE FUCKING GUERRERA WEREWOLVES, who have not only been pretending to be human this whole time, but specifically waited until they had the means to control their transformat...